Thirty-One

Apologize.

That's what I'm going to do today. Apologize to my team, to Mr. Eric, to my friends, to everyone.

I'm not sure if I'm gonna tell them about the real reason, or should I stick with the accident thing that Archer suggested. He made that up last night so he recommended that I can use that as a reason if I don't want to look dumb in front of them.

Well, I agree with him in some ways. Telling them that I met my past self would sound ridiculous.

I didn't know how to approach them. I'm scared that if I try to talk to them, they'll just ignore me and wouldn't let me explain. I mean, I had to lie because that's the only way that I can convince them.

But, it's also wrong.

I managed to call my friends and said to them to meet me at the round table where we usually eat during lunchtime. The cafeteria is still closed until break. We only had that place available.

As I got to the spot, I see them sitting and waiting for me. I took a deep breath before approaching them. While I walk on my way to them, Irish immediately noticed me. She looked at me walking then looked away after arriving at the table.

They were silent.

No one spoke, not even a single word or sound has been made when I got there. They just sat there, quietly. I insisted to talk after I sat beside Justin. He is also silent and doesn't have the courage to look at me.

I took one deep breath before I started talking. "I'm sorry." I apologized and looked at them one by one. "I couldn't come to the event because I was, uh, interrupted by something. And I, uh-"

"Ash." Agatha cut me off. I looked at her. "We are upset, not because you didn't show up at the event. But the fact that we haven't heard from you just right after the match. You could've informed us, Asher. So, we'll know and we wouldn't expect you to come by." she stated. I know everyone agreed to her.

"Yeah. I know. I was just so tired that day. A lot of things happened. I'm sorry." I apologized.

None of them responded, but Cristina showed a small smile and that made everyone smile too, including me. I smiled back at them as we all chuckle softly.

"What happened to your head? I mean, forehead?" Maddie cut the chuckling.

"Yeah, what happened? Did you try doing parkour again?" Irish added while she was poking the bandage.

I grunted in pain and also touched my forehead. "No. I, uh, tripped and hit my forehead at the corner of a wall." I explained to them as I fix the bandage.

"It's not that bad actually. You just look like a cracked egg." Cristina teased then they all laughed. I rolled my eyes and shook my head while I smile.

The first stage is done.

After that, I immediately went to Mr. Eric and did apologize. He says that he understands my situation and health must come first. Well, honestly, I did expect that he would say that. I mean, he is really an easy-forgiving person.

He tends to forgive a person easily as long as that person didn't do anything that could break its own life.

Before proceeding to the final stage, I wanted to clear my mind first.

After five classes, I took lunch with my friends and went to my favorite place, the rooftop of our building. I went there alone because that's the reason why I always go there.

To be alone. To isolate. To think.

The view never disappoints. It always makes me calm just by looking at it. The fresh air that breezes to my face. It makes me want to close my eyes and feel the moment.

Being alone is kind of the best thing for me.

Because when I'm alone, I wouldn't do anything to disappoint anyone. There I could think and calm myself and live the moment.

I remember when I was a 10-year-old kid, when my cousins argue about a nonsense thing, I go to the bathroom and spend the rest of my time there until they stop arguing.

Alone, I make myself calm.

I mean, there are certain things or people that can make me calm. Examples are my friends and my mom but, at the end of the day, we end up with ourselves. At the end of the day, we only have ourselves.

And there I learned about how to be independent. Well, not exactly independent I mean, I still can't freaking cook but, I learned how to control myself. My emotions, my feelings, my mind.

I learned all of that by being with myself.

Because the thing is we can't always rely on people. They're always there. We can't just stick around with them and ask if we need help. The only person that controls and understands you, is you.

You, yourself.

And some say they also don't understand themselves but the thing is, they don't focus. They don't dig deeper into themselves and learn more about what they can do or what they will do. Because, I promise that if you learned how to control yourself, you'll be more powerful than you know.

I spent enough time at the spot, so I went down to go back to my class.

I didn't have the courage to talk to Roller. I really don't have any right now.

"Why not?" Archer asked. We are both in the hallway, in his locker, and are talking about why can't I talk to Roller.

"I just can't, dude. I mean, what if he is mad?" I asked back, breathing heavily.

"Ash, he is mad." he stated. "Like, real damn mad. He could punch you in the throat and not apologize about it."

