Chapter 2: Her Presence

Hale awoke with a start and checked his clock. It was 5 AM, nearly 2 hours before he had to be awake but he knew that he was not going to get anymore sleep so he pulled the covers off and swung his legs off the side of the bed. Taking a deep breath, he combed his fingers through his hair and hung his head between his knees. Standing up groggily, Hale walked to the bathroom which connected his room to his brother Michael's. He unconsciously noted that Michael was not in his bed and wondered halfheartedly if he had made it home last night. If not, this would not be alarming as Michael had made it a habit of coming home whenever, and doing just as he pleased ever since he turned 18, to the horror of their mother. Hale splashed cold water on his face and then headed downstairs to make breakfast. It was that time of day when every creak of the house is ten times louder than normal and every light coming in is twenty times brighter, so Hale had to tread lightly so as not to wake his mother or father prematurely. Hale opened the fridge and squinted harshly at the bright light that met his still tired eyes. Rubbing his eyes gently, Hale pulled out a single carton of eggs and turned the stove on. Hale had done this very routine so often in the morning that he could simply turn on autopilot for his body while his mind continued to sleep. This contented automatic morning routine was interrupted, however, with the arrival of his brother. As Michael walked in, he gave no thought to noise control and so Hale's first indication that anyone else might be in the room with him was the careless slamming of the back door. Hale jumped, picked up an egg and turned quickly around to face the intruder. Upon seeing his little brother, Hale relaxed and quickly put the egg back in the carton.

"Woah man," Michael chuckled, "Don't egg me, bro."

Hale let out a breath and rubbed his tired eyes, "Are you just getting in?"

Hopping up to sit on the counter, Michael responded, smiling. "Maybe." Michael grabbed a pear from the bowl of fruit their mother kept on the counter and took a bite of it as he asked "Is that how you plan on defending yourself against intruders?"

"What?" Asked Hale, cracking an egg open into a bowl.

"If someone actually broke in, you'd be dead." said Michael.

"Well, luckily it was just my delinquent little brother."

Not paying attention, Michael continued. "No, wait, I'm sorry, you would pray away the intruder, right? And all that seminary training you've had would finally pay off."

"It doesn't work like that, believe me." Hale responded.

"How do you know?" Michael asked tauntingly.

"Because I've been trying to pray you away my entire life, that's why." Hale answered with a smile.

Michael threw the rest of his pear at Hale, "Shut up."

"You want an egg?" asked Hale, knowing that this would probably be his brother's last meal once their mother caught him.

"Nah, I gotta crash before mom wakes up." responded Michael, jumping off the counter.

"With all the noise you made? She's already awake and planning your demise."

Michael groaned in response. "Yeah, probably."

Placing his finished egg on a plate and sliding it over to Michael he asked delicately. "Where were you, Michael?"

"Weird, that doesn't sound like your business." Michael said, rolling his obviously red and tired eyes.

With a sigh, Hale cracked another egg and began to fry it. "Mom worries."

"She doesn't need to. I'm fine." Michael grumbled, taking a bite of his fried egg.

"Yeah, you seem fine." Hale said under his breath.

Mouth full, Michael snarkily replied, "I get it man, you're my big brother and you're 'looking out for me' and shit, but I cannot stress how much I DO NOT want or need it. Thanks." Finishing the egg, Michael got down from the counter and started toward the staircase.

Before he had taken a step, however, Hale called after him. "Michael, are you high?"

Michael turned to face Hale with a frown, sighed and said, "Screw you." Before heading upstairs.

Hale hadn't honestly expected Michael to respond but Hale was never very good at ignoring the elephant in the room. He never knew what to say to Michael anymore or how to help with...whatever he was going through. Even worse, he didn't know what to tell other people when they asked about him. He was always out late, and he never talked about where he was, what he had been doing, or who he had been doing it with. All he or his family were left with was horrible, yet never denied assumptions. When asked by a member of their church, their mother always said that Michael was going to community college. This was only half true, Michael was signed up for community college, but he rarely attended. Michael barely graduated from High School.

