Thoughts

Thoughts never really leave you alone, do they?

I just laid there, thinking about everything. Well now I should focus on the fest more. What'll mom say I thought. I don't know.

Mom came home around 6pm. I thought I should ask her when she'll be having some food.

I went out and sat at the table waiting for her to get cleaned and change clothes. After half an hour she came at the table with her food.

She was eating and I was just sitting there. I don't know why I hesitated, well I thought maybe she'll say exams are coming up and everything.

I just sat there drinking a glass of water and scrolling through Instagram. I kept on thinking about what should I say, what would she reply.

"Hey ma. There's this English Fest coming up you know?" I finally asked her about it.

She looked at me, "Yeah. I've heard."

She kept on eating. Well I thought I should just ask.

"So I was wondering if I can participate. Our school will take us to the school where the competitions will happen." I didn't look at her. I was just looking at my phone.

"When's your exam?" She asked me while eating.

"Umm after two weeks. And well it's just a test." I knew she'd ask about exams. Hate it.

"Well I don't know. You say if you can keep up with the fest and school." She stood up with her plate in her hands and went to the kitchen to wash.

I came to my room and thought I should text Ray about what my mom said.

Me: Hey, did you talk about the fest with your mother?

Well he wasn't online so I kept the phone aside. I wanted to lay down but after hearing what ma said I thought it's better not to.

I went to my study table and put down the books. I really didn't feel like studying though. But well I flipped through some books until it became dinner time.

Dinner was normal. I mean what could have happened. Me and Sara watched the TV for sometime but I came to my room.

I scrolled through Instagram. Nothing fancy and it got late. Everyone fall asleep. I don't know why I stay up too late. Insomnia? Don't know.

I was still scrolling through Instagram and then unknowingly I just went to the messenger to check back on our texts.

The lasts texts are stupid.

Miles: Please come back. I love you. I didn't mean to do this.

I didn't reply to that. I thought I didn't even block him, why? Why I didn't block him from everywhere?

I thought about the posts that he posted. I went to check and the posts were still there.

What the hell. That was my first reaction. I immediately texted him.

Me: Delete all the posts!

He was online but didn't even see my text. But well Ray replied.

Ray: Yeah, it took a lot of effort but I managed her. I'm all good.

Me: Yeah, my mom said do what you want. Why is she like this uhhh!

We talked for a while.

Me: You know Miles didn't even deleted the posts. I texted him to delete the posts but he isn't replying.

Ray: Asshole. Text him again. Do you know his password though? If you have you can delete them yourselves.

I thought yeah, why didn't I think of this earlier. But it kinda felt, I kinda felt uneasy. So I texted him again.

Miles: Why? Why can't I keep the posts?

Me: What do you mean why? It's stupid to keep this. You delete or I delete.

Miles: Okay, okay I'm deleting.

Well, I waited for him to delete and he did. So I texted Ray again.

Me: He deleted the post. I didn't even think about the posts until now. I'm crazy.

Ray: It's been like a month. Where do you live??

Me: Yeah okay. Don't need to make me feel bad. I should sleep.

Ray: Yeah goodnight. Come to school early tomorrow let's talk about the fest.

Me: Yeah okay okay.

I plugged in my earphones and played some songs and tried to sleep. But well I can't. Because I don't know why.

I just kept turning left and right. Then I paused the song. I sat up. Every night's like this. Stupid, my mind filled with thoughts.

Yeah, not random thoughts but the past. Does it haunt me? I don't know. I guess it does. It's just, it feels really scary. It hurts, a lot.

It's been a month but he didn't spread the video though. Was I worried about nothing then? Well I can't say for sure. He has the upper hand, everywhere.

I tried to sleep but whenever I close my eyes, I'll just see people talking about me in school. Something happened, something bad.

I just can't sleep but I still kept my eyes closed until I fell asleep.

I woke up early because I set my alarm early. And did my usual stuff and went to school. I usually walk to my school but when I don't feel like it I take the bus.

When I reached my class I saw Ray already there. I thought he'd early, he was never this early before.

"Hey you're early!" I shouted from the door.

He looked at me. He was reading something. "Oh yeah. I told you to be here early that's why."

"What you reading?" I put my bag on my table and sat.

"Well I got this interesting manga." He showed me the book.

"It's Japanese right?" I sipped some water.

I knew he liked anime. He'd always talk about it.

"Yeah. It's about martial arts and you know how much I love martial arts!" He stood up and started throwing some random punches.

I laughed. "So what will you participate in?" I asked him.

He sat down. "Well I don't know. We'll get picked today and maybe Ms Rosela will explain."

I nodded. He asked, "Hey do you know how to play cards?"

I was caught of guards, cards? Like UNO and stuffs?

"UNO? I know how to play UNO." I replied still being confused.

Students started coming in. They'd come and go to their places. Rachel came after some time.

"Yeah, UNO is okay. Bring that someday we'll play!" He was really excited. I don't know if he played before or not.

"Hey Rachel!" I patted her back. "Are you coming to the fest?"

She looked quite gloomy. "No. My mom said I need to study more. I can't."

"Oh, okay. It's okay don't worry." I replied, awkardly. Don't know what to tell actually.

The class started and Ms Rosela came in. Many students didn't want to participate so there wasn't any skill tests.

Me, Ray, Robbie, Stephan and Nate were the only one from our class. Ms Rosela told us to go to the hall room of our school.

I was walking with Ray and Stephan joined in. We went to the room. Nothing funny happened.