The Burning

The pain is almost unbearable when you feel alone, your aching heart caught between a knife and a wall. Either way, you turn, you're going to get hurt. But I guess that's just life.

It is a big ache that you have to bear through to survive, it isn't for the weak because the weak die. There is no happy ending to it. Even if you are nice or try your best to look out for others, that knife will still stab you hundreds of times even if you do every good deed there is to man. You have to be strong and if you are still here today, that means you are and for the fallen, they were not weak, just robbed.

Robbed of innocence, robbed of life, and taken too soon because the wound was too deep, the blood was too much and they could not recover from it. Not even with the help of the best doctor in the world, the wound was internal and external, deeper than the ocean itself, not even love could help this, not even them.

Billions of people were born onto this round or flat sphere whichever you want to see it and each will die. Some too soon, some years time, and others by their own hand. Even without a chance we are born into a pit of fire, burning until are bone and flesh are ash, seeing if any could survive the pitiful hell that each judgment and challenge puts us through. Hoping that we can find comfort in the others that were put into this game but the hard truth is knowing that none of them will be for you, not even the people who put you into this world.

The only person for you is you and if you are your worst enemy in this game then you will die quicker than expected, you will shoot yourself before the trigger is pulled. So you have to be careful how you treat yourself because it's doing all that it can.

So many people will judge you, hate you for having money, and hate you for not. They will be upset that you rolled a 3 in the dice of life while they manage to roll all 8s missing two numbers from perfect but still better than you in this case. Sometimes, it seems all rigged, like a slot machine with no money, no win, going nowhere. But if you managed to survive all that then maybe you have a chance, maybe despite all the bad and all the people, you are worth something.

In the Sea of Opportunity.

I blink back, opening my eyes for a slit second, my head hurts and my mouth tastes of iron. The strong taste makes me almost shiver as I lift my head from my bed, I think it's night-time. The mansion is quiet and my head feels fuzzy from the events that took place before, from the meeting with the Bellums to the surreal talk with my mother. The world must be ending if Bertram Bellum has my best interest and my mother, the absolute apathetic widow, wants to hear me out. Even, if it means spying for information out of my father, it still doesn't make any sense and goes completely off character. Not to mention Bertram Bellum, one minute he seems to show jealousy and completely spoiled behavior, and the next, he is acting like an ally.

His sister keeps the two-faced name, but Bertram Bellum seems even more dangerous than his sister. He doesn't seem to show his true intentions and claims to want to befriend me, to exchange letters yet we are competitors. Is this a trick of reverse psychology or does he want to stab me directly in the face instead of the back? Why pretend like you care when you can play the part of friend and gain trust? Gain insight from the false perception of comfort and slowly plant poisonous seeds.

So deadly and so unaware, that when you finally notice they're there, it's too late, you're already dead. They got what they wanted and you got an early grave.

I bite the edge of my nail, if that is the case, then he is already twelve steps ahead in this game of chess, the only option is knowing what my next move should be. Messing with someone wanting a personal connection is easy, especially when trauma is involved. All you need to do is wait until there is an opening for yourself, then you plant yourself as the 'savior', the knight to end all their wounds when they 'feel' like they can't. 

But lucky for me I believe I caught the sword early, the question being should I entertain his little plan or quickly dismiss it? He is persistent so it will be a challenge to try to call him out now, so I will have to think. Not too much of course because then he could slip the poison in while I am in thought so just a bit of time will do.

Now, to the mysterious actions my father is presenting, I tap my chin, furrowing my brows. I am going to have to look into the garden, even though I know I have a note ready for me to read, the clues only get me so far. There is clear evidence of something in the back of the garden and if I could find out what he was possibly burying. I can use it to my advantage and hopefully find out more about what Rene' was going through. I can only imagine what she has seen and heard being a victim in this mansion and put in between the cross of a gun and an axe. 

Also, while not forgotten I still need to find out about how Rene' is connected to one of my cousin's rings. Why she would have it and how she is involved with him, when I find that answer, I'm just hoping that it wouldn't be the reason why she left.