Entry #5 - The Darkness

~~I open my eyes in a white void, particles dance around me. I feel both grounded and floating at the same time. What is this place? Am I dreaming? I've had lucid dreams before, but this is different, like its a blank slate. I think about an empty warehouse and the particles begin to form around me and phase into metal walls, concrete forms underneath my feet.

I pull energy into my body and it flows with the greatest of ease, as if neither myself nor the magic has any form; just existing intertwined. I still feel the anger, but also coupled with the anguish; I should be able to channel these emotions like I did before.

A new set of particles gather thirty feet in front of me and proceeds to take the form of a man. I don't know the face of my wife's killer, so for now he won't have a face. I then stare at the faceless shadow for what seems like an eternity.

Then, I release.

Thrusting my feet down deep into the ground underneath, I thrust myself forward towards the being, quickly closing in the gap. I sink myself into the chest off the being, and the particles explode into a mist. I stand there as the particles dissipate. Then I hear a faint voice that seems to come from everywhere around me.

"I love you"

Natalie...

The warehouse fades away as I lose all control of my dream, and my wife takes form in front of me. Natalie? I embrace her and clutch tightly. I miss you so much. I swear, I'm going to avenge your death, they will pay for what they've done. I will stop at nothing to...

"Shut up and hold me."

Those words shot through my soul. Every time we would lay in bed, I'd complain about work and she'd utter those words: shut up and hold me. She could calm me down with those words every single time; my problems would melt away and it would just be us. I wipe the tears from my eyes and open them to our bedroom, just as it was that night...

I glance down at the night stand and see my ring, passed down by the males in our family. I was going to give that to our kid one day, but why am I seeing it now? I never wear it, I never even take it out. I pick up the ring to inspect it further, and it begins to glow with an iridescent purple that proceeded to get brighter and brighter. Soon, the glow clouds my mind until it is all that I can see.~~

I open my eyes in a familiar room: desk in the corner, chest to the right of it. Wait, the ring, I need to find the ring; there has to be a reason behind me seeing it, and what was the light that shined from it? I quickly get my things together and proceed through the door way, making sure to avoid the splintered wood from my...incident.

Moira, who is sitting just outside my room stands up and greets me, "Good morning, Brian. John and Kel are fine, but we need to figure out what happened." "My emotions got the better of me, and I...couldn't control it. I...need to go though. I'm only going to hurt you all."

I run towards the door of the warehouse with Moira in tow yelling for me to come back. In the noise, I glance back to see Kel and Amanda step out to see what is going on. Stopping just short of the door, I turn to face them. "Just let me go, I don't want to hurt anyone again. Just let me go." Kel nods, "Moira, let it be, if he wants to be a coward, let him be a coward."

I brush off his comments, fuck him, what does he know. I run out the door and enter the sunlight, unsure of the time, or even where I am. I look around for some sort of landmark, or street sign, only to find that I am at a pier. Perfect, at least I know I'm at the pier; that means I am 5 miles from home (give or take.) I would run there with my powers, but that wouldn't be smart. Nodding to myself, I walk to the main road and wait for a taxi to drive by before hailing it. My stomach churns and feels as though it is in tight knots that I can't untie as I tell him the address.

Going home has a different feeling now than it did any time before. Was it my now heightened senses, or the dreams I've had over the past night that has brought all of my emotions back to the forefront of my mind?

Natalie, I'm sorry I couldn't save you.

Lost in my thoughts, it takes no time at all to reach home, and after handing the driver a $20 bill, I approach the front door. Memories flood my mind now, as I open the door and think of all those times I would come home to the smell of her latest invention that would usually turn out tasty. Though, we had our fair share of times where I had to order a pizza because it tasted awful.

I direct my eyes over to the couch, where we would spend countless nights watching some Korean romance drama; she alway adored "My Love From The Stars." She always compared our relationship to them: Me being the jaded old guy who was her perfectly handsome love and her being loved by everyone. I always agreed but only because I was constantly saving her from all of her crazy situations. Leading up the stairs, I see the empty walls which once held our wedding photos. I had gotten rid of everything that reminded me of her, but perhaps the lack of such is worse. It is those happy memories that make it hurt the most. Rounding the corner at the top of the stairs, I face the door to the bedroom. I stand there for what seems like an hour, unable to even reach for the door knob.

What memories will floods into my mind when I do?

Can I face them?

