Chapter 1: A wound of Ashley
de · pres · sion
/ dəˈpreSH (ə) n /
noun
1. Feelings of severe despondency and dejection.
"self-doubt creeps in and that swiftly turns to depression"
anx · i · e · ty
/ aNGˈzīədē /
noun
a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
"he felt a surge of anxiety"
Love
/ ləv /
noun
1. an intense feeling of deep affection.
"babies fill parents with feelings of love"
cure
/ kyo͝or /
verb
1. relieve (a person or animal) of the symptoms of a disease or condition.
"he was cured of the disease"
"Why do I read this in my sister's browser?" I asked myself.
I checked an email on my sister's laptop because my laptop broke yesterday because it was filled with coffee
"Ashley, don't wonder why you see that in my browser, because I researched about it for awareness too, Because it seems to be in vogue now or that is what millennials like me usually go through"
"Why? Is there a cure? Is there still love?"
My sister sat down in front of me
"Ashley if you have a wound you need the cure, and if you found the cure, you will find the love"
I was a bit confused, so I was just shrug
"Never mind" I said
"By the way, I will take my pictures here, I will print to reduce your storage here" I added
"Go Ashley" she said
I prepared my USB on her laptop and browsed the pictures and I took one by one when I saw an album that I was with a man
I was surprised when I saw a full album that I was with a man I didn't even know who
"Vanessa?" I called her.
"Yes?"
"Who is this?"
She came over then she looked at my laptop then she seemed to turn pale in shock then bowed down then returned to her seat
"Nothing"
"Nothing?! Is this me?! Who is the man?! Why do I not know?!"
"Uh, I just edit it, the guy with you is an actor, I'm a fan"
"Huh? Edit? That's impossible Vanessa, then wait... He's familiar to me"
"Ashley just drink your med—"
"Wait I see that man on a TV show"
"Ashley..."
I felt an itch in my head because something flashed in my brain that was blurry and it only hurt more
"Argh my head aches!"
"Ashley?! Ashley hold on second!"
"Aaaahhhh!!! The pain on my head!!!
"Ashley drink this now"
"I don't like that!!! I don't like that!!!"
"The pain!!! AAAHHH!!!!"
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It is currently raining as I am on my way to school by bus
"This nasty bus is still on time"
It was 3 o'clock in the afternoon when it suddenly rained. I'm still going to school to pass our final revised thesis paper to Mr. Oliveros. So, I was a bit upset because of the background music on the bus
When I saw the good school I was attending, I went downstairs and hurried inside so that I could pass it
When I arrived at Sir Oliveros' room, someone greeted me, and I was surprised
"Oh my bad!"
The two of us looked at each other, and then he raised an eyebrow, and then he suddenly withdrew it and smiled, so I stared at this one
"Wait? Aren't you..."
"Sister!!! You seem to know Sam!!!" His classmate shouted so he turned around.
"Yes just wait !!!"
He looked at me again and then smiled again
"Who are you looking for?"
"Uhm... Sir Oliveros... Is he still there?"
"He is in the comfort room, but it will come back a little later, come in let's go inside first"
He let me in and the others noticed me, the one who was already asking for my name which annoyed me, as if this section had no manners, this gay man keep on shouting at them, and he was taking care of me it seemed like he was the President here in the room because he could only shout and made me sit down
"Hey! Fix your behavior! It looks like you're not a student! Please give some respect!" He said.
"What?! Feel in your corner?! Don't beat this friend of mine!!!" He added.
"Hey you Robert shut up! Please sit down Ashley" The gay man shouted at his one of his classmate, and he told me to sit down with his gentle voice, which made me wonder why he knew me.
"How do you—"
"Okay guys! Let's get started" Sir Oliveros said.
The gay man suddenly left in front of me to take his place, he sat in a group of women and it was obvious that he was his friends
"Sir someone is looking for you!" Gay man also said and pointed at me.
"Oh Ms. De Castro, is it okay?"
