I'm Free

You've instilled self hatred in me 

since i watched you fuck your life up

and then listened to you hate me 

and tear me down 

because you hated yourself

i grew up seeking love 

from men who never would love me

to fill the void your vengeful words carved into me

i believed you were getting better

i honestly thought you had changed

until you treated my illnesses like weaknesses

until you looked me in the eyes 

and told me all i ever do is fuck up

until you threw a taco at my head 

because you wanted one they didnt have

until you pushed me to leave

and then guilt tripped me

and belittled me 

because i was dying in your grasp

i love you 

i always will

you brought me into this world

and if it wasnt for how shitty you treat me

and if it wasnt for how little you make me feel

i wouldnt be as strong 

and vibrant as i am now

i wont let you dim my light anymore

i am me

just because it was you who conceived me

doesnt mean i am destined to be like you

i know you love me

and i know youre trying

but until you realize im not your kicking post

im not gonna stick around

and watch you self destruct 

its time i saved myself and not you for once

its time you realized

that i am tired 

of hurting 

from someone who has always 

been weaker than me