7: Realistic Nightmares

Stella's POV

Trigger Warning

Once Ty left after dropping me off at my place, I began my nightly routine to get ready for bed. I pulled on my pajama shorts that rested a few inches lower than my butt and then slid my spaghetti strap crop top over my head which ended up resting a couple inches above my shorts letting it show off a little skin from my stomach. I loved these pajamas, they're always so comfy and light as if I'm not wearing anything.

I threw my hair into a messy bun so I could wash my face. In the meantime I let my mind wander to today's events. Honestly I can't believe I spent most of the day with Ty. I felt great being with him, he's so funny and kind and genuine, but I also can't help thinking I'm wrong doing this. It's not morally right, right? I mean I just got out of a relationship. I'm acting like it never happened. It may not have been the best relationship, but it must've been something for me, I mean I must've saw something in him because I was with him for a long time. I feel like you can't brush things off like that so easily. Especially what I've gone though, I can't shake it that easily. If I'm being honest with myself, I don't think I'll even be able to shake those memories at all. I stayed with him because I felt like I had an obligation to make it work or I'd feel weak or like I was giving up too easily.

How am I even supposed to know if I was even good company for Ty today? I mean yeah I saw him smile and laugh and tell me he had a good time, but what if he was doing it out of pity because of how he saw my relationship end? I can't help thinking I might've said the wrong things while walking back home. I know that I was never doing right by Dave, but I always tried so incredibly hard to please him. To feel like I was finally doing something right. Every time I thought I was doing great or that I was going to impress him; it was anything but great or impressive. I guess maybe that's why I felt obligated to stay with him until I could prove I did something right. In the end I came to terms that some people can't be pleased or satisfied or tell others they're doing great because they can't feel that themselves. They're miserable on the inside and they can't make others happy either. They want everyone to feel the same thing they do.

I threw my toothbrush at the mirror out of range from my baffling thoughts and started sobbing. I slid down my bathroom door until I hit the floor. Now I'm left feeling like I can't do anything right. Dave was my first real boyfriend and he ruined it for me. Now every time I'm out with people I feel like analyzing everything I do in case I'm doing it wrong. It's not fair! I sob even harder but still trying to stay quiet because I hate hearing myself cry. It's ugly and it reminds me that I'm weak. I didn't deserve to be the punching bag to his insecurities. Now I'm left with my own insecurities, I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but what if Dave is right? What if I really did do so many things wrong to piss him off? What if I made his insecurities worse?

I continue to cry hard into my hands. This feeling I hope no one has to go through. It's too hard sometimes. It hurts too much. I feel so lonely and frustrated because I feel this way.

I hear a knock on the door and I wipe my eyes dry and abruptly stop my crying. "Hey Stel, I ran out of toothpaste can I borrow some?" I hear Kathy mumble just outside.

I clear my throat and try and sound as normal as possible. "Yeah give me a second I'm just finishing up, I'll bring it to you."

"K thanks!" I hear her say as she walks away.

I heave a sigh and sluggishly stand up. I clean up my toothpaste mess and look at myself in the mirror. I'm blessed to not get red eyes when I cry. I look basically normal if it wasn't for the red nose and slightly more pink cheeks. Why do I have to go through this? I shake my head and leave to give Kathy some toothpaste.

                      •           •           •

Work today was pretty slow. I haven't heard from Ty for a long time. I mean what if he doesn't want to talk to me anymore? My thoughts from last nights meltdown is starting to feel very real for me right about now. I'm annoyed at the same time, because I also feel like I need to back off from him a little bit. I just went through a break up and I need to take things slow. I want to be with him but I feel like I can't at the same time.

I start to close up shop and shut off the lights when I hear the door open and the bell signal that someone is coming in. "Sorry we're closed."

"Sorry Miss, I guess I've just been craving to look at something all day today."

I look towards the door to see who it was only to see Ty standing there sheepishly with his hands in his pockets staring hopefully at me. I give him a small grin and go to grab my bag and head towards the door.

Once I reach him I set my bags down and look up at his handsome face. "And what was it you're craving to see?" I ask amused.