I approached Sir Oliveros to give him our thesis paper, and he took it too
"Guys! Please Congratulate to Ms. De Castro because she is one of an honored student, and Granddaughter of Mrs. Manilyn De Castro the owner of this University"
I wish they greeted me politely but then I stopped them because of shame, because I don't like when they treat me like that or other students either
"Oh no no no sir and my fellow batch mates thank you, just seat down hehehehe"
"Uhm, Ms. De Castro what can you say here in this section since you're an assistant in Guidance Counseling"
I looked at the group of men who were rude or paying attention to me who were suddenly embarrassed because they found out that I was a guidance officer
"I will explain everything and please listen carefully, so that everyone can understand, and Sir, you are so good and you handle this section very well. But there are students here who come in, and who have no respect for each other, I'm sorry for the words but the people are so rude. I don't need to mention one by one because I don't even know your name, but you know who you are. Sir Oliveros is one of the best professors I have met but why here are so undisciplined and irresponsible students here? The way you look, like in your proper school uniforms, haircuts, your room, and your behavior, are you always like that when other students or guests come here? Or even your professor come in all the time?
"That's why I tell them a few times to be a proper student, but they don't listen" Sir Oliveros said
He signaled to the students here that "you are broken now" so I stared at the rude fellow students that they really fixed themselves
"If I'm the guidance councilor? All of you will be given a letter or warning or maybe all of you are unfortunate, you know Mrs. Brook how strict she is when it comes to rules and regulations, and guys grow up, we should be matured enough, you should know what to do, we are at school, and we are not at home, and next time if I come back here I expect that there's an of changes, there is nothing wrong with having fun, I do not oppose you there because I have my own happiness but please be a student not a rude to others or gangsters"
Suddenly they apologized to me, so I nodded and then I looked at the gay man who was taking care of me. Who I suddenly remembered him then I saw their class officers and confirmed that he was the President of the room.
"And sir please give Mr. Alfonso a plus points on your subject for being a responsible and well-disciplined not as a Class President but also as a student"
The gay man was surprised and his friends were happy
"Alright sir, this is our thesis paper, good afternoon and thank you"
Sir Oliveros nodded and I left the room, but I was stopped when suddenly someone called me
"Ashley!"
I turned around
"Thank you!" He said.
I smiled and left again
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"Ashley..."
I turned to my mother who came here to my room
"Ashley, you don't go to your work anymore" my mom said
"Are you still not feeling well?" She added.
I looked at the picture frame with the man I loved and then I bowed
"Ashley forget him"
I looked at my mother and I saw that she's worried about my condition
"Isn't this what you all want?! Sadness swallows me and contradicts what I want?!"
"Ashley please—"
"LEAVE ME ALONE"
"Ash—"
"JUST GET OUT !!!!"
My mom fell silent and left, I locked the door and went to the computer to look again at the pictures of the two of us when I saw a video that committed suicide
"I want to die, I want to disappear from the world"
I turned off all the lights and heard heavy rain, so I played the music which reminds me of my happiness in my memories
"I DON'T CARE ABOUT PEOPLE! I AM A VERY BAD PERSON! I DON'T DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! I WANT TO LOSE LIKE A BUBBLE!"
I burst into tears as I smashed empty bottles of wine and even took it out of the refrigerator to drink
It's been like this for 1 month, I have no appetite, I always swallow my insomnia, I've been commit suicide several times, and I don't have any friend to contact, because all I want is to be alone
While I was in the middle of suffering I suddenly saw the picture of my island, my own resort and I thought of leaving this house first. Because I want peace! I want to rest in peace!
I arranged my belongings as well as my credit cards and cash then I went through my secret base out of this mansion. Goodbye to all of you, and I have to do this. When I got to the garage, I used my car and told me that everything was ready, so I looked at the mansion again and then I started to open the engine and start to travel. My family did not know that I had built my own resort, so I was free. I quickly drove my car to my own helicopter and to go on my resort, and please have a good weather because I do not want to die in the air, I want to die on earth
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I'm at the Coffee shop to review. I have a school report by tomorrow, and I need to be serious.
When I did a few double reviews, suddenly someone sat in front of me
"Hi Ashley!"
I looked at who
"There are no more vacant seats and it's good to see you with a vacant seat. Sorry if I sat down right away"
"Well, that's not my case because I'll make you sit down too"
He smiled and then he saw what I was doing
"Your diligence such amazing, can I have a talent of yours? Please donate me some"
I smiled because of his joke
"Why are you here?"
