OVER AND OVER
Saiph threw himself on the window divan. Not regretting his actions but maybe the consequences.
She sat on the floor next to him, on her knees. With her hands placed in his lap.
Then she realized, that she longed for someone and he is broken by not having someone . His eyes showed defeat and pain.
She put her hand around his face. He looked as if he was trapped within himself, he wanted something he could never have .
She moved forward to kiss him, but he turned his face away .
" I don't want to treat you like this " , he said helplessly.
" like what? " she asked. She thought he meant ,all the girls he sleeps with , he uses and then leaves them, without a single thought, without slightest of care, without love.
He just looked at her and shook his head :" any way " he whispered in painful voice.
He was resisting her, but his eyes were demanding her badly.
" anyway !!" she whispered and kissed him, laying him back and getting on top of him.
She unconsciously slipped her hand into his shirt. His skin was tight and abs was traceable.
Saiph held her wrist to stop and pull out her hand. Her hand flowed around his waist to his back and she felt something uneven , his skin was unalike around the curve of waist. As she touched it , Saiph forced her hand out and he jerked away from her .
" No, Bliss stop, I can't "he breathed heavily.
He was too troubled. Bliss wasn't sure what happened but she didn't want to force him in his strange distress.
" OK, I won't..
" no, please ...
" I said I won't do anything
" no, I can't do....
" hey, it's okay ...
" sorry, I'm so...
" shut up " she laughed.
He took some deep breath. " I should go.. I should leave... " for some reason he was out of breath.
" can we talk? " she asked sweetly.
" I don't think... "
" about the meat you put in the vegetable soup " she leaned close to his face.
He though for a moment and then smiled.
" and the onions you put in my bread roll " .
He laughed out, " they were in the recipe " .
" that you invented? " she joked.
He chuckled " well, yes " then he laughed hard " it was so bad "
" indeed, indeed " she ran fingers through her hair and he didn't mind.
" I threw away mine after you left " , he forgot to breathe while laughing.
" and I threw up after I left " she chortled.
And she kept joking to make him feel good. Their faces were centimeters away, but the distance nor shortened nor grew for the next hour.
She talked and talked, and they laughed at every silly things they did together.
The fireworks outside, shined on their faces from the window, at midnight.
" happy new year " he whispered.
" well my last year's resolutions included killing you " she smiled.
" and mine.. " he closed his eyes while laughing at his own thought.
" what? " she giggled.
" nothing " he dropped her from over him to his side and turned his face to her " that you'll come to me crying and beg me..
" oh ! As if.. "
" you will sit in my feet for forgiveness " he roared laughter.
And hours went by like that, both enjoying a company they never had, savouring the feeling of having someone. Relieving all the pain of loneliness, by laughing together. Wishing they never feel the helplessness ,they live in , ever again.
Just two empty people filling each other.
**********
Saiph woke up ,Bliss was laying near him . He got up , rubbed his eyes ,and taking out cigarette from his pocket he left out of the door.
You have permanently stolen my peace of night .
The words rang in his ear and he walked away from the apartment, leaving everything right there, carrying on with his usual life.
My life is all , slow down -move fast
Little joy, so make it last
Sit alone and rewind
Lost tracks and lost time
Learning how to let go
Or holding things that ain't mine
What did I do?
Where did it go?
Nothing do I know
So baby take is slow
Cuz it's all we have
It's all we got
When it'll be lost
We'll have no more