CHAPTER 8

Samantha's POV:

I try to open my eyes. I check my phone and see that it is 8 in the morning. Since some construction is going at our school, the school is closed for a month. I am debating whether I should try to go back to sleep or read some books now. I sigh and just stare at the ceiling.

A lot of events occurred last night. I shouted at Sammy, my mom slapped me, Sammy found my secret, that dream and that idiot comforting me. He really is my safe heaven.

I was always afraid to tell him that I cut and do all those. Because I thought that he was gonna hate me. I really don't want my other half to despise me. Anything but that.

Depression really does suck. I don't know why I had to be depressed. Why do people always compare me with him? Why do.. I stop all the negative thinkings. I don't wanna be depressed first thing in the morning.

So, in order to free my mind from all these negative thoughts, I decide to go through my Gallery. I see the folder that contained my and Sammy's pictures. I go through the pictures and it sure did bring some great memories. We were so small and so fragile... I never knew that I was going to go through all these. This depression, cutting, insomnia, bullying, eating disorder, insecurities... the world really is a strange place. I chuckle with no emotion at all.

I hear Sammy's bed moving. I look below and see him struggling to open his ocean blue eyes. Everyone might think that he is perfect and all but in reality, he is a clumsy idiot. 

I decide that I might as well get up. I reach down and snuggle next to him. "Mmm... pankcake... jelly.. no... I want more..." He is murmuring weird stuff as always. I decide to wake him up. I get on top of him and poked him in his forehead. He flinches? Shoot... was it too hard?

"Sammy, wakey wakey. The sun is upsy wapsy." I shake his shoulders in hope that it would wake him up. But boy, is he a deep sleeper! "Sammy... wake up.." I am literally whining now. I don't wanna face my parents alone after all those incidents. But this boy doesn't seem to have a care in the world and is sleeping peacefully.

So, I decide to use my last trick and with deep breath, I go near his ear and shouted,"Sammy, wake up!!" After hearing this, his eyes shot open and he gets up resulting in me falling down from his bed. He really is an idiot.

"Huh? What happened? Where am I? Where is my pancakes?" Seriously? That's the first thing he thinks about? Pancakes?

"Well, good morning to you too, dear older brother. Nothing happened other than me getting hurt thanks to someone whose name starts with an 'S' and he just so happens to have ocean blue eyes and blonde hair. And if you look around, you will see that you are in our room. And as for your pancakes, I guess mom is still making them." I answer all his questions.

I look at him and see his fluffy blonde hair scattered all around his face. His ocean blue eyes look so damn confused. I am literally trying to hold in a chuckle. And I failed badly.

"What you laughing for?" He asks me confusingly. Honestly, he is too cute. If anyone saw him at home, his entire image would be tarnished.

"Nothing. You just look so cute." I get close to him and pulled his cheeks.

"Ow! What you think you are doing?!" He hisses in pain. But I don't regret it at all.

"Now, do you get how much painful it is?" I ask him and he just pouts.

"Yea, yea. Whatever. How long have you been awake though?" He asks me. I look at the clock and tell him, "About 15 minutes."

"Oh. So, why didn't you go downstairs yet? Not comfy yet?" He asks me. His eyes are filled with worry.

"Yea. Not comfy yet." I answer him honestly.

"Well, you can't always lock yourself in your room. Isn't it better if you talk to mom and dad and solve the matter? I mean, come on, they can't be that mad, right?" Sammy asks me. I look into his eyes and I can see that he is extremely sure of what he is saying.

"I don't know, Sammy. I really don't know.... I just want to sleep and never wake up... you know... so that I don't have to face the world anymore..." I tell him without thinking. He is about to say something but then I interrupt and say, "But then who is gonna take care of my dummy?" I ask him.

He flashes me a smile. "Yup. That's true. I don't know what I would do without you. Anyways, let's get up, freshen up and go downstairs, okay?" He tells and at the same time gets outta his bed.

"Yea." Is my only answer.

We freshen up and go downstairs. We see mom preparing pancakes as usual  and dad reading his newspaper. They didn't seem to notice us till Sammy clears his voice. They look at us and continue back to their works. Strange.

I glance at Sammy and I can see that he has the same reaction. Just when I am about to ask him about it, my mom's voice interrupt us.

"Sammy, come here. Your pancakes are ready." My mom calls Sammy. Eh? Why didn't she call me? Is she still mad about yesterday? But I guess anyone in her position will be mad...

I don't know why but I feel sick all of a sudden. But not that sick... it's like the one I get whenever I am sad or frustrated....

I look around and see that Sammy is still confused and looks at me worried. I give him a nod and give him a smile. A fake smile. Hopefully he won't notice. My "smile" seem to have been real enough. I decide to go upstairs in my room, change my clothes and go out to eat since I am not that welcomed here.

Just as I am about to go, my mom calls me. But what she says isn't something that I wanted to hear.

"Where do you think you are going, Samantha? Or should I say drug addict?" She looks at me as if she is disappointed. What? Drug addict? Where is she getting that idea?

"Mom, what are you-" before I can complete my sentence, my dad stands up all of a sudden and yells at me, "Samantha Alexa Blades! Is this what we taught you? To drink?! To take drugs?! To shout at your brother who did nothing?! I thought we taught you better than that." My dad looks pretty angry. But I don't get it. I just don't. What did I do?

I hang my head low and just try to listen to their angry words. "Oh please, Samantha, for once, admit your mistakes. Please stop being innocent when you are not." My mom yells at me all of a sudden causing me to flinch. I decide to ask them just why they are yelling at me.

"Mom. Dad. What did I do?" I ask them. I glance at them and they look at me like I have grown two horns or something. 

"What did you do? You wanna know what you did?!" My mom comes near my face and yells at me. I hate it. I hate this side of mom. All of a sudden she dashes out of the room and comes with my bag. More specifically my art bag.

She pulls out something and shows me a packet. "Mind explaining this?!" I look at her and then at the packet.

The packet is pretty similar to a drug. But in reality it was just some silver dust I use for my paintings. They are new in the market so I had thought of buying them for making a present. They seem to have misunderstood though.

"It's not drug if that's what you are thinking." I tell her looking straight in her eyes. But this seemed to have angered her even more.

"Not drug? Then what is it?!" This time my dad yells.

I don't get it. Why aren't they believing me... is that how much they trust me?

"I can't tell you that. But I can assure you that it's not drug. " I reply with a straight face.

"Samantha get in your room and don't come out!" My dad yells at me. I guess they didn't even trust me one bit.

I listen to my father's words and head upstairs so I can go upstairs to my room.