lewannabestar

Have you ever felt like you're supposed to be somewhere? Anywhere but where you are? Like you're constantly falling and moving back up to the top And there's no end to It?You feel like a raindrop that's falling but never actually reaches the ground. It was made only to disappear before it actually got to be where it should've been. And there's no end to it.

 This is the story of a seventeen year old girl named Emma who is confused about her feelings, but basically about who she is and who she wants to be.

The story about a girl who had to drown in herself to find out who she truly is, without any external circumstances attached.

lost in transition

Sometimes we think a particular sentiment, a feeling is gone. But No, our negligence pushes it to the back of our mind. We know it's there , a part of us always does but we can't admit it. We don't want to. We make ourselves believe that it's gone until we calm it and put it in a sealed box , locking it away. 


But then , What we dread the most,happens. We think we became numb. We feel indifferent. But the point is that we think we feel indifferent, we don't really.


One moment, one little moment is all it takes to make it all rush back , to remind you of everything again. And this time you realize, your wounds never healed, they never got a sincere, honest treatment.


That's something I realised when I saw him , after all these years when I saw him set foot in my territory.


I pretended as if I hadn't seen him yet as I hugged Aunt Laurice.


"Ohmygod Emma , is this you? You've grown up so much." 


"Its so nice to finally see you aunty! It's been so long." I smiled sweetly. 


"Yes Dear how are you?"she said,her hazel eyes on me.


"I'm great Thank you." I said as mum approached from behind me.


"Laurice!"As both of them greeted each other my eyes darted towards him.


My breath hitched for a moment. I tried not to but ended up checking him out. How can somebody look so attractive without even trying? He's wearing a  navy button down shirt with black jeans and white converse. 


I stepped towards him and managed to say "Hi."


His dark brown eyes met my green ones. Looking at me a minute too long "Hey."


I reached out my hand for him to shake and he did , gently.


'Shutup' I said to the stupid voice in my head. It's just a handshake chill. 


"Uh why're you still standing at the door?" I blurted out.


Before he could answer I heard a familiar voice "Waiting for meeeee!"


Max , an adorable eight year old rushed inside. He opened his mouth to say something to his brother but closed it when his eyes located me.


"You're Emma right? I nodded. "Do you still have Legos?"


Max was busy playing with my legos, which I still had somewhere in the store room surprisingly. I spent a good amount of time looking for them. He made a rainbow coloured Lego tower as tall as he was and stood with it. I laughed and took his picture.


Uncle Paul and dad were talking about politics and I'd rather listen to them than the ladies talk about how their cousin's friend's sister was having a baby.


"What do you mean you're going back soon?" I heard my dad say.


"Well, the children might stay a while here. We- "  He stopped midsentence , probably realising that I could hear him too.


"I'll tell you some other time. So how's your business going?."


And soon they were talking about politics again. 


Something was off, I could sense it. But if it meant that Mason was living here for however long, why not.


                         *********


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