A damsel in distress

It didn't took long for Lisiah to attract attention.

She had long entered the village close to her temple.

"Hey there, pretty girl. Where are you going? If you need a place to sleep my door is is open", a man yelled and his friends laughed and whistled.

Calmly, she just smiled and continued walking.

Your stats really aren't good, old man.

Looks: E-

Charm: D-

Tragic, really.

I couldn't live like that, she thought.

Makes you feel bad for him...

But hey, at least he found a group of friends where all of them are ugly!

Good for them!

Continuing her way to the next tavern, she observed and rated everyone around her.

Looks: D+

Charm: F

Oh boy, he will have a tough time finding a partner.

Looks: A

Charm: B

Will you look at that!

Not bad!

Not bad at all, young lad!

Too bad I'm very picky and have high standards but I'm sure you'll have a great life!

Only SS ranks are acceptable.

S might be ok as well bit everything beneath that really isn't for me...

Having lived for 400+ years, seeing all kinds of beauties, really made my standards skyrocket.

What a shame, I might never be satisfied by mortals ever again...

And I didn't even take a look at their compatibility with me yet.

Sighing in disappointment, whether at herself and her standards or at the looks of those around her was impossible to tell.

At the tavern, she took a seat and ordered the strongest alcoholic drink they had.

Shocking everyone who was observing her, she emptied her drink in one go and immediately ordered the next.

One of her biggest flaws had always been that she was a raging alcoholic.

But oh well, everyone flaws.

Even an immortal like her.

"Excuse me, miss?"

A sweet looking girl approached her.

She looked like she was around 12 years old.

Looks: A+

Charm: S

Not bad, little girl.

To have great stats at such an age already.

I'm genuinely impressed!

You'll be a beauty once you are an adult!

"Can I help you?", Lisiah, who had taken a liking to the little girl, asked softly.

"Ah... Well, I...", the girl stuttered shyly while twisting her body awkwardly.

"I- I was wondering if you could help me. You are a priestess, right?"

Lisiah nodded and the girl smiled, hope shining brightly in her eyes.

"My mother and my father aren't on good terms. Father says that Mother is possessed and that she will end up killing us all of we don't burn her"

Wow.

That was a plot twist I really didn't expect, she thought.

Burn her?

What use would that have?

"If she really is possessed then burning her would only set the being inside her free and give it the opportunity to find a new host to reside in. It would be completely useless", the young 'priestess' commented and the little girl paled.

"Then, can you help her? You can, right?! Please! I'm begging you!"

The girl threw herself at her, grabbing her gown with tears in her eyes.

A half demon exorcising another demon would be awkward...

Oh well, let's just hope it's not a family member.

"Alright, calm down, little one. I will see what I can do, ok?"

The girl wiped away her tears and nodded thankful.

"Good. Now sit down and tell me what your name is and about the behavior of your mother", Lisiah said and patted the seat next to her.

Obediently, the sweet child sat down and took a deep breath to calm down.

Meanwhile, Lisiah ordered some food for herself and the girl.

"My name is Anni, I'm 11 years old. My mother was always very loving and gentle but a few months ago she started being angry a lot and destroying things. She fought a lot with Father but to me she was still very sweet and kind. I don't think she's possessed and that Father did something to anger her but he always talks about burning her and is being mean to me"

That... That hit a bit too close to home...

"Do you know if he sees another woman?"

Anni frowned and ate a bit of the food the 'priestess' had placed in front of her.

"He's very close with our neighbor, who's wife recency commited suicide"

Oh wow, ok then.

"Is it known as to why she killed herself?"

Anni was shaking her head at first but then hesitated and leaned closer.

"It is rumored that she was so bitter and heartbroken that ended her life because her husband is having an affair with Father"

A gay affair of selfish idiots who can't even hide it properly.

Incredible.

"Do you think that's true?", the immortal asked and the little girl nodded.

"Well... I guess that explains your mother's violent behavior"

"Yes but I think she's also really angry that Father stopped her from going to her lovers even though he himself has an affair"

Wait what?

"Her lovers?"

"Yes, our other neighbors, a married couple, are her lovers"

They stared at each other for a moment.

