Liza: Pained Heart

Liza: 18 years

Location: London

As days passed, Olivia and I, became really close friends. She flirted with me at every opportunity she got. She would hug me openly. She sometimes gave me kisses on my cheeks, which was her way of showing affection. In a way, she reminded me of myself when I was with Joan.

"You are such a cutie pie Liza. Why are you so cute? " Olivia says kissing my cheeks.

"Look Via I know you love Liz like a sister but to the public this might look like something different." Jessica says looking stunned by Olivia's actions.

"Oh you are just jealous cuz I'm the one Liza likes more or is it that you also want to receive a kiss from me?" Oliva says cupping Jessica's face.

"Oh my God, I don't want your kiss." Jessica says bushing.

However Jessica's prophecy came true. Olivia's little stunts led to the rise of many rumours that soon spread like wildfire around the school.

"Olivia and Liza are dating"

"Liza is a lesbian"

"Olivia might be bisexual"

"Lisa is bisexual"

Strangely, it didn't bother me and Olivia didn't seem to care about it either. The "dating" rumour became our little inside joke but everything changed that day when Joan texted me that she had made a good friend named Aquila at school. She also told me that she was starting to develop a crush on a boy. He was a second year college student whom she met through Aquila. Both these news , devastated me, putting me in a difficult position. Later Joan informed me that she had started dating.

The news shocked me to the core. What was I possibly thinking? Joan and myself? It will never happen. She's straight and likes boys. She would probably cut me off if I told her the truth.

I didn't want to risk loosing my best friend. Her friendship was more important to me than my intense love for her. If she's happy with that boy, then I should also be happy for her, even if it meant sacrificing my happiness. So I decided to put a lock on my feelings, hiding it from her and the world.

Later I shut myself down. All the way down to the point of distancing myself from Joan. I began to ignore her messages and whenever she asked the reason, I would either lie I had work to do or make up blunt excuses.

However I failed miserably at containing my anger and sorrow. I refused to talk to my friends and mom. I didn't want to be loved. I didn't want to eat. I shut everyone away.

My mind went to war with my heart; constant war between feelings and reality. Even though I wanted to shout out to the world, I loved Joan, I didn't, my mind kept saying "No Liza, don't do it." 

I needed an escape from my insanity and I finally took refuge in Olivia.