My Dearly Departed

"We should talk about what happened last time, I am sorry for what I said. I was just so hurt and angry." said Dana, a sorry look on her face.

Kai looked down, sighing heavily and when he looked back up, he walked over to the coffee table, picking up the long golden envelope.

"There is no need, I've come for this." Kai said as strongly as he could as he turned to Dana.

The tears that had swelled in Dana's eyes finally streamed down her face, as she couldn't hold them back anymore. "So that's it? You've made a decision? It doesn't have to be this! I still love you!" Dana pleaded, her voice shaky.

Tear's in Kai's eyes swelled as well, "I love you too, but there's someone else I really care about and I don't want to lose him.", Kai said as calmly as he could. As he spoke, tears streamed down Dana's face, she was doing her best to fight her face from balling up. Kai cleared his throat as he felt a lump, "I'll be going back to work soon and I also have a side project, so I'll have enough money to do whatever I can to make you comfortable or if you want to move back to the east coast I can do that as well."

Dana's body began to shake as she cried, leaning forward she began to wail, she could no longer hold back anything she was feeling. The tears in Kai's eyes finally streamed down his face as he watched, it was all his fault things ended up like this. Kai rushed forward, dropping the golden envelope and pulled Dana close to him as he hugged her.

"Get off!" Dana cried as she fought him at first, before finally giving into his hug.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Kai whispered into Dana's ear as she cried loudly. "I'm sorry for ever coming into your life and making things difficult. If I could take it all back, I would. You deserve more than I could've ever given you, I'm so sorry!" said Kai, his voice shaky as he cried.

The two of them stayed hugging for a while before Dana let go of Kai, she wiped her eyes and turned away from Kai. "I'd like to go back home.", she finally said.

"Of course, whatever you want." said Kai shaking his head, him exhaling heavily and wiping his face. "Is there anything I can do for you right now?" said Kai, nothing but the heavy weight of guilt in his heart.

"Just go." Dana said softly, "Just go."

"Okay." said Kai, tears streaming down his face, as he nodded. Kai picked up the long golden envelope and turned to leave the apartment. He got into his car and cried, staying there for a long while before finally pulling off.

Five o'clock had come and Jinn was on his way home. His heart had felt heavy all day as he hated leaving Kai on a bad note. He unlocked the door to a dark apartment and sighed flicking on the light to see Kai sitting in the dark. Kai squinted as the light came on, his eyes red and face still wet as he had been crying. Jinn sighed once more, walking over and sat down next to Kai. Rubbing his hands through Kai's hair one time, before he spoke, "I'm sorry I was like that this morning."

Kai sniffled a few times, not saying anything, "….."

Jinn stared at Kai, feeling bad, and looked away. "I know I can be a bit of a handful, it's just that I don't want to lose you."

Kai sniffled again and turned to Jinn, "I'm here with you, aren't I? Where will I go?" said Kai, his voice shaky.

Jinn turned back to Kai, "You weren't able to answer my question, should I not worry?"

"How could I not love her? She was my first everything, I wish you'd understand that." Said Kai, still sniffling.

"You want me to understand that? You told me you love me Kai, did you mean that?!" said Jinn jumping up out of his seat.

Kai looked up at Jinn and could see that he was angered by what he just said, "It's complicated."

Jinn through up his arms up, almost as if he was giving up, "I can't with you right now!" said Jinn raising his voice and walking away to the bedroom, but Kai jumped up and followed him.

"All I can do is be honest with you!" Kai yelled, but Jinn kept walking. "You wanted me to choose you, well I have! I've signed the divorce papers and turned them in! Will that finally make you believe that I'm with you because I want to be?"

Jinn suddenly stopped walking and spun around, disbelief on his face. He slowly walked back down the hall over to Kai, "You...you what?"

Tears streamed down Kai's face, "I was with her for seven years and married for four, I will always have love for her, but it's you that I want to be with." said Kai.

Jinn's hands began to shake as he slowly raised his arms, suddenly pulling Kai close to him. As much as it hurt to see Kai in shambles, he was finally relieved to know that Kai hadn't planned on leaving him to go back with Dana.

The two hugged for a while before the two went into the bedroom so Jinn could change out of his work clothes while Kai sat on the bed. Kai watched as Jinn's perfectly thin, yet muscularly chiseled body shown in all its glory.

"So what will happen next?" Jinn suddenly asked bringing Kai back to reality.

"Well, she wants to go back home to the east coast, so I'm gonna send her back and help her get set up when she gets there."

Jinn put on a t-shirt and sat down on the bed next to Kai, "I truly am sorry If I forced this on you."

Kai shook his head, "it needed to be done, I've been putting it off long enough." Jinn rubbed Kai's head, pulling him close and kissed him on the forehead.