"Uhh, I can't do anything at home, so I thought of hanging out here and I didn't expect you to be here either"
"Isn't that great too? We're just friends on Facebook and if we talk in person you think we're really close"
He smiled
"To be honest, the day we've met I feel light on you, so that's why"
"Well it's a good start" I said
"Do you want us to go to watch movies? We can watch the new show" He said.
"Oh I love movies! Let's go?"
"Let's go"
I arranged my things, and we left to go to the cinema, and we watched the latest movie, which is Romance-Comedy
"Think about it, we will meet in person even if no plan has taken place"
"Yes, Kenzo Miguel Alfonso right?"
"Yes I am"
I held out my hand to him and shook hands
"Asherine Clinthley De Castro, Ashley for short"
I saw in his face the amazement because of my name
"Wow! You parent such an intelligent person huh? I like your name"
I smiled
"Of course"
We sat in the middle seats and enjoyed the so-called "Friend date"
After we watch the movie, we go at the American restaurant and I did not know that we both like this restaurant
"What about you Ma'am / Sir?"
"1 piece burger with fries and Coke the drinks" we said together, so we both looked at each other and then smiled
"That's all?"
"A regular chocolate sundae" we said to the cashier at the same time, so the cashier seemed to be shaking. So I bowed down and he preceded me in paying.
After we took the number, we went to our table and the story continued
"You know, I wondered why I wasn't straight like one day I saw my handsome classmate in our compound and I felt like my neighbor, but not just a neighbor, I felt the butterflies in my stomach"
"Oh, do you like being girly or not?"
"Not that I don't want to, I'm proud that I'm Bisexual"
"Bisexual? Not gay?"
"No, I have 4 ex-girlfriends, and I don't any ex-boyfriend since birth"
I nodded
"Oh"
Our order has arrived
"You? Did you have an ex Bisexual?"
"Hmm... Yes, my last ex"
"Oh oh how are relationship going through?"
"He cheated on me"
"What happen?!"
"You know that while you were still rubbing and doing something you know with his neighbor? If you get what I'm trying to say? Well, that's what he did to me"
He was surprised, so he covered his mouth
"Take note, 4 more man" I added
He was even more surprised so I looked at him
"Seriously???"
"Yup, I'm serious"
He stared at me as he slowly took the burger
"I've been single for 5 years by the way, but it's fine"
I was surprised when he held my hand, so I looked at him
"Why?"
"Did you still love him?"
"Nah! Why?"
"He's worthless"
I was weirded out by his actions, even I was weirded out by myself. Why do I seem nervous?
We are both staring at each other, so I feel like I will drown or I will die of nervousness
"Uh let's eat?" I asked, so he suddenly woke up to the truth and ate.
-------------------------------------------------
"The length of my hair"
I looked at myself in the mirror, I could clearly see my worthlessness in the world. I'm ugly without make up. And this is my hair? I want to cut it.
I looked for scissors in my bag and I brought them well, so I went back to the bathroom, so I could cut my hair alone. The length of my hair up to my waist? Now, I look like a man with the shortness of my hair
"Light on the head too" I said
Then I applied foundation cream and black eyeliner and lip gloss only on my face then I wore black pants then black shirt and I put on a zipper jacket. I took my phone and wallet once out to the restobar.
When I entered the bar with a loud music and smoky opening to me. So, I go to the bartender to order Tequila
Many men entertained me at tables and dancing like crazy. And I just don't give attention until the host spoke.
"Hi guys sorry to disturb you all"
People sat here and then everyone was really listening to the host
"We have a special guest since this is the perfect time for us, So we can just chill a little. A hand of applause for Mr. Dominique Shawn Alvarez also known as Shawn"
They applauded as I focused on what I was drinking
"Hey Erik! Is that Dominique?" said the fat bartender man to his companion.
"Hey bro your brother is really handsome" said the skinny mirrored bartender
The mestizo bartender turned around and smiled
"Hey brothers! He's half beautiful and half handsome okay?" he replied.
Audiences applauded because of his beautiful voice, so I looked at Dominique. And I confirmed that he is gay. His brows are on fleek, and the blush on was so cheeky, specially the lipstick he used was so pinkish. But then it really suits with him.
But wait... why is the sadness of what he sings like what the heck?! There's so many songs in our world why did he choose a sad song?! If he sings the songs of The Carpenters, Air Supply, Westlife, or maybe songs from Adele or Christina Perri. I might have cried it hard already.
