Entry #4 - The Organization (of emotions)

I stood in silence, unable to find the words to say in that moment. "So, there is an organization hiding in plain sight, kidnapping...people like me. Why?" Kel nods in affirmation, "Yes, their end goals are relatively unknown so far, but one thing is certain: They are training Awaken in an attempt to amass a large amount of agents to do their bidding. We have tried to fight them in any way we can, but Awaken are far more powerful than people like us who train to unlock our magic. We have lost many a good men and women in the fight against The Organization." I interrupt, "And you think I can help you? I mean, even if I AM an Awaken, I'm just one person. They sound, well, more than what I could ever hope to go against." Moira, up until now seemingly lost in thought, staring at me, speaks up, "Yes, but from what we've seen so far, I'm sure that you could take on a whole squad of them." she then turns to hide her cheeks which had slowly begun to redden.

Kel, clearing his throat, continues, "You seem to be different from the others, and I think we can play this to our advantage. Most can only expend their magic into a certain power, or type of power, but if today has any bearing, is that you can channel through multiple types of power." John, chiming in continues the thought, "See, every type of power has a weakness, and equally, has a strength. The main reason The Organization has been training so many Awaken, is to compile teams that have one person of each type of power. That way, they fill in the gaps of each other, providing the strength that one might lack and creating a team, in theory, with no weakness, if coordinated well enough." Moira steps forward, now relatively composed from before, "That is why it is important that you have, seemingly, control over your magic; to be able to direct it among all the powers, to adapt to each type. With enough practice you should be able to read the weaknesses and change based on that." I nodded to them and sat down to process all of the information, as they stood in silence.

In that silence, it all hit me at once; the implications of what everything means for me now. I can't go home, because they will likely be waiting for me. I can't see my friends, because I'm not risking another person dying just to get to me. Hell, I can't even go to work. "Hello...are you even listening to me?" Amanda said. "Oh, I'm... I'm sorry, I guess I'm just...thinking, you know, about everything. What were you saying?" With my words, the frustration in Amanda's face quickly melts into sorrow for my situation. Amanda cleared her throat as if to choke back tears, "I was saying, that we should settle in for the night, let you get some rest before we try and train and test anymore." Again, through all of what has happened, I didn't realize how tired I really was. John smiles and says, "You know where your room is, Brian. Everyone else, let's get some much needed sleep."

I enter what is now my new bedroom, and slowly close the door. I turn on the light and take in the surroundings, the same desk sits in the corner from before, the bed, sitting opposite of it in the adjacent corner. I eye a chest off to the side of the desk that I didn't see before. My curiosity tickled at my mind, but was soon overpowered by my desire to sleep. Stripping myself down to just my undergarments, I slide myself under the covers of the bed. Feeling the warmth of the heavy sheets lulling me to sleep.

~~I wake up in a familiar bed, soft linen dances across my chin as I pull myself from my slumber. Sitting up, I look to the clock next to me: 0559. Damn, I hate waking up just before my alarm goes off, it makes me feel unfulfilled, in a way. I walk up to the closet and slip on my robe and head for the kitchen. The timer goes off on the coffee maker as it begins to brew a fresh pot of my favourite blend. I thumb through my phone, looking at the latest news, all of it dreary and negative. I slam the phone down and pick up a book to read, I'd rather nurture my mind than let it get choked by all this bad news. My reading then gets interrupted by the coffee maker beeping to tell me that my "breakfast" is done. I pour the contents of the pot into my thermos and head back to the bedroom. After getting dressed into my clothes, I move to the right side of the bed. I lean down and kiss my wife on the forehead and whisper in her ear, "love you." She stirs under the sheets and lets out a faint grunt, "uhh, love you, too."~~

I wake up to the sound of grunting from behind the bedroom door, my body soaked in sweat, my face red. Wiping away the tears that bellowed from my eyes. I glance to the side to see an unfortunately familiar chest. Shoving my head into my pillow, still wet from the tears from last night, I begin to weep again.

Why? Why?

Why? Why?

WHY?!?! WHY DID THEY TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME!?!?!

I am interrupted by Kel bursting through the bedroom door, "Are you okay? What's happening?" Noticing the soreness in my throat, I realize that my desperate pleas that clouded my mind were, in fact, verbalized. "I'm fine, just leave me alone."

John joins in behind Kel, and in concern asks, "Do you need anything?"

no

"Water?"

no

"Anything to eat?"

NO

"maybe a..."

"NO, NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!" I feel my body flowing with energy, I know what is happening, but I can't stop it...I don't want to stop it. My energy bellows into my head and releases through my screams, releasing the energy in the form of wind; bursting the door off of its hinges and causing both Kel and John to be thrust backwards.

Guilt, anger, hatred, rage, they all fill my head, but I climb on to my bed and pull my legs into my chest and fall down with my head back to my pillow. I begin to cry again, but I've already cried all of the tears out. "I just want to be alone...I...I just want to be alone. Just leave me alone. Please."