Hale remembered when Michael stopped wanting to be a Christian. There was chaos in their household. Hale had just begun to attend seminary and the two brothers got into arguments, theological and otherwise, that would shake the foundations of any family, let alone a pastor's family. Michael was 16 and still didn't really have any control over his life, so he was not allowed to miss church, but bringing him became more of a punishment for their parents than for Michael when he started "bringing friends" to church with him. Usually this is encouraged and for that very reason, Pastor and Mrs. Reyes could not refuse to allow him to bring unbelieving friends to their church, except for the sick feeling they got every week when he did. Because he was the Pastor's son, Michael's youth pastor was put into a tough position. Michael's behavior was unacceptable and his friends only made it worse so, inevitably, the youth pastor had to have a meeting with Pastor Reyes. Very delicately, the youth pastor discussed Michael's behavior and suggested oh so gently that it may be best for everyone involved if Michael stopped attending the youth group. That night, Hale remembers that Michael and his parents spent several hours in Pastor Reyes's office arguing in hushed tones and when they left, no one said a word, but Michael never came to church again. The brothers' relationship was never very close, but after that day, it became nearly non-existent.

"Did he tell you where he's been all night?" Hale was jarred from his thoughts by his mother's sudden appearance in the kitchen.

"No, sorry, Mom." Hale said with a sympathetic look. "Eggs?"

Nodding her head, Mrs. Reyes, pulled her robe tighter around her body. "Thank you sweetheart, I don't feel much like cooking this morning." Then she approached Hale and kissed his cheek affectionately, "My wonderful son," she said softly as if to herself. Hale never knew how to respond when she praised him in contrast to Michael. Not a true compliment, but a snub toward Michael. Hale never doubted how much his mother loved Michael, that's why she got so upset about him, but he sometimes wondered if Michael doubted it, and if he had good reason to. Hale felt bad for his mother, and was glad she had him to take care of her.

Suddenly, as he was making breakfast for his mother, he wondered if he should ask her about his dream. He had barely spent any time thinking about it himself, but before he could stop himself, he blurted, "Hey mom," but he stopped himself. What would he even say? 'Hey Mom, Did you ever dream about other men before you married Dad'? No, that wouldn't go over too well. It was probably nothing and he should pray against lustful thoughts tonight before bed. "Um," Hale cleared his throat, getting nervous after seeing his mother's expectant look. "How many eggs do you want?" She smiled, and he continued to be her wonderful son.

His father came down shortly after and joined them both for breakfast. Hale began to drift off into a daydream, he allowed himself, just for a moment, to think about the brunette woman from his dream. Have you ever dreamt that you were married? Maybe you never saw their face, or maybe you dreamed it was someone very specific, but in any case, when you wake up it's very disorienting and you're left feeling...incomplete.

'It felt so real.' Hale thought to himself.

"Is that alright with you, kiddo?" Hale looked up quickly from his plate of eggs and must have made a rather ridiculous look, because his father laughed at him immediately.

Hale smiled, embarrassed at his absent-mindedness, "Sorry Dad, I missed that."

"Yes, that much was clear." His father chuckled. "Maybe you should get some more sleep, son. You were way off in space there for a second."

'Could I tell my dad about it?' Hale wondered. Before he could do so, however, his father cut off his train thought.

"I just wanted to know if you could stop by this afternoon and do some work for my office for a while. There's some things I'd like you to get wrapped up before you head back to school." Hale had worked in his father's office on and off since freshman year of High School. It wasn't very rewarding or even entertaining work, he just answered phones, set up conferences and occasionally went with his father to the soup kitchen or old folks home to volunteer on holidays. That last part was mostly because he was a P.K., and not so much because of his job at the office, but it certainly felt like a job when he did it, but he would never let his father know that. When Hale was at school, however, his position had to be filled by someone and it usually ended up being one of his younger cousins, or the oldest church lady he could find, there never seemed to be an in between.

"Is it that time again?" Hale asked, with a lighthearted sigh.

