Chapter 5.10

Nightmares must have been contagious; the dream started with feelings of fear and confusion. I couldn't remember why I was there, but I was afraid, and I didn't understand why. Everything was dark. I could hear people near me, I could smell them too- the air was moist with sweat and a few of them were sniffing like they'd been crying or were trying not to cry. They sounded like kids.

"What are they going to do with us?" I hear a whisper somewhere off to my right.

"Shhhh…" someone replied.

I wasn't sure how long we were in the darkness, but it felt like eternity, even when my eyes adjusted, I could only make out the outlines of bodies huddled together for comfort.

Then, there was light. The sudden change burnt my eyes, and I resisted the temptation to squeeze them shut. I needed to know what was happening, why we were here, who they were. My eyes watered but I kept them open, I felt the bodies of those around me recoil and scatter to the edges of the room. There were two men outside, one of them was pushing another child into the room, and the other held a gun ready. She fell onto her face, and then quickly scrambled up, retreating away from them.

Past them I noticed it was outside; I could see trees and a road, but there wasn't anything that could help us identify where we were. I realised the room was raised off the ground, and that it wasn't a room at all- the walls were thicker than normal but I could recognise that we were in a storage container, probably on the back of some sort of vehicle.

I gave a quick glance at the others trapped inside. They looked malnourished, dirty and afraid. Some of them looked hurt, and a few must have been there for a while, looking at their condition.

No-one moves, the man held his gun lazily, his attention elsewhere. The door was right there, outside was feet away, yet no one made a move, no one dared tried their luck. Fear had got to them; they'd became its slave.

I noticed something else too- some of them had shadows. There was a cat, an otter, and even a small pony that I could see, but there were probably more in hiding. But fear had got to their shadows too. Instead of standing tall to protect and fight, they were equally afraid as their human counterparts.

A few seconds later, they closed the doors plunging us back into silence. The tension continued for a few moments, until they started to relax a little. They were still terrified, but it wasn't paralysing.

In the next moment the vehicle started to move, causing a wave of children knocking into each other like dominos. Some of them couldn't hold back and started to cry quietly, but the journey was long, and their tears dried up. We got used to the rhythm of the journey, so when they pulled to a stop, it caused a surge of mummers. We waited and nothing happened.

Suddenly the doors are flung open. We weren't outside anymore; the ceiling was high and there were weak fluorescent lights hanging from the ceiling. I could tell the compound was large, like some sort of warehouse. Sounds I couldn't put a name to echoed and bounced off the walls.

The kids scattered to the walls. One of the men dump a box onto the gap and immediately close the door behind him. In less than a second a frenzy starts, all around me children fling themselves forwards it, pushing and kicking others out their way. The box is ripped apart and its contents spill out. They scramble for its contents, flinging themselves to the floor into the fray of stray kicking feet. I saw a few of the kids get kicked had in the face as they tried to snatch away one of the items, they were knocked back and hit their head hard on the ground, but as soon as their heads cleared, they were desperately back at it again.

Then it was calm again. All the contents were gone, children nervously cradled their spoils, and nervously glanced around at the others as they nibbled at what little food they'd managed to scramble.

Hours after that, some of the kids are snoring lightly, huddled back together for comfort, the brutality of the battle of food, forgotten. I was still awake when the container doors open again, some of the kids stir but others still sleep on. I saw a silhouette lean forward and grab the closest child. They grab her leg and drag her towards him; she wakes up and her expression floods with dread, she flings out her other leg, attempting to kick him with it, but instead he grabbed that leg too. She wriggled under his grip turning over her body and reaching out with her fingers for anything she could grip onto. But she was too weak, and he easily overpowered her. She disappeared into the light, having been hauled over the man's shoulder like a rag doll.

We stare on, looking at the space where the girl used to lye, until we were plunged into darkness again.

A few moments later, the screaming began. It was a high-pitched squeal of utter fear and agony. It was so sudden and contrasted greatly against the silence that I felt my body physically flinch against the noise.

The screams go on, it sounded like her throat had gone raw, but even through that, she screamed. Until she didn't. That was almost as shocking. Then the doors creak open again and the girl is thrown into the container. She doesn't move, she lies where she was thrown, her hands cradled to her chest. If it weren't for the quivering rise of her chest, she would have looked dead. I noticed something flickering at her feet- a shadow- but its form was unclear, and I couldn't tell what sort of creature it was. On her back, crudely written over her dirty school shirt was C1 in Garlantian characters.

Time passes and the doors open again and again, stealing away a child each time to torture, and each time they would return slightly more broken wearing the expression of someone who'd experienced something far too horrible to describe. Each time their clothes were branded with C followed by a number. Each time those doors opened we rushed to squeeze ourselves to the back, pushing and shoving to be as far back as possible; but not everyone could be at the back, and each time someone was taken without fail.

The sounds of their screams… It turned my blood cold and froze me in place. The sound echoed in our ears and in our minds, over and over. I could no longer tell if the sound was actually there, or if it was just echoing in my mind.

I felt like I was seven years old again. The years I spent in Garlantia conditioned fear in me that was so strong that I don't think it could ever go away, I thought it could, I thought I could forget. But… like a flick of a switch the fear so strongly conditioned in me was back. I was a shivering child again, faced with the cold, dark and fear.

Some of them had switched off, all of their emotions- just gone. Their expressions were lifeless, and they sat, staring into nothing, like they weren't really there. Almost as if full catatonia had settled in.

Then suddenly its gone, like being plunged into cold water my body is jerked from the dream. It was disorientating and sickening, but I suddenly notice the sky above me is dark maroon, not black or blue, there were pebbles underfoot and a large lake stretching out before me, reflecting the moon. I realised where I was, and I felt Shadow behind me.

"What are we doing here? What was that?" I asked, I hesitated before continuing, my stomach twisting in knots, "is that what's going to happen to those kids?"

He doesn't reply, but I don't need him to. It was something that hadn't happened yet. I stared at the dark pool of water, I didn't see anything more, but the dark depths were consuming. I couldn't look away. I felt numb and sick.