Happier times

The drive to my father's  place was feeling a bit too long. Feeling like it was going to take the whole day to get there. I got closer to a particular robot, immediately I was cut off by a car in front of me. 

Slamming the brakes with brute force, the car made an immediate stop in the middle of the road, blocking the traffic behind. I hooted frantically at the car that had cut me off, noticing it was black, quite similar to the car that had previously chased me a couple days ago. 

Squinting my eyes I tried to read the number plates of the car, but it looked so blurry in my view that I could barely make out the first numbers. The windows of the car were of a dark tint, as if the driver had something to hide. A few seconds later, the car dashed off past an orange robot, gone in the distance. 

"Strange", speaking to myself. 

I continued on to reach my father's place, making it there towards the end of day. His house, a small home with very little space in the yard, was far out of town, as if to say my father was hiding away from the world. 

Knocking on his door like a policeman ready to bust in, with determination written in my eyes. 

 The old man opened the door, opening his mouth to greet me, but I immediately pushed him into the house telling him that, "We need to talk father"

In a world of shock my father sat down on a chair, trying his best to get a grip of what's happening yelling out, " Who the hell do you think you are coming in my home like you own the place"

I could tell he was ready to start up one of his favourite lectures, usually lasting close to an hour. But again, before he could open up his mouth to speak, I cut him off, this time with a simple name. 

"Nelson", I said to him. 

In all my life, I'd never once seen my father lost for words, he always had a lot to say but this time he fell into silence. 

Holding his head down, he finally responded saying, " I guess you know the truth about your brother"

As I looked at him I prepared my words for interrogating. But ironically, I too was cut off before my mouth could open to speak when began to sob.  Like a child who cries for their mother they've lost, my father's cries grew deeper and deeper. Lasting for about thirty minutes. 

I gave him time to contain himself, even doing the most by getting him a tissue. As he began to wipe his eyes he kept on repeating the phrase, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..... "

I asked him why he was sorry, settling myself down for another piece of the story. 

Taking a deep breath, my father began to speak, "I let you all down, you, your mother and brother. And right now I bet you think your mother a she devil, but there were happier times. 

You were always your mother's favourite, this you obviously know. But as time went on I could see a change in your Mother because of Nelson. 

I remember getting home early one day, walking into the house I could hear joyful laughter. I knew it couldn't possibly be you, because I had just dropped you off for soccer training. So I went upstairs to investigate, which led me to you and your brother's room. The site was of nothing I had ever seen, your mother and Nelson both laughing together as they were playing a game of cards on the floor. 

Truthfully it looked like a mother son moment I only seen with you and her. 

I chose not to let them both notice me, going back down stairs, pretending like I just got back in. 

As the weeks went by I kept on investigating more on what I had seen. The revelation was that, Nelson grew to be your mother's favourite"

"What", I yelled out. "How is that possible", asking my father. 

"I know right, but let me finish my story and you'll understand how", he replied. 

Continuing his story he said, "Yes, Nelson was your mother's favourite but only when nobody was looking. 

I guess how it came to be, was due to the fact that you spent most of your time at school and sports, and I spent my time at work. Your mother was the only one who truly  spent the most  time at home with Nelson. 

You see, during my investigation I found out that, Nelson's  character in itself was something your mother never expected, keeping in mind  that he was the youngest. The more time she spent with him, the more her love grew for him. But I guess this whole situation was something too difficult for her to contain by herself, so she chose to act differently towards Nelson when people were around.

But behind closed doors her love for Nelson was SO great, but she had a strange way of showing it"

After hearing this peice of the story, my head began to run, but I had no clue to where. I then told my father of all the events that led to this confrontation. 

With a smile on his face he said, "Your Auntie, she claims to know much but only knows a little" 

"What do you mean" I asked. 

He sat back in his chair ready to add another layer to the already thick story. 

"I chose not to tell your Auntie about my recent revelation of your mother's love for Nelson. Simply because I knew it also  being  too much for her to handle by herself. Her bitterness towards your mother was so great you could easily taste it. 

Though your mother found change because of Nelson, your Auntie would think it a lie, that was made to keep me closer to your mother.  

And yes, your Auntie and I were lovers once, but I fell in love with your mother instead. But your Auntie didn't take it well, thinking your mother stole me from her. 

Your mother knew this well, hence why she banned your Auntie from ever visiting. Till the day she came to the  house unannounced and found me there. I guess I was angry at your mother that week, because when your Auntie came closer to kiss me, I didn't resist. I thought of it being a chance to get back at your mother.  

But ever since that day I've never felt so ashamed of myself. I did both your mother and brother wrong from that day. Simply because she knew what happened and was angered by the fact I made her favourite son hide such a secret. 

And the day your brother died she blamed me for not saving him, because she thought I wanted him to die with my secret.

 Some days I think it to be true. 

And it was from that moment your mother and I split apart. She couldn't handle seeing my face anymore. The devastation she felt must of been so deep, because after that tragedy she tried to erase every memory of your brother. Doing the most of getting the whole town to erase the memory too. 

My biggest mistake was falling into your Auntie's arms when your mother and I split. I really just added more flavor to the bitterness she already had for your mother. 

So this is why I live so far out from the world. I'm hiding in my shame" 

After hearing all this, I got up from my seat and walk away from my father. 

"Where are you going, what are you going to do", he asked in a crying voice. 

I replied saying, " I'm going to my Mother to finally confront her about all this. Goodbye father"

Walking away from him, I slammed his front door behind me. 

Telling myself, "I'm done with this old man"

When no-one is around you and I can be so happy 

But in front of their eyes you are towards me always so snappy. 

Why mother, why,

I never wished for our happier times to say goodbye. 

_Happier Times