I'm crying, just a little but to be honest he's awful! He's penetrating my heart and I'm disgusted. I felt that I no longer happy. Why is he like that?
"Miss? Are you all right?"
I looked in front of me, the mestizo bartender asked, so I smiled and nodded. I drank my Tequila and I smoked, so he gave it to me a new Tequila.
"Did he sing well? That's my older brother" he told me.
"Oh, in fairness he's good. He can be in some television singing contest"
"I have mentioned to audition there once, I don't know why he is not—"
"Erik! Our manager is looking for you, I have something to order for her too" said the bouncer here at the bar.
"Excuse me hehe"
I nodded and let him go. I looked at the singer again, and I was in my seat, at the same time I left the show because I could no longer hear that song. When I came out I hung out on the beach and I played with rocks I saw on the sands and I threw them on the beach. When I got tired I went back inside the bar and told the bouncer to tell their Head Manager to give that bartender Erik an extra salary.
"I'll follow you ma'am"
"Don't you ever say that I am the owner who increased the salary to Erik, alright?"
"Yes ma'am"
"Alright, I'm going to rest"
I left to go back inside when I heard the voice of a group of men
"Please just once"
"Just a moment"
"Are you the singer right?"
"You're gay too, it's impossible that you don't want too"
I looked around where the men's voices were and I saw the singer earlier in the bar and his surrounded by 3 men, so I didn't hesitate to approach it
"Hey what is that?! What are you doing to him?! And he looks so scared"
They looked at me and it was obvious from the look of that singer that these animals were being abused
"Your courage was strong huh?" The big man said.
"Are not you scared?" Another thin man said.
"Why should I be afraid?" I asked.
They smiled, and they approached me
"We know that's your weakness miss, if I were you? I'm going to leave here"
I smiled
"I might even get you out of here"
"What an arrogance, hold on to that when you taste what you are looking for"
The two men approached me but I immediately avoided and I gave each punch to those who approached me, and I was even surprised when the singer gay joined the fight. I was also shocked when I was punched in the stomach, so I twisted but I resisted this skinny and I knelt down with his beloved part of his body. So he twisted in pain and I forced him to stand up properly because they missed the singer. So I took iron for I shall smite them.
When they twisted in pain I pulled the hand of that gay man and ran to the security area case before we arrived. We chased the mute, so I looked for whistle in the lifeguards chair and then I find it and I whistled so many times. The resort security guards arrived, so I punched the guy and became the reason why they were caught immediately.
"Ma'am what happened?" Bouncer said.
"Those are rude people, they almost beat the guest! I have a stomach ache! So hurry up and lock those bastards plus record their names and ban them at the resort, I don't want to see them ever again"
I saw the faces of the mute panics because maybe they got it, or they knew I was the owner of this resort. And this gay singer? Just staring at me.
"Where's Nurse Javier? Take him to the clinic just to make sure that he's okay" I said to my other staff here and gave me water and an ice bag I put in my stomach.
The gay singer was still staring at me, so I was surprised
"Come on guys! Hurry!" I said, so they pulled him to check if he was in good condition.
"How about you ma'am?" my staff said
"No, thank you, please bring your first aid kit to my room, take him away"
I left in front of them to go back inside the hotel and take a deep breath
"I really lost my patience huh? That's so hurt" I just shook my head and looked at myself in the mirror, I had a bruise on the side of my lip.
*Door bells*
I peeked at who
"Ma'am this is the first aid kit"
I opened the door and she gave me a smile
"New nurse?" I asked.
"Yes ma'am"
"So, you are Ms. Quezon right?"
"Yes ma'am, by the way ma'am do you just want me to treat you?"
I shook
"No no no, thank you, you can go ahead and watch over our guest, never say my full name or any information about me especially this room of mine okay?"
"Noted ma'am"
"Alright thank you for this"
I went inside and started treating myself and screamed in pain around my wound
"Damn those morons, why did they enter my resort"
I just brewed ice coffee just in case I calmed down and then I searched for my wallet...
"I haven't removed it yet?" I told to my wallet.
I threw my wallet in the drawer once lying on the sofa
"Dominique Shawn Alvarez also known as Dom... Sounds familiar... I think I heard it on TV or Radio"
I thought about where but I really do not remember where, such annoying
"Why am I still having trouble with that one?!"
