Epilogue

I am thankful to have a lot of people around me to provide distraction. Jason would beg me to play video games with him, my mom surprisingly had a longer list of chores for me to complete, Michelle is always needing something from the mall or craving for ice cream, and Mark seems to have a lot of free time to just hang out and talk. I would occasionally drop by the Pattersons and I'm happy to see that Randy is back to his old busy self and so is Catherine. She is being more hands on with the winery, mostly creating new recipes every week. They also opened and in house pastry shop.

There are still days that I get really down, and there are still nights that I cry myself to sleep but I know it will get better in time. It's been a couple of months now and my routine is almost normal again. I used to go to the guidance counselor's office a few times a day and now, its down to just a few times a week.

One time I was hanging out with Mark in the park and I remembered what Raiden said the day he died. I don't know why it had slipped my mind but now I remember and my interest got piqued again. "Hey, Mark?" I said rolling over to lay on my tummy and propping myself on my elbow.

"Mmm huh?" He said, his head on his elbow and his eyes closed.

"Raiden said something to me before he umm...before he died."

He opened his eyes and looked at me.

"I should have told you sooner so you could have gone there and talked to him. but I kind of forgot." He still didn't say anything and he was just waiting for me to say it.

"He told me to tell you that he's sorry. What is that all about?"

"Well, when he transferred to Kennedy, I was dating Taylor and I was captain of the basketball team, I had it all. Raiden being Raiden tried out for the basketball team and got in and that's how he took everything from me or so I thought. Our first game together, he accidentally bumped into me while I was doing a lay up and I fell and broke my knee. That's why I can't play anymore, and Taylor doesn't want to be with a has-been and broke up with me. She went for Raiden when he became the new team captain. I still think it was no accident but hey, that was in the past right? I think I just outgrew the rivalry until you came along and I felt that it was starting all over again. I decided to back off because there's no way I will win against Mr. Perfect."

Well that explains the enmity between them, I mused.

"I actually went to see him that day." he confessed.

"You did? He didn't tell me." I was confused.

"Yeah, I...well it was guy talk."

"Well, if you already talked to him before I did, why did he have to ask me to tell you that?"

He shrugged. He is now sitting up beside me. "I don't know, maybe he's hoping we'd have this conversation and have everything out in the open. He said starting with a clean slate is a good start for a relationship."

"Relationship? What relationship? We're not...uhh..."

"No, I...I know, but..."

"Spill!" I ordered.

"I kinda asked for his permission to be with you, well I just told him I'm also in love with you and I wanted to be with you. I just thought it was the right thing to do given the rift between us with what happened before. I knew how I felt when that thing happened between him and Taylor and even though he'd be gone when I make my moves, I still think it's the proper thing to do."

"You are not making sense but do you actually think I'd believe that the two of you talked and became best friends in a snap?"

"Cassie, I don't care what you believe but what I'm saying here is I'm in love with you and I want to be with you." It's my turn to sit up. I know I've been wondering about this and somehow I was picturing this before, that he'd tell me how he feels but now that he actually said it, he scared me.

"I'm sorry Mark, I just can't process this right now. I'm still not over Raiden and I'm not ready for a new relationship right now. I do hope you understand." I got up and left. Mark just answered a question I had been asking since the beginning but now, he just made my life more complicated.

I heard him calling me as I walked away, but I don't want to stop right now. I don't feel like facing the music just yet.