I must.

Opening up the door, my memories flood in again. This time, a specific moment: our last Valentine's day together. She had bought some fancy lingerie and filled the room with candles and put on a playlist of what she called "romantic punk" songs. We were always punk rock kids at heart. We made love all night long, and to top it off, she made me breakfast in bed the morning after. We made a vow after that night to never have pancakes in bed: it took forever to get the syrup out of the sheets.

Composing myself once more, I move to the closet and find an old box I have with various personal belongings from my youth. I rummage through it until my hand finds a small, ornate box: the ring box. Pulling it out, I go to open it, but before I do, I hear a loud crash from downstairs.

Pocketing the ring box, I exit the bedroom and proceed to slowly descend the stairs. My magic flares up and I think back to all of the magic I've practice so far. I summon the magic into my eyes and proceed further down the stairs. Rounding the base of the stairs, I glance to the left and find Amanda on the floor. The glow is faint, but still there, she must still be alive, but who did this? I try to imitate the pulse of energy like Amanda did, but it doesn't work; I'll have to try that later.

From the corner of the kitchen, a shadow appears, seemingly out of thin air. He has the same powers as John, that must mean he's a healer and cloaker. Gazing into his eyes, I see nothing but a dark red fire, it causes me to flinch briefly; it is a bad energy. I think back to my dream and know exactly what to do.

Planting my feet firmly in the floor, I position myself for a full frontal attack. Flicking my feet forward, I quickly shorten the gap between myself and the man. Extending my arm, my fist immediately connects to his face causing him to stumble backwards. Standing up, the figure addresses me: "It seems someone already learned how to use their powers, good, that means training you will be easier. I represent a group..."

I interrupt him, "I know who you are and who you work for, you've made a mistake coming here." Laughing, the man speaks matter of fact, "It is you who made the mistake, because those that don't join us," two more men show up behind me, "must die."

My instincts of survival immediately kick in causing my powers to flare even hotter. I have to take out the healer first. Thrusting forward, I connect another fist to the first man's face again, causing him to stumble once more. Then, turning around, I fling my foot around to one of the other men who tried to attack me from behind. I send a burst of energy into my leg and cause the man to slam against the adjacent wall and fall to the ground. Planting my foot down once again, the first man had gained his composure and proceeded to thrust me forward into the third man allowing him to grab me. I struggle at first, on his grip as it tightens, it appears that he has enhanced strength, let's test that strength, shall we? Keeping focus on my power, I push into my chest and arms. Taking in a large breath, extending my chest out and increasing the output of my muscles in my arms, I manage to break free from his grip with relative ease.

Pathetic.

With his arms now to his sides and face in full confusion, I brace my neck with power and slam my head directly into his, causing him to collapse to the ground. I turn my body slowly to the first man I encountered and he proceeds to clap. "Well done, it seems you are putting up quite the fight after all. I'm sure they will LOVE to know about this."

No. They won't, because they won't find out.

I spar with the man briefly, as we exchange a number of punches on each other. Eventually I gain the upper hand and manage to place his neck into a hold. His power flares under my grip, but it is far too late for him. The rage and thoughts of revenge bubbled to the forefront of my mind. Are you responsible for the death of my wife and child. Choking he states, "No...*cough* I'm not...I...*cough* am not responsible. Please. *cough* don't..." I tighten my grip around his neck and feel the bones grind as his larynx closes tightly.

"Stop, don't kill him"

Amanda has stood up and urges me, "don't kill him, he isn't responsible." My power flares once more as my grip tightens further, "No, but he is part of the problem, he may not be personally responsible, but if he works for them, he has surely killed others. He isn't innocent, I don't care what happens, I will get my revenge."

Amanda, speaking softly, "But does he deserve this? Will you be any better than they are if you take his life?"

Will I be any better?

Do I care?

Nothing matters anyway, I have nothing.

I surge my arm with power and tighten my grip as I feel every part of his neck crush and the dark red energy I once saw shifting and moving as he struggled to release my grip fades into nothing.

I will destroy them all. Glancing down at the other two men, I notice their same light fade as well.

Amanda gasps.

"What, what do you care? Just leave me alone." With that, I leave my house, and walk away with no real aim or direction. I pick up my foot to kick a rock on the sidewalk and see what Amanda must have been so afraid of...my magic aura, which at first shone with a bright white light, has now changed to a deep, black cloud.