"So let me get this straight. Or not so straight hehehe", Anni just looked at her in confusion and Lisiah coughed and moved on, "Yozr father has an affair with your neighbor who's wife killed herself because of it. And your mother has an affair with your other neighbors but your father doesn't allow her to visit them because he's pissed that she has an affair as well?"

Anni nodded happily.

Urgh, what a mess.

Mortals are wild.

" So the actual problem is that your father is jealous and wants to burn her, correct?"

"Correct"

Alright, that wasn't too hard, was it?

What a weird family.

"I will talk to your family after we are done with eating", Lisiah promised.

After paying, they left and Anni brought her to a nice looking cottage.

Pretty, I like it.

"Mother, Father I'm home!"

Stepping into the house, Lisiah was ready to greet Annie's parents but she didn't even manage to bring out one word.

"HOW DARE YOU BRING HOME A WHORE??", a, quite ugly looking man, yelled and she felt her eyebrow twitch.

Looks: F

Charm: F-

Who are you calling a whore you fat piece of shit???

I'll make you suffer you asshole!!

Before she could burn him into the ground, a woman interfered.

"Don't you dare being rude to Annie's friend!!", she hissed viciously and slapped him without hesitation.

Ooooh, I love her already.

Looks: S

Charm: S

No wonder Anni is such a beauty already.

The fierce beauty turned to her and smiled.

"Please, excuse my worthless husband. He has no manners what so ever but I guess you can't expect much from a man who forced someone into suicide", she said sweetly while slandering her husband casually.

"Arraged marriage, I take it?", she asked and the woman sighed.

"I always liked woman but my parents just didn't accept it"

"They could have at least married you to a handsome man instead of a pig"

She smiled brightly and agreed.

"But at least our neighbor let's me be with his wife under the pretense of me sleeping with them both. He's a very kind and gentle person and doesn't mind that his wife isn't interested in men, at all. He even supports our relationship. But enough of that. I'm Ilona, Annie's mother, nice to meet you"

"I'm Lisiah, a priestess. Anni explained the situation to me in hope that I could help"

"Lisiah, hm? A beautiful name for a beautiful woman... If I wouldn't already be deeply on love with my sweet Nika, I would definitely give you a try. A shame", Ilona said and licked her lips.

"If your Nika is interested as well, I wouldn't mind giving the both of you my full attention", she flirted back and winked coquettish.

Why not seize the opportunity to have some fun?

Before Ilona could answer, her worthless husband interrupted us.

"You fucking whores! YOU ARE ABNORMAL!! YOU DISGUST ME!! YOU-"

Annoyed, I punched him withand successfully broke his jaw.

Who's abnormal?

You yourself are sleeping with a man, idiot!

"Stop yelling, pig. The adults are talking"

Turning back to Ilona, and Anni who was standing behind her mother, I put back on a smile.

"To come to the problem you have. If I kill him, would your nice neighbor take you in?"

Ilona nodded.

"Yes, we already talked about it and he said that he would take me as his concubine and adopt Anni as his child"

"Would that be OK with you?", Lisiah asked and looked at Anni.

The sweet girl shrugged and nodded, seemingly unfazed that her father was whimpering in pain with blood gushing over his face.

"Great! Killing him it is then! We can later burn his body and say that he was possessed and had to be excorcised and burned so that he won't bring any bad luck to the village"

Mother and daughter agreed and so the half demon kindly 'excorcised' the man by calmly beating him to death and then burning him.

Whew!

It feels good to know that have done a good deed!

Ignoring the fact that she had just murdered a helpless man in cold blood and called it a good deed, Lisiah returned to Ilona and Anni.

"He won't bother you again"

"Thank you so much, kind priestess! If I grow up I want to be like you and murder all bad people in the world!", Anni exclaimed and I laughed at that.

"That's a great dream, little one! I'm sure you'll achieve great things!"

"Here, please take this as a reward. My Nika sadly isn't interested in having a good time with you so that's the least I can do", Ilona said and handed me a bag filled with gold coins.

Holy shit!

Just how rich are they??

Noticing the surprised look on her face, Ilona laughed softly.

"Our neighbors, now new family, are nobles so don't worry abitt taking it. These are 500 gold coins. You earned them"

500 gold coins??

