You Bet

"You know when I bumped into you the first day of school? Well, Taylor said you looked like you wanted to "eat me up"(lifting his fingers for air quotes). She had this idea of having some fun with you because you looked smitten by me." Was I that obvious? I felt my face flaming up. "She told me to ask you out and act like I'm into you. She said she'll bet I'll have you eating at the palm of my hand in a week and I said I think it will take longer than that.She said we'd pretend that we broke up and I'll do my job. At first, when you refused to accept rides from me, I was irritated and as time went on, I became intrigued and I watched you with Mark and I felt like I wanted to be in his place. I don't know if it was just my ego then, but I felt like I needed to work harder for your attention and that's when I decided to break up with Taylor. Something inside me was telling me that you were the one. I don't exactly know how to explain it but it's a feeling I get whenever I see you or think of you. The first time you let me take you home, I can't describe the feeling but I felt nervous and excited. I don't know what to say to you and believe me when I say that has never happened to me before. I just knew deep inside I can't bullshit my way through your heart. Taylor was calling me all the time then but I told her that our breakup is for real and it's final and that I want to be with you and not her. Let's just say she didn't take it very well and she's been trying to get back with me ever since. I wanted to tell you but I feel like it's too early to break your trust when I'm barely getting my foot inside the door." Somehow I can see the sincerity in his eyes. My heart wants to reach out to him but my sensible mind is telling me that it's just one of his tricks. I have never been so torn in my life.

"I know you have every right to hate me and I will be lying if I say that I will understand if you don't talk to me ever again because I will do everything in my power to gain your full trust." Tears are now streaming down his cheeks. I never had a guy cry for me before and my heart is so moved. "I won't know what to do if I lose you Cassie, please forgive me."

Somehow, I found myself crying too. "Oh Raiden, I don't know if I'm glad that you told me because my heart is breaking right now. The past few weeks, I have been having doubts about you and hearing this from Taylor and from you just confirmed my biggest fear. That I was a fool to believe that you like me."

"But I do! I love you Cassie, and I'm not just saying that. I will do anything in order to prove my sincerity."

"I think my heart feels you but my mind is telling me otherwise, please give me some space first. I need to think. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a class to get to."

He looked like a lost little boy. "Cas, please."

"Please move, I'm late for class, my study hall is over." I tried to keep my voice steady. I know in my heart that I will forgive him but I needed some time to myself for now in order to process everything.

He moved aside and took the seat I had just vacated. He just looked beaten.

I want to hug him so bad and tell him that everything is okay between us but right now, I don't have the strength nor the resolve to do so. I went to my locker to get my stuff for the next class and saw Mark in the hallway. He was going to approach me but Heather pulled her arm and said something to him and they both walked away. He looked back at me and I see the concern in his eyes. That was when I decided that I can't do this today. I can't go to class and act like everything is okay. I went to the counselor's office and explained what happened. I asked to be excused for the rest of the day. I just wanted to go home and sulk.

When I got home, I just plopped down on my bed and let it all out. I cried until I felt better, it seems it won't get better. Mark texted me a few hours later. "I'm here if you need to talk." I ignored him. What the hell is up with this guy confusing me all the time. If he doesn't want to have anything to do with me then he should just stay away from me forever. Raiden on the other hand did not even text nor call. I wonder where he went. His car wasn't there when I left the school. Michelle also messaged me asking if I'm okay and that she will be right over as soon as school lets out.