Three.

I can pin point exactly what time it was when Cole James decided to message me again. I realised I must have offended him with my comment because even though he was active, our chat box remained empty. I sat every night, scanning his profile and chewing my bottom lip continuously. Eventually, the skin became torn and bloody, peeling off my lips. My fingers hovered over the keyboard until I eventually gave up, slamming my laptop shut and heading to bed.

But today, today is different.

I uploaded a new picture to my profile. . .

Nothing special.

Just a picture of my trainers sinking into the freshly fallen snow on the way to school. I remember looking down at them, thinking how cool it would be if I snapped a picture in that exact pose so I did it.

Two minutes after uploading the picture, a new message notification popped up on my screen from Cole James. I couldn't contain the smile that lit up my face as I quickly clicked on it, my heart rate increasing. I don't know why he was affecting me so much, maybe it was the obsession beginning to fester inside of my brain.

Cole James: Cool shoes. It's snowing here too, do you like the snow?

I quickly typed back a response, relieved that he was messaging me once again.

Aspyn Leigh: I like the snow in the morning, when it's thick and fresh with no footprints. I like the way it covers everything like a blanket, creating a blank canvas for us to use.

Cole James: Wow Aspyn Leigh, that was pretty deep. I'm smiling at your unique personality, it's so refreshing.

That's when I feel it. The tiniest of flutters inside my stomach. I pause and glance down at it, my eyebrows creased together in confusion.

It's so refreshing.

"He thinks I'm refreshing," I murmur to myself, a small patch of heat beginning to grow on my cheeks. People don't call me refreshing, I'm more commonly known as weird or peculiar. I decide to play it off cool.

Aspyn Leigh: Thanks! What about you? Do you like the snow?

Cole James: How can I top your answer?

Aspyn Leigh: Give it a try, I bet you can.

A few moments pass and I picture Cole James sitting at his laptop or computer, thinking hard about my question. I wonder what he looks like when he concentrates and remember the picture I saw of him reading a book. Is that the same expression on his face now?

Cole James: Snow to me is pure beauty. When I look outside my windows, a sheet of pure white covers what usually would be a mundane looking street. It brings sheer excitement to innocent children everywhere, isn't that magical? That something as simple as the weather can do that?

I read his words, barely breathing as I take it all in. A warm flame ignites inside my chest, spreading throughout my limbs. It's been so long since I've felt inner warmth.

Aspyn Leigh: Yes, I do think it's magical.

Cole James: I knew you would, you get me Aspyn Leigh. I feel it.

Aspyn Leigh: You really think so?

Cole James: My gut tells me so. My gut instinct is never wrong.

Aspyn Leigh: I sure hope so because I enjoy messaging you Cole James. You're a breath of fresh air in a world of pollution.

Cole James: Ah Aspyn Leigh, you're making me blush.

His response causes me to blush. Why is it so much easier talking to someone through text? You don't have to worry about stuttering or saying the wrong thing. You type out a response, edit it and send it. Simple as that. If only I could live my entire life online . . .

I fall asleep that night with the warmth inside my body keeping me company. I don't realise how much I missed it, friendship. It appears Cole James came into my life exactly when I needed a distraction. I don't think he quite realises how much a simple message means to me. It drags me away from the harsh reality of my life and that to me is sacred.

*****

I wake up to the sound of smashing and loud bangs. My mind is disorientated for the first few seconds until I begin to hear the frustrated screams and yells coming from my parents.

"I'm leaving and I won't ever be coming back!" My father screams, his voice a high shrill in the air. There's a pause and I picture my mother breathing in sharply, ready to explode at him.

A second passes before she begins to screech like an animal, her tone causing me to wince and pull the duvet over my head.

"You're a useless father and an even useless husband! I hate you George, I hate you!" She cries out before I hear something that sounds like a plate smash to the floor once again. I stare at my bedroom wall, my eyes following the green pattern of the wallpaper. I reach out with my finger and trail over it, blocking out the sound of my parents arguing and breaking stuff. I automatically pull out my phone from under my duvet, logging into the app before clicking on the chat box with Cole James.

Aspyn Leigh: Hey.

One word. That's all my brain can come up with right now. One simple word. I send the message, using my free hand to cover my ear exposed to the screaming. I press down hard causing the screeches of my parents to turn into a muffled sound. I stare at my screen, I stare at it so hard that my eyes begin to water.

Only seconds pass before he responds but those seconds feel like hours.

Cole James: Hey, what's up?

I pause and hesitate, questioning whether I can trust him enough to tell him what's going on. Will Cole James even care that my parents can't spend a single day without screaming, arguing and crying? Will he care that I feel detached from the world again and it's only seven am in the morning?

Aspyn Leigh: I'm not sure. I feel really numb, like I'm not really here.

My fingers quickly send the message and for the first time since speaking to him, I don't overthink my responses.

Cole James: Talk to me Aspyn Leigh. What's on your mind right now?

Aspyn Leigh: I really really really hate my parents. Scrap that, I loathe my parents.

Cole James: Ah, parents. You can't pick and choose them and unfortunately some of us get stuck with terrible ones that we can't trade.

Aspyn Leigh: You're right. I have parents that are pretty high on the terrible parent scale. I don't know why I'm messaging you, I apologise.

Cole James: Don't apologise Aspyn Leigh. I enjoy talking to you.

Aspyn Leigh: It's weird.

Cole James: What is?

Aspyn Leigh: You're the first person that I wanted to speak to.

Cole James: I'm flattered. Are you still feeling numb?

Aspyn Leigh: No, you sort of bring me back to reality. . . Or what I want to be my reality?

Cole James: We can call it our reality. How does that sound? Our own world we can escape to.

I inhale sharply, the butterflies appearing in my stomach once again. It's beginning to become a regular occurrence with Cole James.

Aspyn Leigh: I'd love that.

Cole James: So it's set. Can you do something for me Aspyn Leigh?

Aspyn Leigh: Go ahead, ask me.

Cole James: Smile.

Aspyn Leigh: I don't ever smile.

Cole James: That's a shame because I can imagine you to look exceptionally pretty if you do.

I re-read his message over and over again, my stomach twisting and turning in different directions. Despite my protests, I feel my lips tugging upwards into the faintest of smiles.