new life,hard life

calixte stared out her door her stomach growling for some type of substance, she prayed for food, for money, for food.. since coming to the new crew she had only made 1 friend an older lady with a soft voice named bat her laugh was wonderful and bat had fed her a few times she enjoyed her new friend and co worker, since they left Jackson's feelings for her has faded and he had no problems reminding her that she was worthless and unloved, her once bright smile has faded to a cold emotionless stare and her eyes that was once so bright now only grayish of the asphalt that surrounded her. her skin that had vibrated red and covered in frekels now a white grey, and she stared ahead into the clouds where the sun was set to rise her boss a balded headed man was built like an ox and came up smiling he gave her the creeps as he smiled and stated they would be headed to the 1st location and no longer driving the 2 hour trip back and forth every day, she felt slightly relieved then stammered out the words "m-mmm-may I have a draw?" her begging eyes met his she knew she owed him money Jackson has recently picked up a very expensive habit and she never dared to challenge him on it. Joe sighed "i guess" he pulls out a large wad of cash and hands her a 10$ bill and announcing that she needed to make that last a week.. her hand trembled knowing there was no way that would happen, she hurriedly gathered her bag and walked shaking towards the store to see what food she could afford for her and Jackson she knew his wrath would be the down fall of any happiness this 10$ bill has brought her,

but her stomach didnt care as she sat on her floor of her bunk (jackson had kicked her out of his room) she munched down on the dollar cheeseburger she had decided on. and dropped off his food as he shrieked about her not giving him the money and how he needed his fix and damned her throwing the food in her face, she laid on her mattress she had grown accustomed to and drifted off to sleep it seemed only minutes had passed before the heavy knocking startled her awake "TIME TO MOVE OUT!!" Joe's booming voice could be heard demanding compliance, she hurriedly shoved her feet into her shoes and jumped down from her bunk, running toward the truck, once again she was rolling, 4 hours and thousands of palm trees later she saw the lights of the carnival ahead, what journey would this wheel take her.

----2 weeks later----

calixte sat in the water race arranging the teddy bears from wall to wall in straight lines across contrasting the colors from light to dark, she sat on the floor shoving hooks in the ready bears trying to forget the argument her and Jackson had over a girl he decided he liked her heart fought with her when her string of thought was broken "hello" a voice echoed in her ears her body filled with goosebumps and she felt her face grow hot the voice it sounded so familiar but yet she knew she had never heard such a low,soft yet deep voice she turned being greeted with a wide smile showing white teeth and blue eyes staring into her soul, she had paused a moment then noticed she hadn't said anything he stood there black hair tasseled on top his head he was perfect, his lips were full and pink with tribal tattoos down both arms he turned his head to the side as if he were trying to read her mind she automatically remembered "jackson!" she shifted her body rolled her eyes "hello.." he threw out his hand almost immediately to shake, she stared and wanted to clinch into her person but something made her reach out gently and touch his hand it was rough but at the same time very gentle, he stared then she remembered "oh, I'm Calixte" her face she felt it growing red all the blood rushing to her head he bit his lip rocked back on his heels and said "well nice to meet you beautiful" her heart pounded, she tried to ignore the guy who just marched into her world and claimed her soul, she shook her head "claimed me" it was an odd feeling like she couldnt be away from him, she stared unknowingly at him lost wondering "what in the hell just happened" when he looked up from the ground and once again met her eyes quickly she turned away seeing his face slightly glowing a dull pink across his nose.

the game was finished and she stepped out of the truck thanking Joe's girlfriend/babysitter for the ride as she walked towards the bunk she paused there was Jackson sitting with a girl between his legs laughing,drinking, he cut his eyes toward her smiling and he saw the pain in her face, he was enjoying breaking her, she refused to shed a single tear tonight a deep breath helped her March to her room then to grab the money she had finally made, then a slight pep talk to herself about how she didnt have to worry about feeding Jackson anymore and could buy what she liked without the possibility of him screaming at her, off she went the gas station being next door made alcohol easy to come by as she grabbed two of the largest cans with the highest content she could find quickly she walked from the store passed everyone she could feel the judgment against her back from the stares everyone knew what was happening, she looked around to see 2 blue eyes with a brown bottle of beer pressed against 2 perfect lips, but one thing off was the girl giggling at his side with his arm draped across her shoulder but his eyes followed calixtes as she hurried to her bunk with her score of five cans of 9% alcoholic content and slammed the door moaning from Jackson's room leaked through the walls calixte threw her head back puncturing the bottom of one of the tall boys as she cracked the tab spewing the cold yet warm liquid down her throat wincing at the burning in the back of her throat as the warmness of the beverage seemed to glue her heart back together and allowed her to feel untouchable.

she then slid off her bed opened the door smiled cheek to cheek hello TA he cut his eyes towards her TA was her neighbor "are you drunk?!" calixte stared at him, "NOT YET!" breaking into laughter as he shook his head, calixte jumped out her room and bounced across the parking lot cracking open the second can as she danced around the trailer eyes caught her attention blue eyes black hair he grinned, his eyes seemed almost dark grey charcoal as he stared in her direction. what was he thinking the girl from before came around the trailer and ruined her finger down his cheek stealing a kiss from those perfect lips,

what was this?! jealousy?! she barely knew this guy and her heart was so full of rage seeing him allowing this thing to take the love she felt owed... her eyes fell to the ground her heart felt so heavy, when a bright smile from a guy calixte knew had a crush on her had entered her vision she smiled "hi sam" his disbelief almost kept him from greeting her back his curly brown hair stuck to his head and he realized she was slightly intoxicated with her turning the can towards the sky trying to get every drop calixte reached out only wanting to numb her heavy heart by loosening herself in someone, rubbed her fingers across his cheek she could feel her eyes shining and giggled "wanna watch a movie with me, I dont want to be alone sam.." she bit her own lip staring at him waiting for his approval " stammering over his words he almost shouted "yes! of course!" calixte stepped up on the bottom step shot a glare at the blue eyes that now was met with a clinched jaw and white knuckles, " it almost shocked her,she almost turned back around to go take a taste of him reassuring him she wanted him, as soon as the thought entered the girl again returned stealing yet another kiss, calixte dropped the thought continued her climb up the stairs to Sam smiling as she removed her clothes.

calixte grabbed his hand forcing it up her body staring straight into his eyes, while she placed his hand on her side slithered into his lap facing him, she grabbed his hair on the back of his head forcing him to meet her lips she could feel him growing hard between her legs and her body heated up as he laid her down slipping her pants down she giggled but just wanted to feel someone close she had no intention to do this more than once, Sam smiled almost making her feel guilty for what she was doing.. she just wanted to feel something anything to awaken the demon in her and numb the stupid little girl still waiting for daddy. she felt the piercing of his parts into her and she clinched into her thoughts closing her eyes the blue eyes entered her mind becoming embarrassed she opened her eyes to dissatisfaction of someone else she waited for him to finish and she raised up put on her clothes and marched out, she felt dirty like she had just been raped she knew this wasnt true so she just walked into the shower room and allowed the hot water to burn his smell off her skin her soap did little justice to the filth she felt inside, she ran to her room soaking wet with new clothes on and old ones shove tightly to her chest as she closed her eyes and decided to act as though nothing happened...