02

"No really, I don't get it".Leah said confused while I was pacing in my bedroom.

"They're family and are staying with you, where's the problem?"

Leah called me fifteen minutes after I had texted .Hearing the frustration in my voice she got worried and came over . And now she's sitting criss-cross on my bed , eating crisps and interviewing me.

"Look,"I said, explaining with my hands "I don't have any problem with them at all, but..-

"But?But what?"Lea questioned.

"He's coming too," I gulped"it's just-"

It's just really awkward, why can't I just have a problem free life. With him around I don't see that happening any time soon.

"Ohmygod Emma!Don't tell me you still have a crush on him."

Crush?

What?

I don't really think I had a crush on him , maybe I liked him a teeny tiny bit? Ohgod this is so frustrating I don't even know myself!

"Ok..?"I fell back on my bed covering my face with my hands. "It wasn't a crush , I just kind of...liked him."

It's the same thing you goof.

"Doesn't matter. The point is, do you still 'like' him."

"Ugh I don't know".I groaned. "I haven't seen him-- I mean met him in four years, I don't even know how my stupid ass is gonna react."

She gave me a weird look. I realised what I just said and threw a pillow at her.

"I didn't mean it that way you idiot!"I heard her laugh.

"Whatever you say lovebirdd."She sang.

"Ugh you're impossible. Remind me why we're friends again."

"Aw c'mon!" she pouted"You love me. And don't worry Okay? You'll survive meeting Mr.Charming and when we sort out your feelings , we'll do something about it. Alright?"

"Thanks Lee, what would I do without you." I sighed dramatically.

"Exactly." I rolled my eyes.

Arrogant .

"But right now I have to head home. Seeyou tomorrow Em".

"Seeyou Lee." I watched her close the door.

So, tomorrow. How bad can it be right?

'Very bad if you don't get a hold of yourself.'

Right.I have to act perfectly normal. I can't let it get to my head.

I won't

I will not.

Plus,even if I do like him, I'll only end up making a fool of myself right?He can never , ever like me back.

Why?Becuase I'm so me. A plain ol' girl who's curled up in her room reading a new good book, who's got her head in fantasies. I've never befriended aLOT of people. To the outside world I might be shy and quiet but Leah would give them a 'You've got to be kidding" look. With my people I'm loud , I guess? Others just expect so much from you and I just don't wanna push my limits. In conclusion, I'm just me.

Maybe he'd understand , maybe he won't, maybe I don't even like him anymore .

With a hundred different thoughts in my head, I drift off to sleep.

Something I love with all my heart

And soul.

***********

"Congratulations Ms.Emma! So how does it feel now that you're officially the author of a best selling novel and DAMN fifty thousand copies have been bought in the past 2 months."

"Uh-first of all-"

"Chicken."

"Excuse me ?"

"Wake up chicken."

"I- AAA."

Why am I on fire ? Is this hell?

My whole body is ablaze and I'm shaking violently. It's the end of the world isn't it?

"WAKE UP EMMAA."

My eyes snapped open and saw the Devil infront of me. Oh I'm in hell alright.

"What the hell, Tyler ?" I barked , getting rid of the ice cubes that my oh-so-very-nice brother woke me up with.

Why did we even have ice cubes ?

"It's"--laugh--"time for" -- hysterical laugh--"breakfast."The devil managed to say.

Seriously though. What's up with people and their ridiculous ways of waking me up?

"You're so evil you put Lucifer to shame " I scoffed.

"Aw sis, I'm hurt." He dramatically sighed putting his hand on his chest. "But this was PRICELESS."

Tyler was the perfect definition of a necessary evil. He might have this 'don't mess with me ' appearance but is a real softie at heart and a huge jokester. The 'yes I understand ' kind of person who's famous for his good looks, his eyes a lighter green shade than mine and chestnut colored hair (and arrogance).

"Whatever. I'll be down in a bit. So please." I gestured towards the door.

"You're telling this handsome man to leave ?" He pointed to himself.

"Man," I teased. "Big word".

"You're just jealous of my handsomeness."

Secret words Emma. Secret words.

Okay so my brother's a big , BIG narcissist. I mean yeah he's good looking but he gets the best of it ,ever since we were kids , whenever I needed him to do something for me I had to use the secret words and it worked mostly. Like hell he'd let me borrow his favourite music albums.

"Okay you're very handsome, now will you leave?" I pleaded. "Please?"

"You know the secret words lil sis."He poked my nose and made his way downstairs.

Asshole.

But I loved this asshole.

Life was unbearable with him but it would definitely be unbearable without him too.

I stretched my arms and made my way towards the bathroom.

After doing my daily routine I tied my hair in a bun and drawed the curtains , letting the sunlight illuminate the cyan blue walls of my room.

I analysed my room which I must say , was not in a very pretty state. There were piles of clothes on the couch and my study table was littered with pens and books that should be on the bookshelf . The dressing was a mess and my closet was about to puke clothes.

Still not bad enough to be cleaned yet.

You might wanna leave a good impression to the people who are coming, mind you, today.

Oh crap, right.

********

Unpredictability is good. Sometimes it is. But its more than that. Its scary. Its haunting , it's a spiral. Depends on how you think about it tbh. Just like the spiral , that becomes infinitely small but becomes infinitely large too. But I don't understand.

I closed my diary shut and made my way downstairs. It was a tiring day and I had just woken up. I was honestly dragging my day through

"Goodmorning mum." I exclaimed.

" Its really early to be called a morning. " mum said sarcastically.

Ouf the people in this house and their sarcasm.

Opening the fridge I looked for something to devour. Milk and Oreos ? Cornflakes?

A gauava, that would do.

"You are so not having JUST that for breakfast missy." My mum scolded.

"But I'm not hungry!" I defended myself.

"You're NEVER hungry. Hurry up and eat this." She said handing me a plate of spaghetti.

"For breakfast?" I questioned.

"It's 1 pm." She narrowed her eyes. Finding this as my cue to shutup before she started lecturing me on my oh-so-very-nice routine, I sat down on the couch and started eating.

"Alright I'm going out for a bit. I have some things to buy-Oh and when was the last time you watered the flowers in the yard?"

Oh. Flowers.

" Yester- I'll do it today . "

"Make sure." She mumbled as she closed the door.

Where the heck was my head? I guess I did know.

**********