I glared at him, "Thanks for the comfort, dude. I appreciate it." I sarcastically said.

"Well, you're welcome. It seems that I'm pretty good about it."

I glared at him again. I can't with this guy.

"No, seriously, man. It's no good for me if I do it. I mean, you're the one who has the mistake. It's your fault." he explained. I remained silent and tried calming my breathing.

I mean, yes he's right. It's my fault. I should be the one who will approach him.

"Okay, what about the others? Can you get them?" I asked. Archer nodded and closed his locker.

"Yeah, I could do that." he answered.

"Alright, tell them to go to the room where we all first met. I'll meet you there."

He nodded in agreement and immediately ran through the hallway. I turned around and saw Roller leaning at the wall with his eyes glued to his phone. I took a deep breath before approaching him.

I knew that he noticed me before I could completely arrive, but he didn't really care and just kept on scrolling through his phone.

"Roller," I called him, but he didn't respond or looked at me. "Hey, uh, can-can we talk?" I asked.

"If you're here to tell me about the reason you couldn't come, then don't bother wasting your saliva." he stated, still with his phone. I was confused so I squinted my eyes as I look at him.

"Wha-What?" I stuttered. He put his phone in his jacket and inserted his hands into its pockets then looked at me.

"Archer, already told me about it. The real one." he stated. My eyes grew wider after hearing the last phrase.

"He told you about that?" I exclaimed, my voice raised. He nodded to me as an answer. I looked away and put my hands to the top of my head then gripped my hair.

"That motherfucker." I whispered.

Roller softly chuckled. "It's alright," he said. I looked at him with disbelief. "I don't judge you." he added. My mouth parted open, not believing about what he just said.

"Wait, what?" I asked.

"I don't judge you. Sometimes our heads mess with us and it's not just you who has experienced that." he explained.

"You did too?" I curiously asked.

He shook his head. "No." he answered. "My sister did. But not like yours that met your past...I don't know, self. But her mind always messes with her, so," he explained. I nodded my head and smiled at him. He did smile back and patted my shoulders then shook them.

"Forget it, alright?" he said. "We're all good."

"Actually, I am about to meet the team." I grimaced.

He sighed. "Okay, but stick the fake one, yeah? They might freak out if you tell them the truth." he advised.

"Yeah, sure." I grinned. Roller decided to come with me because he wanted to see how will I deal with the team or how will the team deal with me and when we arrived at the room where I told Archer to meet me, they were all there, waiting for me.

As I enter the room, their noises were transformed into silence. Their facial expressions changed as they see me approaching them. And by that, I felt more nervous than earlier.

They all sat in proper chairs like a proper meeting while I go to the front. Roller and Archer were at the back, standing and smiling at me.

I gave them a flash smile and got my attention back to the team.

"I, uh," I sniffed. "I wanted to apologize about yesterday. I am-I am really sorry." I stuttered speaking to them. My hands were trembling because of the nervousness that I am feeling. And what bothers me more is the killing stares that they're wearing.

I felt uncomfortable.

"I know I was supposed to be there standing with you, fighting with you. I never meant any of the interruptions to happen. It's just that...I had an accident." I explained.

The room was dead silent until I heard someone from the team spoke. "You expect us to forgive you? What do you think are we? An easy peasy people?" that guy said. I think he was a third-year student. I don't actually know him but I think he's one of Archer's classmates.

"No, no. I don't-I didn't say that." I countered a panic attack is striking me now.

"You didn't, but your words are defining it." the guy responded. I tried to speak again, but then the guy who spoke earlier cut me off. "You're such an asshole." he added.

There, I decided to shut my mouth. It's not his words that bother me, but the panic attack and nervous feeling that I am currently experiencing. I thought I could handle myself, but when it comes to panic attacks, I lose my shit.

"Shut up, Luke, will you?" Archer chimed in, shouting at his classmate. "The guy is explaining. Give him time."

That guy, Luke, turned around to face him. "Why are you defending him, huh?" he argued.

"Because he deserves to be defended." Roller also chimed in. I looked at both of them.

The guy scoffed and stood up. The attention was all transferred to him. We all looked at him. "This so-called manager who failed to show up at the event and shows up now to apologize deserves to be defended?" he argued, pointing at me.

"Well, at least he is apologizing. He admitted his mistake. I mean, what have you done, huh? Besides getting wasted all the time and sleep with countless girls?" Jared argued.