A few more weeks had passed, Kai and Dana hadn't communicated much, they only texted a few times so that Kai could let Dana know about her flight itinerary today. Kai pulled a black t-shirt over his head, puffing out his cheeks and let the air out slowly. Jinn stared at Kai as he got dressed, feeling a little guilty and worried all at the same time. Kai had volunteered to take Dana to the airport himself and that also meant he would be going back to his own apartment soon. This was what Jinn wanted so why did he feel badly about it the whole situation? Kai smoothed his hair into a sloppy bun and turned around to see Jinn staring at him.

"Well I'm gonna head out. I'm not gonna stay, so I'll be back soon." Said Kai as he walked over and kissed Jinn.

"You can stay if you like Kai.", said Jinn. To him it felt like Kai was still trying to prove to Jinn that he was important to him whenever it came to Dana, but this right now didn't matter. Kai would be saying goodbye to the woman he had spent years with so this wouldn't be so easy.

"There's no need, I'll see her off and then I'll be home." said Kai, turning to leave, Jinn sighed as he exited the bedroom, still feeling guilty for everything.

Kai hopped in his car, quickly driving to his apartment, so that he could get Dana to the airport two hours before her flight was due to depart. He skipped the steps and knocked on the door feeling nervous, he hadn't seen her in weeks since his decision to sign the divorce papers. Dana opened the door looking as pretty as always. She wore a high waisted white skirt with a pink spaghetti strap shirt, the black colorful flowered kimono Kai had brought for her and her hair in a bun. She wore ankle heeled booties and her lips painted red, she'd forever be a sight for sore eyes.

"Ready?" he said with a small smile.

Smiling as well, Dana nodded as she placed her luggage in front of the door. Kai grabbed them and turned around to head down the stairs.

"Glad to see your hand is better." Said Dana as she noticed Kai's cast was off as she followed behind him.

"Oh, yeah, still some aches here and there, but otherwise healed." said Kai as he put Dana's luggage into the trunk of his car.

Not saying anything, Dana smiled, although she was saying goodbye for good, for some reason she felt like a school-girl as she watched Kai's thin but toned arms put her things in his trunk. There would forever be something about this man that made her crazy, almost crazy enough to make her want to stay, but what purpose would that serve when he didn't want her back?

Dana and Kai hopped in the car and drove to the airport. Not much was said between the two along the way although Kai could feel Dana staring at him most of the time. They had been apart for a while, but strangely he wasn't uncomfortable with her staring, it was something he had gotten use to her doing since there time together.

"You still do that." Kai suddenly said and Dana quickly turned her head away.

"Well, it'll be the last time I get to see that face for a while, I just wanted to savor the moment." said Dana. Kai glanced at Dana for a moment and directed his attention back to the road, she always knew how to say things to get his mind racing. Not sure why, Kai felt the need to comfort Dana, so he suddenly grabbed her hand, locking with her fingers like they use to. Surprised at first, Dana looked down at Kai's hand holding her own. She then looked up at him, a serious expression on his cutely handsome face as he focused on the road even though he was lost in his thoughts. Dana knew that meant this was harder for him than she originally thought and smiled as her eyes watered, gripping his hand back.

The two held hands, driving in silence the rest of the way and soon made their way to the airport. Kai pulled up to gate B, the drop off area, letting go of Dana's hand, and putting on his blinkers. He then got out of the car, grabbing Dana's itinerary and luggage out of his trunk. When he closed his trunk, there Dana stood on the curb, and it was like he was seeing her for the first time in a long time, looking as pretty as she was when he first fell in love. Kai blinked for a minute as his heart felt heavy, he walked around his car and stood in front of her, placing her luggage on the curb beside her.

"Here's your itinerary, everything's taken care of." said Kai as he handed her the paper, not taking his eyes off of Dana. Tears streamed down Dana's face and she suddenly through her arms around Kai's neck, squeezing him tight. Surprised, Kai took a deep breath, exhaling heavily as his eyes watered.

"Thank you for everything and please, please take care of yourself." Dana whispered in Kai's ear as she held onto the man that she was still very much so in love with.

"Take care of yourself too." Kai said, his voice shaky as he squeezed Dana tight. After a few minutes, Kai and Dana let go of each other. Dana grabbed the itinerary, her luggage, gave Kai a small, but sad smile and turned around to go into the airport.

Kai lowered his head as he watched Dana go into the airport, the tears in his eyes finally falling. Although he was the one who had decided to let her go, she would be taking a little piece of him with her. When he couldn't see Dana anymore, Kai got back into his car and pulled off. He wiped away the tears streaming down as he drove, and a smile suddenly graced his face. He had permanently closed one chapter of his life, and now he could finally whole heartedly commit to the other that had been riding the tide with him for the last six months.

When Kai returned to Jinn's apartment, it was quiet. Jinn had texted him on the way home that he had to run out for a bit, so Kai flopped down on the couch and looked around. He had stayed with Jinn for nearly a month and now he would have to go back to his apartment soon, but he wasn't sure if he actually wanted to. Kai had gotten used to waking up to Jinn's handsome face every morning. Good sex, random silliness, horror movies and petty arguments had become a part of his reality that he wasn't sure if he was willing to part with just yet.