Absence

I was about 20 minutes into the San Mateo traffic when Raiden called. "We're boarding and I'll call you again when we land. I'm sure they will have better internet at the hotel so I can do video."

"Stay safe for me, babe. I love you so much."

"I will. Bye. I really need to go. I love you." the call ended.

I stared at my phone for who knows how long, before putting it back in my bag with a sigh. Sounds cheesy and cliché but I do miss him already.

He called me everyday, mostly video calls so I didn't miss him as much as I thought I would. On Christmas Eve, I called him and showed him my gift for him. I made a scrapbook for him. It had the picture of our first movie together and I printed out a movie poster since he bought the tickets online; the receipt for the first time we went to The Night Owl, the tickets to the first hockey game we went to, petals of the first flowers he gave me, all our firsts documented in one lookbook. I made it into some sort of storybook. "Do you like it? Wait, are you crying Mr. Raiden Patterson?" I did not notice if he was crying earlier as I was showing him the book, but his eyes looked like he was.

"No, of course not. It's just so early in the morning and we were also up late last night."

"Oh no, I'm sorry. I totally forgot the time difference. Why don't you go back to sleep and call me later."

"It's fine I had my alarm set so I can call you at midnight there, really."

"Aww, how sweet. Love you babe, merry Christmas. Wish you're here so I can hug you." Please tell your parents I said merry Christmas too. Go back and get some more sleep!" I ended the call before he could protest. I know how much he loves his sleep.

On the 26th, it seems he forgot to call and I tried calling him too but he wasn't answering. My messages were left unanswered too. I figured he was just busy with festivities and his family so I called Michelle and spent the day at the mall with her. We tried to exchange some of the gifts we got for ones that we will actually use. The next day though, still no word from Raiden and I'm beginning to get worried. If he does not call or text or message by tomorrow, I'm calling his mom. I don't want to be that girlfriend but I am scared - of what, I don't know. I have this eerie feeling in my tummy that something is not right.

The next day, still no word from Raiden, so I called his mom. She picked up when I have almost given up. "Hi, Cassie. how are you?"

"I'm great Catherine. How's your vacation going?"

She looked at someone beside her and said, "Oh, we're having a blast!" I was trying to see her background to try and decipher where they are but all I can see is the white wall behind her.

"Look, um, I was just wondering if Raiden's there. He hasn't been replying to my messages and he's not picking up my calls too."

She looked beside her again and hesitated a bit before saying, "Oh, sorry dear. Raiden's out with his cousins. They actually went to the city the other day and he left his phone here. His cousin lent him a local phone to use here, I guess that's what he took with him." I wonder what it is that she kept looking at or maybe a who.

I was disappointed, "Well, if he calls you, please tell him I miss him. I hope to see you guys soon!"

"I will." She said, with a sad look in her face. "Cassie, take good care of yourself, okay?"

"I will Catherine, you take care too. Bye."

I wonder where he is and why had he left his phone when he knows that it's the only connection we have. What is going on. Is he ditching me, for reals? If he doesn't want to be with me anymore, he should just tell me, right? Did he meet some fancy French girl there? And now, they're taking pictures in the Eiffel Tower; and then he's gonna propose to her there; and give her a ring like mine. The scenarios I can drum up with my overactive imagination. Being an over-thinker is an absolute fail in situations like these. I twirled the ring he gave me on my finger and I just started to cry. I just had to let it all out, all my doubts, my insecurities, my hopelessness all came crashing down on me. I fell asleep crying.