I killed a dragon in my last life and got only 300 gold coins for it!

Fuck, if I ever encounter one again I'll take it in and just let it burn adventurers and steal their gold instead!

Who would have guessed that killing people was this rewarding?

I really am luckier in this life and I was reborn just yesterday!

Taking the money graciously, the reborn immortal smiled at them gleefully.

"I'm very happy with your generous reward. May you have a wonderful and happy life!"

"I hope we will see each other again!", Anni said and Ilona just gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Till next time"

The 'young' woman turned around, waved and left.

Looking at the sky, she noticed that it was getting dark.

I don't necessarily have to sleep and I heard there quite some treasures in the forest nearby so...

I'll go and see if I can find something valuable!

In her last life, the forest had become famous for all kind of treasures such as rare wolf's and herbs and even dragon eggs after 100 years.

How OP would it be if I would hatch me a dragon?

The other gods will probably cough blood when they find out.

After all, dragons are immune to our special abilities and magic.

Ah, it will make killing them and everyone else so much easier!

Filled with eagerness and excitement, our protagonist made its way to the unnamed forest.

It would probably take a while looking around to find anything and you would have to be really lucky...

Luckily, she didn't have to do that!

Earkyon in her last life, Lisiah had created an spell that allowed her to scan her surroundings for rare and valuable treasures.

Why?

Because another flaw of hers was that she was lazy.

And what could be more useful than a spell that allowed her to search for treasures without having to move? Even more so, she managed to upgrade it and now the treasures would just appear in her storage ring.

Meaning, she could activate the spell and just wander around and gather treasures just like that.

If only she had a spiritual weapon or animal that allowed her to fly around.

Ah, that really would be perfect.

After wandering through the forest for a while, she suddenly registered the presence of a strong spiritual creature coming towards her.

A blue snake shot out of the bushes around her.

The snake, definitely poisonous, was as big as the trees surrounding her.

A truly gigantic animal.

Very powerful as well.

The animal hissed at her viciously.

"Huh, I wouldn't have guessed to meet such a big snake her", Lisiah commented calmly.

"You are no mere mortal. What have you done to me? I'm being pulled towards you some kind of force!"

Ah, a female.

"Oh, that must be because of my spell. Sorry for that"

"I don't care for your apologies! Let me go!!"

Rude.

"I don't apologize often, you know? You better appreciate it!"

"I'm a king's snake! I don't appreciate anyone!"

"You have quite a temper, don't you?"

"STOP MAKING FUN OF ME OF I WILLEAT YOU!!"

"I'm pretty sure I'm not very tasty. Half demon, half goddess? Probably not a tasty combination"

"You- what? Half demon, half goddess? What weird kind of joke is this??"

"I'm not joking. Go ahead and sniff me if you want"

If a snake could frown she most definitely would do that right now but still, the king's snake leaned in and did what I said.

"Huh. Weird"

"I prefer unusual. My father calls me unwanted and freaky often enough"

"A goddess with daddy issues? I wouldn't have guessed that exists"

"Oh believe me. That's pretty normal. An immortal with mommy issues? Not so much"

Tilting her giant, but fairly pretty, head, the snake stared at her unblinkingly.

"Why don't you come with me? This forest is pretty boring, isn't it? At my side, your life will never be boring. Believe me, it's impossible to be bored when you're with me"

"Are you serious?"

"Of course", Lisiah responded, pouting cutely.

"Well...fine, why not. But I refuse to be your pet"

Lisiah shrugged at that.

"Fine by me, I want a dragon as a pet anyway. Or a cute dog. You can be my lover if you want", she added and winked at the snake.

Unfazed, the snake was silent for a moment.

"Your mother was a succubus", she stated and Lisiah nodded.

Sighing, who would have guessed that snakes could sigh?, the snake agreed.

"I will accompany you. We'll see about the lover thing. I will stay in my snake form for now. I'm not yet powerful enough to take on a human form"

Sliding towards me, the snake shrunk till she was only as thick as my arm and then curled around my neck.

"What should call you, by the way?"

"Kiyne"

And with that, Lisiah continued her way through the forest, gathering treasures effortlessly, with Kiyne around her neck.

Ah, it's not to go on adventures with friends who might even become your lovers!