Chapter 3: School

For the next few weeks, the couple tried to prepare for the familiar strain of being away from each other for months on end the way they had been for the past few semesters. When it came time for Hale to leave, it was bittersweet. There were many congratulations thrown around as well as tearful goodbyes but Hale and Grace were happy because Hale was getting ready to fulfill the next step to their dream: becoming a pastor like his father. Both Mr. Reyes and Mr. Hastings expressed their pride in him.

This departure felt different in a way Hale couldn't quite nail down. Usually terribly nauseous on planes, Hale considered that flight to be the best one yet. He tried to sleep, but he thought he had better not, considering the contents of his dreams lately. Over the last few weeks, while packing and spending as much time with Grace as possible, everytime he closed his eyes he saw the brunette. Even Michael had asked if something was up with him and Grace because of how much time he had spent with her lately. Hale attributed it to their recent exchange of promise rings and Michael had simply rolled his eyes feigned throwing up.

He stayed up for the whole six hour flight and listened to a podcast his dad had recommended about preparing for marriage. Supposedly Grace was listening to the same podcast and it would give them something to talk about on the phone. The flight landed and the captain announced the local time in Virginia. There was a 3 hour time difference between his school and home so he made a mental note to call Grace before bed tonight as he made his way down the ramp toward baggage claim. He quickly got a taxi to the school and arrived within an hour of landing. It was past dinner time when he arrived but luckily he thought his roommate, Jordan, had probably saved him something to eat. Jordan had already been there for a day and had nearly all his things set up.

Jordan had been Hale's roommate since freshman year and was pursuing a career as a missionary in Africa.

"Hey, brother! How was your summer?" Jordan exclaimed, wrapping Hale in a big bear hug. Jordan was shorter than Hale but it always seemed like he was trying to pick Hale up and throw him over his shoulder when he hugged him like this. All Hale could manage in response was a heavy "Oof" and a gentle tug away from his affectionate roommate. This reaction received a hearty laugh from Jordan, "Still haven't learned to love, have you?"

"What does that mean?" Hale asked with faux indignation. "Last time I checked it was me who had a long-term girlfriend."

"Yeah, but we're brothers! Like David and Jonathan levels of brotherhood at this point." Jordan announced as Hale turned around and started to unpack his things.

"Oh, are we?" Hale asked, amused.

"Don't be afraid of my love, brother." Jordan said, teasing.

"You know I wasn't raised charismatic. Now would you let me unpack, please?" Hale asked, giving Jordan who was now smiling mischievously, a pointed look.

"Kiss me, brother." Jordan said. Jordan had always enjoyed making Hale uncomfortable because of their different church backgrounds. Jordan came from a church that encouraged dancing and speaking in tongues while Hale's church barely raised their hands during worship unless it was "Reckless Love." When they first met, Jordan had been listening to worship music and dancing while unpacking and Hale had felt immediate anxiety about how the semester was going to go. Hale did his best to ignore Jordan's eccentricities but the more Hale resisted the more Jordan tried to involve him.

"Worship should make you, feel something, brother!" Jordan told him, but Hale just couldn't get over the feeling of awkwardness that came with raising your hands during worship. What if someone saw him and he looked ridiculous? What if he started to cry? Jordan was always crying during worship and it never failed to make Hale uncomfortable. Before he met Jordan, the only people he ever saw cry during worship were old ladies and that had always made Hale uneasy growing up. Jordan learned in their second semester not to force Hale into anything, but to let him come to you. They went on a short mission trip to some inner city places close to the school and Jordan was impressed with Hale's ability to connect and show love to people in his own, gentle, uncharismatic way and from that day on they two had been good friends. He still enjoyed making Hale uncomfortable, but only because he made it so easy.

Hale gave Jordan an exasperated look and said, "Either sit there and behave or come help me unpack, would you?"

Jordan laughed and conceded, "Alright, alright, I suppose you wouldn't want me to be your first kiss, anyway."

This comment made Hale hesitate. Jordan already knew about Grace, but a first kiss was something intimate that Hale wasn't sure he should mention. But Jordan was right, they had gotten close last semester and this is something brothers would talk about, right? This was something he could only speculate on. He hadn't spoken to Michael about it, but in the hypothetical scenario in which he and Michael had a good relationship then he supposed he would have. Hale ultimately decided against telling Jordan about the kiss not because of modesty or proprietary but because Jordan would tease him mercilessly and make a big fuss.

"Yeah, we're not that close yet." Hale mumbled. Then he heard a loud gasp and dropped the clothes he was about to put in his drawer.

"You've kissed a girl, mate." Jordan stated matter-of-factly and Hale rolled his eyes, confirming Jordan's suspicions. Another gasp followed along with another bear hug. "You've become a man, brother! Tell me everything!" Hale gave up at this point and sat down on his sheetless mattress.

"Well, I told you about Grace, right?"

"Pretty blond girl, long time girlfriend, yeah?" Jordan asked, receiving an affirmative nod from Hale.

"Yeah, so, over the summer, I was talking to my dad about it and he asked if I was going to marry her." Hale was cut off suddenly.

"You asked her to marry you?!" Jordan exclaimed.

"No, not exactly." Hale responded, with a chuckle. "We've been together for two years and we're 20 now. I know a lot of christians who didn't wait this long to think about marriage, But I have another whole year of school so I thought I would make a promise of engagement and wait another year to really get engaged."

"You can wait as long as you want, brother. You know what Paul says, and I happen to agree with the man." Jordan responded confidently, referencing Saint Paul's partiality toward singleness.

