Lost in a limbo

My vision had somehow managed to trick me into thinking Dr. Peterson was my mom and in consequence I attacked him. He laid on the concrete floor lifelessly as White Eyes and Jake looked at me preoccupied.

I was completely shocked after the guards arrived and arrested me, numbness was a bare description in comparison. Forced to move ahead, I watched as White Eyes looked at me with disappointment, while Jake went to tell the others. My mind empty with guilt, couldn't process my repetitive actions, and as I headed towards my death, I didn't seem to notice. The guards continued to push me forward pulling on my handcuffs attached to my hands and feet, as we headed outside, almost like a dog I stuck my tongue out and breathed in the fresh air of the outside world. On my sides, there were beautiful flowers, a rose struck over the other flowers with it's captivating beauty. Sneakily, I grabbed the rose and stuck it on my pocket, almost certain I had killed another living being.

The guards walked furiously with guns on their waists and stern looks on their faces in front of me, leading to a large truck which gates opened on the back. I started to wonder if I'd be able to escape or if after all a monster like me needed to be executed. Every time I tried to do things right, I ended up screwing up, killing everyone on my way; I hated myself for the way I was but that didn't change anything. Maybe after all, I was just like my mother, but still to this day I can't understand her reasons.

"Move up you scum!" The guard on my left pushed me aggressively towards the entrance of the back of the truck; slowly I climbed over and sat on the cold metal.

"Gentlemen, welcome to hell." I smiled as they closed the gate and the ignition came to life.

"I don't know why you bastards are even born." One of the guards commented under his breath. The other guard sat next to me and held onto the chains attached to the handcuffs, his face was calm and disturbing. Suddenly his eyes turned to me though his face remained still, his grip became tighter. "You know I could kill you right now, right?" His voice was deep and evil.

"Do it. Then instead of mine, your neck will hang on the rope that's awaiting me." I laughed hysterically.

In response he shook his head, and turned his look away. The other guard watched in silent as the truck continued his way down the road.

Suddenly, the truck crashed and it seemed to roll over some kind of hill; the obscure walls that surrounded me stopped me from looking outside. There was a sharp pain on my chest and blood ran down my head. As I looked to my right, the guard that had been gripping on my handcuffs was badly hurt, and the other seemed to be dead.

"Was not me.." I joked, while I coughed out some blood. My eyes burned as I watched the fire around me, sure the truck would explode, I tried to rush outside, though I fell over as the handcuffs around my feet tangled with a strong metal, and knocked my head on the ground leaving me unconscious.

After that, everything seemed to vanish while some part of my body seemed to travel away. In the darkness, a tall dark wall stood upon me, many, despite their differences, would admit that this could be considered paradise, as its striking aura could hypnotize our most secret desires. Though, as I watched the wonders of the wall, I swimmed through my mind, admiring its depth and almost drowning in a pool of many colours, in which there was an infinite length of thoughts. My fingers, flinching as I touched the wall, did not seem to consider a texture, and with pure excitement, my legs followed along.

The mysterious wall became fluid in touch; every step of the way, arms coming from an abyss wrapped their arms around me, embracing me to keep walking. The temperature quickly increased, as I glanced at the burning ground, dozens of corpses and screaming souls reached for my body desperately; flames burned my bones and thoughts, though after all I felt nothing. Amazed, I continued to walk with an excited melted face; what I wanted was, after all , worth this hell, I told myself.What did I want though? I couldn't remember anything but the fact I wanted this. One of the wandering souls managed to reach my head, its efforts to snap my neck were seen pathetic; considering its pain there was no surprise. Reaching for my pocket, I awkwardly thanked the flames for they hadn't burned the rose I was keeping there, perhaps it was the catalyst to reach such a dimension.

Holding the rose, I took one last glance into the infinite path with circular black and white patterns; my energy to keep walking just as infinite as the path led. There was a sweet smell, almost familiar, yet very unrecognizable that mix matched with a very still silence that alarmed a mystical storm.

"Perhaps I'd be walking forever" I said to exactly no one. Concerned that this could be my destiny, I tried to stop, but I could no longer control my body.

Suddenly, the loop ahead of me moved as the waves of a furious sea, and its circular patterns transformed into a checkered pattern hall, with luminous party lights on each side.

Nevertheless, the most daunting part was when I took a glance at a flowing window on my left, though unsurprisingly it was black, my reflection caught me off guard. My face had taken many different shapes and colours, resting my hand on my cheek, I watched as my eyes fell out of shape and my skin seemed to move downwards. My hair, thankfully normal, had turned into a rainbow of colours, even ones I could not identify, and it grew longer, falling to my ears. Despite the strangeness, I remained fascinated with my look.

The window, unseen, left my way as I continued to walk through the void; hours must have passed, but my mind pushed me to believe there was no such thing as 'time'. A loud stereo resonated at some large undetermined distance; party music and distant chattering, was enough to fasten my pace.

As if falling from an abyss, my body dropped, and the ground opened beneath me; darkness hugged my body, and air overfilled my lungs.

"Shit!" I cursed in defeat. Was I never going to reach that party? And what about paradise? My curse echoed through nothingness, as all I did was fall.

This had not been scary in comparison to what I saw in the dark; all types of insects, from rats to cockroaches to centipedes, hanged from a non existent wall, and with piercing eyes they watched as I fell.

Ratting chains were heard in the background, which I later recognized to be what had saved me from the fall. They held me up, and cuffed me tight, pulling me up to where I fell from. When they disappeared, grotesque scars marked my skin, but the music was nearer now, and a gigantic yellow door was on sight. Continuing my pace, I wondered why suddenly everything around me seemed to grow bigger, and my footsteps never seemed to get anywhere. Had I gotten smaller?

Hungry from all the walking, my stomach roared as loud as a tiger, and I grew desperate to reach that yellow door. Every step I took seemed to be 2 steps back, the yellow door moving away faster every second; before I acknowledged my hunger, I started to run while throwing my hands on the air, I tried to reach the now diminutive yellow light. What did I really desire? The yellow door, the party, food, or paradise? Everything seemed to be so far, and my efforts were seen pathetic like the poor soul that tried to snap my neck. Perhaps I'm hallucinating in hell, or could this be part of all the process to reach what I really want? My mind seemed to go in circles just like my legs, and I pondered upon the fact that I could be trapped in my own mind.