"Why do you care?" the guy exclaimed and walked closer to me. I didn't move because I didn't know what to do. "What about you, huh?" he said, walking closer. "How many girls have you slept with?" he added and gripped my chin.

His eyes were locked onto mine, sensing rage and anger within. "Get your hands off me." I whispered, glaring at him.

He scoffed and faced the team. "You see? You see his true colors showing up? This is why you don't trust people that you've just met. Why the fuck did Mr. Eric hired this guy anyway?" he then faced me.

"Get your hands off me or I swear I will fucking beat the crap out of you and leave you for dead." I warned him.

It didn't take a minute for him to get his hands off my chin. He stepped back, grabbed his backpack, and looked at everyone.

"A guy like you doesn't deserve to be part of our team. You are a disappointment." Roller stated with his arms crossed, indicating to Luke. The guy spits down to the floor before he completely left the room.

We all fell silent as he slammed the door shut.

"Fucking retard." I heard Jason muttered.

I broke the silence by speaking again. "I didn't mean to-" I uttered then Jason cut in. "It's alright. He's an asshole anyway." he said.

"I'm really sorry." I spoke again. Jason stood up from his seat and went to embrace me so I hugged him back. "We're all good, alright?" he pulled. I nodded at him as an answer and smiled.

"I'm also here to, uh, tell you guys something." I uttered. They all looked at me out of curiosity. "Since we're all done, the trainings, the meetings, the matches, and more. I guess my job here is also done too." I stated. It actually hurt saying those lines.

Roller put on a small smile while he looks at me. I glanced at the whole team while they also look at me silently.

"For the past months, I've been a part of this cool team that contains crackheads and naughty athletes." I joked and they laughed. "It's really the best experience that I've ever had this year and I gotta say, I will always look back on this. I will never forget the awesome moments that I've made with all of you. I may not be the best manager that Mr. Eric assigned but, I did try being the best. It is really an honor to be with you."

The room was silent but smiles painted our faces.

"Asher, the honor's all ours." Jared stated. I smiled at him.

"You're the best manager we never knew we wanted." Jason added. I smiled to all of them and nodded. Thanking them is literally not enough. I'm glad that I met these people and I experienced a different thing. I will surely remember this moment.

I'm really happy that it did go well. They all forgave me and I can't stop being happy about it.

Archer and I were on our way home. We just exited the gate from school then he came up with something to talk about.

"About last night..." he muttered. "You say you have another brother?" he curiously asked. I looked at him and nodded.

"You know, I have a brother too." he grinned.

I looked at him with disbelief. "No shit. Really?" I unbelievably asked. He nodded to me as an answer. I chuckled and patted his shoulder.

"What's his name?" I asked.

"Well, whether you believe it or not, he has the same name as you."

My eyes widened. "Really?" I exclaimed. He nodded again while smiling. "Well, I bet that your brother has a handsome face just like I do." I cockily said.

He looked at me with disbelief. "Just because you have the same name doesn't mean you also have the same face." he stated.

"Well, in my defense, the name 'Asher' is pretty unique. Only 5% of the world's population has that kind of name."

"How do you know?"

"I just know it."

He shook his head as I laugh. He told me everything about his brother and I gotta say, his brother seems to be nice. And not to mention, has similarities with me.

With him telling me about his brother, I can say that his brother has a nice personality. "Where is he now?" I broke the conversation.

Archer hesitated to answer, but he didn't mind it. "I don't actually know, he was separated from me when I was 4-years-old." he said, his eyes are wearing sadness.

"My brother died when I was 4-years-old." I added.

"Alexander?"

"Yeah." I nodded. He pursed his lips and tapped my shoulders. "I'm sorry, man." he said.

"It's okay. I got over it. And I'm sure he's happy wherever he is now." I said. We both shared a smile.

"Yeah, it was pretty fun having a brother." he said. "He looks after me, I look after him. We both looked after each other. We got each other's back. We both have the same likes about something. Except for sports, he never liked basketball. We both have the same favorite movies, foods, toys, shoes, almost anything." he explained. He meant every word that he said. I can see it in his tone and his eyes.

"Same shit." I said. He glanced at me. "I also miss my brother. We're like the ultimate partners in crime." I stated.

We talked about it for the whole time until we reached home.