Joan: The world of LGBT

Joan : 14 years

Three days before Liza was to leave for UK, she invited me to her home. It was my final visit to her home.

"I'll come to pick you up in the evening okay dear" says mom dropping me off.

Although its been only a year, I've grown attached to Liza in a unexplainable way. She was my alarm who made sure I got up on time. When I was feeling down she would crack stupid jokes to make me laugh. She would transform into a teddy bear if I craved for a hug. When it was examination week she'd make sure I ate food on time. Now standing in front of her very well knowing that I'm gonna loose it all in three days broke me to pieces. I stood at the front door trying my level best to hold back the tears that had formed around the edges of my eyelashes.

Liza opened the door and hugged me while I stood speechless not knowing how to react to the tight embrace. The feeling it projected was different from the usual ones she gave me. I could clearly see that she was hurting. I wanted to return the hug but somehow at that moment I felt as though I lost control of my muscles. My heart beat like crazy as if it wanted to burst open out of my chest and run away. Liza just stood there hugging me and never moved. I could feel my shoulders getting wet from her tears.

"Hey Liz, it's okay. I'm here. " I tell her, gently patting her head.

"Oh sorry Jo, come in. I just.. Uhh" Liza says trying to force a smile.

"That's okay. Where's your mom ?"

"She went out."

I followed Liza to her room. Her room looked unusually messy. Books and clothes were thrown to the floor and at a corner were broken shards of glass ; a clear indication that, she had quarrelled with her mom.

"Sorry about the mess. I.. Uhh"

"That's okay. I get it." I say patting her shoulders in an attempt to calm her down.

"You know what.. Let's go up to the balcony. I'm not feeling comfortable here." Liza says looking more weary than ever.

It was 6 pm in the evening. The clouds turned grey, shedding cold droplets, filling the atmosphere with the petrichor scent. We sat on the cold ceramic floor with Liza leaning her head against my shoulders. We sat there for, I don't know how long, watching the rain soak the green leaves and the brown earth.

"Hey Liz, is there any way for you to stay back? Do you really have to go?" I ask leaning my head against the cold wall.

"Yeah, I have to, Jo." she sighs.

"How am I even gonna survive school without you? I'm already feeling panicky and thinking about it and now you're gonna leave me and you're gonna find new friends over there and then you would eventually drift away from me and I wouldn't have anyone to tell all my random stupid thoughts and then I'll die of depression and I'll become a ghost and then... . " I blurt out almost tearing up.

"Oh my god , this stupid girl. Now, Jo listen to me, no matter how many people enter or exit my life, you would always be the special one. You are my my oxygen. You hear me. I'll never leave you. " Liza says cupping my face with her slender palms.

"Really?"

"Yeah! Puppy face. In fact you know what, I will cling onto you like an octopus and then you will have to kick me out, cuz I'm here to stay. " Liza says almost chocking on her own laugh.

" You will? "

" Yeah, I promise to text you everyday. You know like those couples in a long distance relationship. We are gonna be exactly like that. " Liza says smiling.

"Silly, but two girls can never be in a relationship. That's not possible. You can only fall in love with a man. " I tell her with a shy smile.

"Who told you that?" Liza asks me excitedly.

"Well, I've not seen any girls fall in love before and besides can two girls make a baby?" I was confused. In fact I never gave much thought into it. I never watched porn, hell I didn't even know that porn existed because I never owned a PC or a phone or Internet. I was a loner, who knew only a handful of people of my age and none of them spoke to me about these kind of things. So in short I was an ignorant thirteen year old who used to blush hard when two couples made out in movies.

"You know you really don't need men to make a baby now days. With technology and science almost anything is possible now days" Liza says smiling.

"Huh?"

"Don't you know about the LGBT community?"

"LGBT what?" I ask her puzzled.

Little did I know that this new knowledge was gonna change my life forever.