His smile starts to turn a little more serious then looks me straight in the eye, "you."

My eyes widen and eyebrows turn up slightly. I look down towards the ground trying to hide how uncomfortable I feel.

He grabs my chin softly between his thumb and index finger to lift my face up to meet his eyes. "I've missed you." He says softly then starts to caress my chin with his thumb.

I smile halfheartedly and take his hand slowly away from me. He looks at me with concern. "What's the matter?" I look at him again and see him staring intently all over my face to get a reading from me.

I sigh and back away from him to grab my bag again and head towards the door to lock it. Once we're outside and I turn back around after locking the door he stops me from moving.

"Stella, was it something I said?"

"No gosh no. It's nothing you did." I sigh frustratingly. "I just have a lot of feelings and I just broke up with Dave and I like being with you, but it's just so overwhelming."

He looks at me confused. I sigh and look away to walk down the sidewalk towards my place.

"Hey wait a minute." He runs to catch up to me. "I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable or if I was rushing you into anything."

"Please it's not your fault. You're perfect, it's just I'm not sure how I feel about everything. I guess I just need time to think and process everything."

"I get that, but I want you to know that I want to be with you. I want to be with you all the time. I couldn't stop thinking about you today. I want to get to know you more." He says.

This was very sweet of him and I couldn't deny that I wanted the same thing, I'm just worried it might not work out. I'm worried I'm going to mess up. I'm worried that it's wrong of me to move on so fast.

I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn't realize the men just right in front of me. I feel a hand wrap around my torso stopping me mid walk and pull me back. Ty walks in front of me shielding me with his arm from the men in front of us. I count 5 of them. They look very intimidating.

"Lovely night isn't it?" One of the guys said. They look like they're part of some stupid immature gang.

"Guys we really don't want any trouble. We're just heading home for the night." Ty says sternly.

The supposed leader walks towards Ty slowly. "Of course you don't, but we're a little bored and are looking for some fun." The other men around him laugh slightly.

I grab onto Ty's shirt from the back tightly.

Then so incredibly fast that I couldn't possibly see coming the leader punches Ty in the stomach making him doubling over in a coughing fit and grabbing onto himself before hitting the ground.

"Ty!" I rush to go to his side but am picked up from behind and lifted into the air. I screech and try to hit the mans arms to get them off me.

"Get off me!" I yell while I try to scratch and peel his arms off from around me. I'm thrashing wildly as they take me to the alley that was just next to us.

"Stella! Get your fucking hands off her!" I hear Ty yell while two other guys hold him at bay from me.

Two men now grab one arm each keeping me from getting away. Ty also has two other guys on his arms keeping him from getting loose on the opposite side of the alley now facing each other.

I look over at Ty with terror in my eyes and now sobbing. Ty is beyond terrified but not exactly at the situation he's in but more because he can't get near me to protect me. "Don't hurt her please. Let her go!"

The leader is in between us and smirks at Ty before heading over to me. "Ok I won't hurt her. How about we have a little fun though?"

Ty's eyes widen and jolts forward but is held back by the two guys.

"Help!" I scream. The leader walks up then slaps me with such force causing my head to whip to the side. I yelp but stay silent afterwards. I feel my cheek a little moist and drip a little; most likely blood after such force.

"Shut up! I don't want to be interrupted." The leader walks behind me and moves my hair from around my neck exposing it for him.

"You asshole!" I hear Ty yell but it's silenced with another punch to the stomach.

I'm breathing heavily through my nose. My tears are still streaming down my face and I'm shaking terribly from fear.

The leader is sick. He keeps looking from me to Ty. He then leans in near my ear and takes a big snif of my hair. I'm not moving at all anymore. I'm just petrified. He slowly snakes his arm around my waist and starts to unbutton my blouse exposing my black braw slightly. I look over at Ty, furious trying to shake off the men beside him. His face is red as if he's been yelling I can even see the veins popping out on his neck. All I hear is the blood rushing from my own body.

Before anything can get too far I hear two siren beeps from what I assume is a cop car to our right. Then I briefly hear from his microphone, "break it up!" I doubt the cop even saw what was happening it was too dark.