Chapter 8 Change
As I got out the tub I get a call from my old friend of mines from back in 2009. He hit me saying he wanted to hang out or whatever in have some drinks. I took the offer up because I need to drink to clear my mind. I get out my clothes that imma put on in my shoes got to have the drip right. But he hits me up to let me know he on the way to come get me. I got dress hair did or whatever. He pulls up in front of my crib in I grab my keys and bag. We leave out to hit up this other Mexican restaurant in my city. As we pull up to the place we was greeted by some friends. As we all got out the cars to head inside to be seated. I get a call from Tonya. I screened the call in let it go to voicemail. My friend was like why you didn't pick up? Long story my boy long story. We all was seated together at one big table. First thing we did was order drinks.
Man we started drinking shots of tequila and henny. I knew we was fucking up by mixing brown in white liquor together. We kept turning up with nice size cups of liquor. I never felt so num a day in my life I felt as though a weight had lifted up off my back. My friend had to pause the drinking in made us get some food in our systems. We steady trying to keep going. He grabbed my cup like yo slow down before you get to far gone. At that moment I really didn't give a fuck. I just wanted to drink the pain away in forget about everything that happened. He grabbed my cups in said no more so I politely grabbed my shit back in said let me enjoy. He knew something was wrong. He grabbed me like what is wrong with you friend I never seen you drink yourself under like this.
All I could do is move my head like naw, I'm not alright but also don't want to talk about it. As we ate i order more liquor to drown my pain in since I could fall back into the old habit. I picked up a new one an that's drinking. I was feeling good when we got up from the table. Went out side smoked a little weed in relaxed afterwards. I made it back home in one piece. Before I got in bed I checked my phone in it's Tonya. I ignored it didn't even look at it. I was still pissed I got in the tub to ease my mind. I bathed got out in got in my bed in started thinking it's time for change it's time to get yourself together. Stop being super save a hoe to these mother fuckers that don't give a fuck about you.
You got to let them go let them fall on their own. I came up to that conclusion I'm done being friendly to people. My friendly ways only getting my feelings hurt every day. I had to make a change some how an someway. I will forever be last in other people life especially the one's I put first. When I Finally fell a sleep it was the best sleep ever once I let go. I had the best sleep until this one particular night.