"Yes, I know. But I don't want to be single, I'm just trying to be practical. I have never been more sure about anything than I am about marrying Grace, Jordy. She's...she's perfect." Jordan beamed and slapped Hale on the back.

"So then you kissed her!" Jordan said, causing Hale to blush.

"Yeah I did, and she kissed back and it was everything I dreamed it could be."

"Why even bother proposing at this point? Sounds like nothing could top this." Jordan teased.

"No, no, Grace deserves a diamond that I can't afford right now." Hale said wistfully.

"Oh yeah, I bet you have the whole thing planned out, don't you? Good ole Hale, where's the spontaneity?" Jordan asked.

"Spontaneity is overrated, girls like to know their man has made a plan. A plan helps me feel some sense of control in the chaos, too and a promise ring helps me do that." Hale said nonchalantly.

"Ooh that's cold, brother." Jordan said with some surprise.

"No it's not," Hale retorted, "I don't have to worry if she'll say yes now or not."

"Well that's boring." Jordan groaned.

"I didn't know you had such strong opinions on the matter of proposals, considering your own plans to stay single forever." Hale got back up and started to lay his sheets out while Jordan took his place on his own bed.

"I may never get married myself, but I like the thrill of grand romantic gestures just like the next guy. Knowing she's gonna say yes just seems to take the excitement out of it already. You should have at least another 2-3 years of excitement in your relationship but you just have the whole thing planned out. There's no anticipation, no 'will she or won't she?'" Jordan added in a disappointed tone.

"Well, I happen to think it's exciting to know she'll say yes." Hale stated in a matter of fact tone. There was a short period of silence which Hale took advantage of in order to get his side of the room organized.

"When did you know she was the one, brother?" Jordan asks suddenly, looking pensively at the ceiling.

"I'm not sure exactly. I suppose I've always known somehow." Hale responds, "Although, knowing she would like to be the one hasn't hindered my confidence on the subject any." Hale adds with a knowing smile.

"And you are confident?" The question is so sincere that it causes Hale to hesitate.

"Of course I am," Hale says before the hesitation can fully dissipate.

A serious look crossed Jordan's face, making Hale feel uneasy. With a somber nod, Jordan looked back at Hale with a smile, "Good for you, brother."

Of course Hale was confident. Everything was going smoothly, Grace was promised to him; had always, it seemed, been promised to him and all he had to do now was ask and she would be his forever. He continued to think about it as he finished what he could on his side of the room in silence, noting absentmindedly that Jordan had begun snoring softly. Once finished, Hale took his phone out and decided to call Grace to let her know he had gotten there safely. He stepped outside the dorm room quietly, went to his 'Recent Calls' list and picked out her number. She was one of the only people he spoke to on the phone regularly simply because he didn't particularly enjoy speaking on the phone. The phone rang 1...2...3 times and he still didn't get an answer so he did some quick math in his head. It was nearly one in the morning where he was, which meant that it was only about 10pm at home. He supposed she could be going to bed at this time, but lately she had been staying up late helping her mother with planning the back to school events for every grade in their church. They wanted to put together donations from the parents for each individual student and apparently it was very time consuming and didn't allow her to get to bed until rather late. The phone continued to ring and then went suddenly to her voice mail

'Hi there, this is Grace. I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the phone but If you leave a message I will get back to you as soon as I can. Have a blessed day!' There was a high pitched beep which prompted Hale to leave a message.

"Oh, hi Grace," He began, "I just wanted to let you know that I got here safely. I settled in and got to get updated with Jordan which was just as interesting as it always is, he sends his love," A slight chuckle, "Anyway, no real news to share yet, I hope everything is going well for you and your mom with all this back to school party planning. Okay well, It's nearly 1 am here so I suppose I should head to bed. Love you, talk to you soon." Hale hung up the phone with an unsatisfied sigh. He hated leaving messages because he was just so incessantly awkward. He felt a vague annoyance at Grace for not having picked up and putting him in the position of even having to leave a message, but chalked it up to being jet lagged and missing his girlfriend. He walked back into the room gingerly and hopped into his newly made bed, getting ready for a busy day of orientation and theological deep dives with the freshman. He quickly pulls out his bible app and reads the verse of the day. Usually he would read one or two whole chapters of the bible before bed but he was feeling rather jet lagged and felt he couldn't have focused on more than just the one verse. It was a verse from the book of the prophet Jeremiah that said, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations."

'God of creation, thank you for forming me, please lead me into whatever you have appointed me for.' Was his prayer as He drifted off to sleep.

Hale's dream brings him no comfort. There were no wedding jitters, no anxiety over the identity of the woman. Here she stands beside him, showing him a grainy picture. There are no clear features of her face but he can tell she's smiling and so he does the same. The picture itself is news of some kind, the type of news that should make him smile. As she places the picture in his hands he strains his eyes to see it more clearly.

'I knew you, I appointed you' Hale hears vaguely as he is led upstairs with his wife. They enter a small room with children's things scattered around and right in the middle there are three children, a girl and two boys. His heart swells as he watches them play together, but where is the woman? As he turns his face back to the door he sees the woman walking away and so he goes after her. She doesn't seem to be walking very fast, and yet he can't catch up to her. Something in his heart tells him that it's important to go to her, he just has to reach her. The feeling of urgency grows as he sees her go out the front door and he thinks he hears himself yell after her.

'I appointed you' He hears again as he opens the front door and finds her gone.

"Don't go!" Hale wakes with a start.

Jordan, now sitting up in his own bed, gives him a pointed look. "So you're completely confident, right?"