"I guess it is." His father replied, "Who will it be this time? Bryan? I heard he's been working at Subway this summer, he's in a good head space for work. Hmmm, or you could pick Mrs. Dougherty, her husband passed away at the beginning of the year and I've heard she could use some busywork and some company."

"I guess I'll have to call around and see." Hale said, confirming his plans to work in the office.

His Dad smiled brightly. "Great, we can head out after this then."

In the middle of the day, after making many phone calls and receiving just as many polite declinations, he sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair as far as it would go. Before he knew it he began to drift slowly off.

There she is.

She was standing in a wedding dress, holding a bouquet of roses, her veil covering her face. Hale stood at the end of the aisle, waiting for her to reach him. His heart leapt, but this time it felt more like panic than love. Perhaps it was both. What is happening? Hale sat up so straight and so suddenly that he nearly fell out of his chair. He looked around and slowly took in his surroundings, and, realizing he was back in the safety of his father's office, he sighed heavily and rubbed his tired eyes. Embarrassed, Hale prayed throughout the day that God would forgive him. He wasn't sure exactly what he was asking forgiveness for, only that it seemed to be wrong to be thinking of another woman besides Grace even if she wasn't real. After a few quick prayers, he decided he needed to talk to Grace right then and there. Picking up the office phone, he dialed her number and hoped she wasn't busy.

After 3 short rings, he heard her voice. "Hello?"

"Grace!" Hale said, a little too loudly.

Grace giggled, "Hi Honey. How's your day?"

Hale visibly relaxed and leaned back in his chair, trying to dwell on how sweet her voice sounded. "Great, it's been great."

There was a noticeable pause. "What's up, hon?" asked Grace.

Hale suddenly realized he didn't have a reason for calling her. "Um" a sigh, "honestly, I just really needed to hear your voice."

"Aw, honey that's so sweet. I love you." she said.

"I love you too." Hale responded a little too quickly. "So, so much."

Another noticeable pause. "Is everything ok?" Grace asked "Do you want me to drop off some lunch by the office?"

Hale smiled, "Yeah, actually that would be great, see you soon?"

"Can't wait." another giggle, "See you soon."

Hale smiled as he hung up the phone. This weird dream was just that, a dream, and a moment of weakness from the mind of a sinful young man. Once Grace arrived, he would stop thinking about it, be reminded of how much he loves Grace and everything would be right with the world. He even thought briefly about telling it to her, mauve it would bring them closer if he was vulnerable with her like that, but decided he would just wait for the dreams to go away.

When Grace arrived they had lunch together in the office and Hale felt a weight lift off his chest as his thoughts were drowned out by Grace's lilting voice and melodic laugh.

"I'm glad you called," she said, "I was up so late last night I was being absolutely useless around the house this morning and needed an opportunity to get out." She giggled.

He didn't say a word, just took in the features of her face and listened to her voice as she regaled him with details of her morning and interactions with her mother and sisters. This was something Hale loved about Grace the most, she never required him to speak, she could carry on the whole conversation alone and it still felt like they had bonded. She spoke for so long she gave Hale a chance to empty his cacophonous mind and to understand again how he felt about her and why.

When she got up to leave, he held her hand and walked her to her car. "This is just what I needed, thank you."

"No problem, my pleasure." Grace smiled widely and leaned in for an affectionate hug. When she pulled away, however, Hale grabbed her hand and attempted to recreate the kiss from his dream with the right girl this time. What ended up happening, however, was that he tugged her hand a bit too hard and leaned in so quickly that they ended up colliding nose to nose. There was a painful groan from both parties and then a good humored chuckle from Grace.

"I'm sorry, that was supposed to be romantic." Hale said rubbing his nose, embarrassed.

Grace took the hand that was on his nose in hers and then stood on her tip toes and kissed his nose gently. "We'll work on it." and then kissed his lips. "We've got time." and then she got in her car and drove away. Hale spent the rest of the day thinking about how embarrassed he was, but at least he wasn't thinking about that brunette.