Chapter 12- Thoughts

I belong with the one put on this Earth for me

Everybody has their someone, just gotta look and see

I'm screaming out, "Lord, help me, I've been lonely"

That's when you accept me, then you set me free

-Life's a mess Juice WRLD and Halsey

I woke up to the soft pitter patter of the rain against my windows. Outside was dark, dark enough to let me know I've missed dinner. Standing up, I realised I wasn't hungry but rather tired. Sneaking out of my room, I walked to Xena's room pushing the door open no one was there I sat criss cross on the floor.

My eyes roamed around the room it was the same apart from the fact it was built for two, the bunks were behind me it looked comfortable two study desks parallel from each other. The creme paint looking chipped at the corners. Their bars on the windows looked more rusted than mine, their room was cold.

My mind began to wander to what I saw earlier, details that I failed to recognise no came at me. Swallowing the bile that rose up tears streamed down my cheeks. I recalled the look of pure horror on her face, the way her legs bent at an awkward angle the scratches that filled her arms. Her eyes were probably full of life once upon a time.

Standing up, I walked around the room it wasn't significantly larger just large enough I saw a paper sticking out from the drawers, curiosity got the best of me I picked it up it was an address, I stuck it into my pants. I don't know why I did that I just did. I continued to study the desk it was littered with coloured pens and a picture of Xavier and others but a corner was folded.

Pulling out the picture frame I unfolded it, Nathan was there smiling at the camera. I don't think I've ever seen him smile. I traced his features with my fingers till I heard a cough behind me.

Anai was there, her long black hair was packed into a high ponytail she was hiding something behind her back. She pulled it and I got into a defensive position. She gave me an eyebrow and gave me an envelope with my name on it.

"What's this?", I asked it was a bit heavy, like there was something weighty in it.

"It's from your dad. Came in while you were sleeping." She didn't ask why I was in her room. She didn't talk about the picture that was still in my hand. The address feeling heavier in my pocket by the second. "Are you ok?", she asked breaking me from my spell.

"As okay as I'll ever be. Anai can I ask you a question?", she nodded "why won't you guys tell me what's going on. We're friends, aren't we?"

"Quinn it's complicated, we can't tell you quite literally." She pushed her sleeve down and there was a tattoo of wings on her forearm the design was intricate and detailed I wanted to run my fingers along it. "If we talk, it burns and indescribable pain that feels like your being burned from the inside out. I'm sorry but you have to figure it out yourself." She stopped talking at stared behind me Xena was there with a smile on her face.

"What are you guys talking about.", tilting her head to the side.

"Nothing really." Anai answered shrugging.

Xena's eyes went to the picture into my hand.

"You guys we're friends?" , I asked my voice above a whisper.

Xena's face turned downcast. "Sometimes truths are more dangerous than lies. The secret you try to keep can end up killing you and everything around you."

I was back in my room staring at the address in my hands. It was a little after the midnight the dorms where quiet apart from the security guards surveying the area. The crunch of their boots against the gravel. Laying on the floor I allowed my mind to drift off. Faces clouded my vision, Xena, Xavier, Anai, Jonathan and Jesse. They were my friends or were they.

What is Nathan to me, the air became electrified when we were together. His eyes haunting me. I didn't even understand our connection and I wasn't going to ask at least not yet. Valerie has been more amiable to me, her snide marks are low enough for me to catch one once a while.

Fairy and Andrew were a case of their own. Memories of the hospital flashed before my eyes. I remembered the doctor who tried to kill me and my friends his red eyes will forever scare my every wakening moment.

I was never comfortable with seeing bodies but there will be more and I know this, the task was to find out what was causing them and why it surrounded my existence.

I wish Ben was here, he would know what to do

Maybe I should try to reach out to him, I'll ask the Principal tomorrow. I continued to lay of the floor the cold floorboards kept me awake. My room was dark the only source of light being the moon.

Then I heard it the sound of something hitting against the window. Standing up I walked slowly afraid of what I may see. My paranoia was getting the best of me. The rocks were not large enough to break my window but not to small that I wouldn't hear the sound.

Peering from behind the bars the moon reflected Andrew's face. He actually came, clad in black from top to bottom his olive skin looked darker he stuck close to the tress when he noticed I had seen him, he nodded in my direction and scaled the tree to hide from the guards. But the question is would I go with him?

I had to if I wanted to find answers