I adjusted my seat and drank my iced coffee and trying to forget about what happened earlier
----------------------------------------
"Hey Ashley! Where are we?" Kenzo said.
"Amusement park! My favorite amusement park!"
I parked my car in the parking lot and got out. I brought him here because I knew he wanted to get here. We've been getting along for 2 months now and I feel like I love this gay man.
Every day we both have a dinner date like we go to faraway places to hang out. We look forward to sunrise for a beautiful view. Take a photo here, take a photo there. I found out that he's my happy pill. I don't want to lose him and want him to be always happy. When he hugged me tightly so I hugged him too.
"You didn't fail to surprise me, I love you so much babe"
He pulled me inside. Yes, we call each other a Babe, but we don't have a label yet and it's fine of what we have. We bought a ticket and started to ride. We almost went crazy on extreme rides and I just laughed at him all the time. Because he is not used to ride it, and he almost fainted from the itch.
"Waaaaahhh!! Oh my g! Oh, no! The blood! My daughter!" He shouted as we landed on the roller coaster.
"Feeling pregnant?!"
We laughed and then he put his arm around me
We laughed and then he put his arm around me
"How is our son?"
I raised an eyebrow, and then he looked at my stomach. So I pushed him slightly.
"You're gay and you hate it! Aren't you disgusted!?"
"Wow? That should be my line?!"
"Well, I already used it!"
He walked out like crazy, he didn't know I was thrilled then. He chased me and grabbed my hand and pulled me to the souvenir shop to buy a t-shirt and keychains. After we bought, we went back to the parking lot to go home in case someone called him.
"Hey brother! Here it is"
I saw a child running towards us and then gave him the human size teddy bear
"You're really great! Oh, this is for mom be careful" Kenzo gave something to his little brother.
"Thank you brother, aren't you coming back with us?"
"No, thanks my little'bro"
A pink human size teddy bear that really surprised me, wait for whom?
"Babe for you"
I was surprised so I looked at him
"OMG! Thank youuuu so much!"
"You've made me so happy because I thought he gave you as his gift hehehe" I said
"Where did you get this anyway?" I added.
"I saw it earlier from the carnival because it seemed like I wanted to get the grand prize for you, so that's it"
"That's why you suddenly disappeared"
I put the teddy bear inside my car and hugged him tightly
"You're the greatest love that I don't want to share with others" I said
"This is the best day of my life, I love you" he said
"I love you too" I said, so I kissed him on the cheek
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It was 6:00 am I was lying on the beach and throwing rocks at the sea again
"Why can't this wave just take me so far?" I asked myself.
"Why does no one seem to love me?" I asked again.
"Miss De Castro!"
I turned to see who it was. It was one of the lifeguard here on the beach
"Someone is looking for you"
"Who is it?"
"Mr. Romeo seems to be"
I nodded and went back inside cafeteria and I immediately saw Mr. Romeo is my Private Investigator
"Good morning Mr. Romeo! Have a seat"
"Good morning Ms. De Castro I'm glad that you are here"
"I need to, so what's the news?"
"They have confirmed that they are in a relationship with Ivan Delos Santos, and they have been in a relationship for 3 years, and they are planning to get married, but they are still talking about it now and you have the right decision to come here because there is already trouble in the Mansion. Aside from your family was looking for you, Kenzo went to your house yesterday
"What is he does?"
"He wants to talk to you regarding what happened and is also worried about your loss"
"Okay thank you for the updates, just continue your job, I just want to make sure that no one knows where I am even if my family pays you a lot, you know mom well"
"Noted Ms. De Castro"
I saw a waiter approaching us, so he apologized to the excuse
"Ma'am, someone is giving this to you"
He gave me a bouquet of white roses so my heart seemed to melt in the sense that in this case I did not notice that it was okay with me
"From whom?"
"Dominique is the name"
"Dominique? Who is he?"
I thought who Dominique is
"Our guest that you saved last night"
"Oh okay I remember, thank you but I do not accept flowers"
He scratched his head so hard
"But Ma'am... It's kinda pity because—"
"Okay fine. Please give to Christine and please tell taking care of it, I'll just get a bit of that swelling go ahead please tell to Dominique, thank you and I'm still busy"
Our waiter smiled and then our waitress arrived
"Moki, he really wants to see ma'am what we're going to do now?" Linda whispered.
