Should've Been Me

"Dad! Dad! Don't close your eyes! Please...daddy don't leave me...."I watch as the body of my former self trembles with the sobs that consume my every move. I can't even look away as my father takes his last short, shaky breath and falls limp against the steering wheel that he was leaning against.

Something wet and rough glides across my cheek, momentarily taking my attention away from the memory of the car accident. The tears that were leaking from my now puffy eyes are gone, but are soon replaced with another wave of tears. The tears are once again wiped away, but instead of a wet, rough-like surface, they are wiped away by something smooth, warm and gentle. I hear a distant whimper followed by a concerned but sharp voice. Looking over to the horrible night-mare of a memory I sigh, 'I wish you were here dad... It should have been me... It should have been me behind that steering wheel..."

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"Chica are you okay?" I open my eyes to find a concerned looking neighbor sitting on the side of my bed. Slowly I sit up, rubbing my face with my hands to clear away any of my excess tears.

"Miss Bloom? What are you doing here?" The familiar silhouette moves so that she is now sitting cross-legged on the bed, facing me.

"How many times have I told you?" she tsked, "It's Issy or Isadora to you, Miss Bloom makes me feel old, you know considering my sister in-law took my last name and is now widowed with kids" she gives a sad shrug of her shoulders. "Anyway! You haven't answered my question!" when did she ask me a question? "Are you okay?" she asks in a 'duh' kinda voice.

"Ohhhhh. Yeah, Im okay Issy. It was just a nightmare." She gives me a look that says, 'I don't believe you but i'm gonna act as though you're fine because that's what you want me to believe.' I decide to change the subject. "How did you know something was wrong anyway? You live across the street, I wasn't screaming was I?"

Isadora lets out a small laugh, effectively breaking the tension of our not-so-lost secrets. "No, don't worry you weren't screaming. Drake started barking pretty loud and ended up squeezing through the kitty door, which in turn woke me up."

At the sound of his name, Drake jumped on the bed and curled into my side. "You have a good dog there Luna, he didn't stop barking until I saw you and even then he wouldn't stop growling until he licked away your tears." Huh, so that's what wiped away my tears. Issy smiles at drake, giving him an admiring look.

"He's not just a dog to me Issy, he's my best friend. Without him, I don't think I would have stopped and just felt something other than guilt, even if it was just to help him through his sickness. I was right to adopt him Issy, I need him as much as he needs me....He's my new rock" I let out a tired sigh and look out the window with a sad expression.

"Is this about 'him'?" She gives me a worried look, as if her mentioning him will trigger me, but she doesn't know me. She doesn't know of my past. And most importantly, she is not ever going learn about my past. I don't want her to give me those pitying looks, or those accusatory glares. I've had enough of them to last a life time. Especially from 'his' parents but of course I can't blame him for it. He didn't know that his parents came to visit me at the hospital, heck I wouldn't be surprised if they told him I died in that car crash, he wouldn't even know that they were lying considering the car crash went all over the national news and I had supposedly "Gone missing".

I miss my old self.

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"Here's your Caramel Latte with a side of my number." The cashier winks in my direction and I have to restrain myself from throwing up right then and there. I give him a 'Flirty smile' and walk out of the café.

That was creative but cringey, there is no way that I'm gonna call him. I take the receipt that has his phone number on it and dump it in the nearby trash can.

I am cut off from my thoughts by my phone ringing.

Corythebestestbestieever😈

Nope. Not answering him. He has a habit of ruining my days just by the sound of his voice.

*DECLINE*

Aaahhh, finally some piece and quiet...

Spoke too soon.

Lena Feu^-^

Hmmm how about no? Her voice is just as annoying as Cory's in the morning, well only because she lectures me about drinking coffee.

*DECLINE*

Lets just hope tha-

Stitch ;*

Seriously?! Well.... I cant ignore his calls now can I?

*ACCEPT*

"So you can answer NATHAN'S cell and NOT MINE??!!!!" Ouch.... I hold the phone away from my ear as she begins to lecture me yet again. Wanna guess who it is? I'll give you a clue. She's short, hot-headed and likes to pull my long wavy locks when she doesn't get her way..... you guessed it.....

"LENA!!! Calm down!"

"Calm down?" Hmm she sounds calm, good sign? Nope. "CALM DOWN?! YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN WHEN YOU HAVE DITCHED US FOR THE LAST MONTH OF SCHOOL WITH THE ONLY EXPLANATION OF 'Sorry guys but I've got something important to do so I wont be here for the next month. I'll be back to school in four weeks.' YOU LEFT US TO DO THIS ASSESSMENT ALONE!! ITS DUE TODAY AND YOU AREN'T EVEN AT SCHOOL --like you promised to be might i add-- SO DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!!!" I hear her catching her breath at the end of the line.

"Lena, look I'm not ditching you guys today."

"Really? Well it sure looks like it." Wow...When did she get so sarcastic?

"Lena, I'm coming don't worry. Plus school doesn't start for another half an hour, why would you think I would be at school before hand?" A huff is heard, she's getting impatient. I'm about to reassure her that I definitely will be there with my part of the project done when the line dies.

Guess I'll have to get to school early then....

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"I cant believe she actually ditched us!" Nice to see that she has so much faith in me.

"She hasn't ditched us Lena"

"She has! Do you see her here Cory?" Cory drops his head into his hands and lets out a frustrated huff, "Thats what I thought, she thinks were not good enough for her."

"What makes you think that?"

"Uh I dont know. Was it the fact that she has been away for the last month and didn't trust us enough to tell us whats going on? Or was it the fact that we know shes keeping a secret from us but every time we confront her or even say that she can tell us anything she turns around and gets angry at us for dipping into her business!!!"

I stay quiet and continue to watch Lena rant about how secretive and untrustworthy I am, and to think I helped her deal with Cory's bullying Shes drawing attention to herself, if I don't step in now she will most likely get a slap in the face. Not from me, I promise. I'm talking about Nathan. Hes standing there clenching and unclenching his fists, sending unknown glares to Lena and looking as if hes about to blow up.

"DON'T TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THA-"

"Thats enough Nathaniel." I step out from the shadows. "I can defend myself."

"Ah, guess who decided to finally show up."

"Lena, quit it. I told you I would be here today, and i'm here so give me a break."

She snorts, "Give you a break. You want me to give you a break?! We haven't even finished the assessment and you want me to give you a break?!"

I smirk, "You haven't finished the assessment? Wow, even I finished my bit of the assessment and I've been away for the whole month." By the time I had finished my statement she practically had steam bursting from her ears. I don't think shes happy.

"Yeah well-.uh.. "Lena fumbles for something to say.

"Luna, leave her alone." Nathaniel? Wasn't he just defending me? Is something going here? What the heck did I miss?

Giving him a quick glare I walk away, only to be pulled back into a warm chest. "I'm sorry princess, I should have been on your side." He mumbles into my hair. I let out a huff—something everyone seems to be doing these days—and elbow his stomach, there is no way that I am going to give into him.