"Why? What's the matter?" I asked them.
"Ma'am he really wants to talk to you"
Am I really sure that one wants to talk to me or maybe he will just to thank me? Or maybe both?
"Go ahead, let him in"
Linda left
"Moki, prepare our breakfast, our specialty breakfast meal okay?"
"Yes ma'am"
He left and Linda arrived, so I turned around
"Ma'am, Sir Dominique is already here"
He came out from behind Linda, Dominique, a mestizo, handsome, Asiatic eyes with a slightly thin lip, wearing a black and blue summer polo and also white shorts with flip-flops. You can really say that it is not obvious to him that he is gay because he is handsome. Even there is a bruise on the side of his lip. Wait, is this a slow scene? Why does everything seem slow?
"Good morning" he said
I motioned for Linda to leave us, so she left and then I made Dominique sit down
"Have a seat"
"I'm sorry if I carved your waiters, I really want to thank you personally and I will not be quiet until I can talk to you and thank you properly"
I nodded while slightly smile
"It's okay, and thank you for the flowers"
"I thought you were men because of your haircut, I didn't notice that it was a woman who saved me"
"Ah! Is it fine?"
"Yes, it suits you and you look very nice"
Whoa? Are you really a gay man? Kinda interesting hmm...
"No! Don't bother me either, I know you're older than me"
"Hi ma'am/sir this is our specialty for breakfast, scrambled egg, fried ham with beef soup, fresh fried vegetables rice, brewed coffee, garlic-cheese bread, and hotdogs
"Come eat with me, don't be shy" I offered Dominique that I still did not smile
Moki gave him a plate, so I took some fried rice and ham
"Are you the owner of this resort?" His introduction.
"Yes"
"Oh oh why are you alone?"
"I would have named it... Wait next question"
"Okay confirm..."
I wondered
"Confirm what?"
"Confirm that you are broken-hearted now"
"How can you tell?"
"Is that a joke or a serious question?"
"Serious question obviously"
"Based on how you look, I saw you last night that you just arrived with your sadness on your face, then your hair is still long, then suddenly shortened, then early in the morning you have thick eyeliner but it still matters to you, I think it's more appropriate for you to show your natural beauty, I'm not saying that it's not natural but I think you should remove your mask for at least once
I looked at him
"Uhh I said I should keep quiet" he said
"No, it's fine, you're right but not now"
He nodded
"Anyway, later, I hope you can go to the bar, I will sing again tonight, just a work you know"
"I'll try"
"By the way, why don't you let the guests know that you are the owner of this beautiful resort?"
"Just I don't want to"
"Oh... Okay, thank you for saving me last night"
I smiled and ate again in case I felt ashamed because Dominique seemed to be staring at me. So I looked at him and I stopped what he did. He wiped the side of my lip slowly because of the wound.
"It has dirt on your wound"
He ate again while I was like cement hardened due to shock, so I suddenly pinched myself then suddenly ached because of the wound on my hand
"Ouch it hurts!"
Dominique was confused, and he called Linda because of my reaction so Linda and Moki and my other staff came out immediately
"Ma'am what happened?!" Linda's lead.
"Ouucchhhh! Whoaaa! It's okay, I'll be fine! I just hurt the wound on my hand so it's okay, go ahead and go back to work I'll be fine"
They slowly returned to the kitchen and counter while I was still signaling
"Alright, I'm fine" I said
Even though the two were still at the counter looking at me, and I was surprised when he knelt in front of me then he took my hand and removed it the band aid then he took something from his pocket which is also a band aid then there is povidone iodine, and some cotton. It looks like Moki gave it to him which I did not notice.
"It should be cleaned and replaced every time, how can that be healed if you just let it go? It really hurts when you don't take good care of it and you just let go of your wound carefully" he said then he put on a band aid and looked at me, so it seemed I melted he thinks.
"It will also heal, just trust me" he said, and then he stood up
"Alright, I'll go first, I still need to rehearse my song for later, see you later! Thank you again"
He left, and then he said goodbye to Moki, and he completely disappeared from my sight. That one is also a different class. It doesn't look like that one, it looks like --- grrr never mind!