Chapter 2: Closeness

8 pm to be exact when I was at the Bar while drinking some light beer and I was waiting for Dominique to perform. I was stationed at the far side of the bar by the crowd, so that I would not be noticed. I'm wearing all black pants and a jacket so no one should go to my place and I'm easy to get used to "Hello everyone, we have a special guest tonight and please all welcome Mr. Dominique Shawn Alvarez also known as Dominique" They applause and Dominique came out backstage and very fresh face and I was a bit surprised when my phone vibrated

Unregistered number is calling...

I would have stood up and I stop, when Dominique started singing and I did not expect what he sang. I'll never get over you getting over me by Expose. That is one of my favorite song, and I completely ignored those who called me and I just cried

After he sang I left immediately and went to the beach. First I took a deep breath and shouted loudly then threw rocks at the sea then shouted again until I got tired and sat while looking at the sky

"Ma'am! Ma'am!"

I turned to see who it was, and Moki who was obviously in his face of an emergency

"Why Moki? What's the problem?" I asked

"The bar is in turmoil, and a visitor is making a scene that looks like sir's ex—"

I frowned and I didn't finish Moki and hurried back to find out what is happening

"You said where is the one you said before?! The truth is that you still love me!"

"Lance, can we talk outside?"

"Dominique, I won't stop until you come back to me"

"Lance, I said I already have a new one, so stop and don't make a scene here"

"I'll stop you until I see what you are saying before!"

I heard people complaining and scared customers and not being able to approach the guards because maybe that Lance threatened and I won't let my bar be destroyed because of his lame reasons. It was obvious that Dominique didn't know what to do, so I approached immediately and pretended to be new partner to him

"What is going on?" I asked so they looked at me

I stepped aside to Dominique then touched his waist. I looked closely at Lance and it looked like he had swallowed

"What is your problem sir? Do you have any problem in my resort and also to my boyfriend?"

I felt Dominique look at me, so I got closer to him and automatically put his arm around me

"Boy..friend?" Lance asked

"Yes, my boyfriend, baby, what is his problem? Who is he?"

"Uhm, baby... he is my—"

"Ex boyfriend?" I asked

"Yes baby"

"Well, who are you to disturb the fun here? You ruin the essence of happiness here and do you want to be banned from this resort?"

"Why who are you?! You can think that you are the owner?"

"Oh, baby introduce me to him" I said to Dominique

"Uhm... Lance, she is Asherine Clinthley De Castro the owner of this resort... My girlfriend..."

He was shocked and really swallowed again

"Now you choose, you should leave or the guard go with you to leave?"

"But—"

"No buts sir"

I looked at my guard here and motioned for him to leave

"And one more thing"

He turned to me

"Never disturb the person you let go because I am the owner of it"

And he was completely pulled out and then I turned to our customers

"Well, I apologize for what happened between my boyfriend and his ex, please enjoy the show and let's continue party!"

They screamed as I pulled Dominique out until we reached the beach

"My goodness Dominique, why are you bothering me one after another? Do you have mole on your ass?"

"I'm sorry then, I didn't expect him to find me here"

"Next time, be careful to avoid trouble"

"Yes I won't let it happen again, sorry"

"Fortunately, Moki told me right away"

The gay man bowed and then immediately looked at me while making cute so I was surprised

"Sorry baby, I promise that it never to be repeated"

"Yuck! He's already gone! Hey! Stop that!"

I was surprised when he hugged me around my waist, so I was confused

"Why are you so rude now baby?"

"What the cheese!? Let me go! No need to hug like... so disgusting!"

The tightness of his hug on my waist made me even more annoyed

"You're so pretty baby, I'm sorry but I want cuddles"

"My goodness Dominique it's all fine just let go off me"

"I will stop this just in one condition"

"What?! No way!"

"Oh and then I will not get off you"

Is he bored right now? Well, I took a deep breath before to speak again

"Okay fine! What's condition?"

"Tell me the reason why you are here"

"Geez Dominique of course! I need to take a vacation"

"Are you sure that's the reason?"

"Yes of course!"

"I don't believe"

"Argh, you're not funny anymore"

"Tell it first"

"I don't want to"

"Why?"

"Just please get off me"

He seems to feel that I am serious about what I said, so I feel like he's letting go until he let go

"I'll get back inside" I said

I should have left and I got back immediately when he held my hand pulling back to him, so I grabbed his chest and we looked at each other

"If you have a problem, I'm here, willing to wait for you as your friend"

I felt the nervous on my stomach and my heart, and I immediately let go and then I just looked at him

"Okay" I said

I left while holding my chest because the speed of my heart beat as if it was just about to come out

"Is that really gay? It doesn't seem to be"

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I woke up so early in the morning and I was outside the glass door to get some air while watching the sun rise and thought of going to the beach while having coffee when someone suddenly called

Unregistered number is calling...

I answered it right away

"Hello? Ashley?"

I was stopped because...

"Ashley, this is Kenzo"

I took a deep breath before I speak

"Ashley speaking..."

"Finally you answered my call"

"What do you want?"

"You"

"Kenzo, if we talk about the past? Let's end the call"

"Please Ashley let's talk about this"

"Kenzo how many times will I repeat to you? There is no going back"

I got up to go out to the beach

"Please, I really regret it, please forgive me Ashley, I will never do that ever again... Please let me love you for real..."

"Dang it Kenzo! What will you do next huh? You know what let stop this non-sense conversation, goodbye"

I included his number on my block list so that he would not bother me and I kicked the sand in the sea

"Dang it!"

I cried because of the anger and annoyance I feel, and I know already that he is about to get married soon and he wants to get back with me then what?! Will it be my male rival?! Dang it! I was about to throw my cellphone away when someone held my hand so I immediately looked at who it was

"Just calm down"

I stopped and stared at his gentle face that you thought was really an angel who fell to the ground from heaven why does his face seem hypnotizing? I slowly lowered my hand and forced myself to calm down

"It's so early and your head is so very hot just like 12 pm in the afternoon, just calm down" he said and he smiled, so I felt like my heart was softening and I could no longer see his eyes and his dimples came out on both his cheeks. I bent down and looked at the sea again and took a deep breath

"Is that Kenzo... Your ex?"

I was surprise, and he heard everything

"What are you... Oh no" I said

I ignored him and still feel the anger in my heart and what else can I say to Dominique?

"Okay I respect your decision on—"

"We didn't exist, we really didn't exist"

He stopped and nodded so he caressed my back

"I loved him, but he was looking for someone else, he waited for the man to come back"

"So you mean..."

"Yes he is bisexual, it's just a mutual understanding the status of the two of us... and he's getting married sooner or later but he wants to get back with me, why am I? So I'll be a hooker? No way"

He still caressed my back while I cried again, I remember Kenzo again and again

"I know you can say, I still love him because I'm still crying for him but I really want to move on and I don't want him to come back"

"I understand"

"I don't know, I have been to mutual relationship more than my real lover, I wonder if sometimes that do I really deserve to have a partner for lifetime? What's wrong with me? Do I have a personality that people don't want? What's wrong with me?!"

He hugged me while I still crying because of the bait I was feeling this morning. This is the first morning I cried so much

"No, they're just blind, there are so many man out there, not just only him, maybe the real lover of yours maybe you know you're next to him already"

I looked at him because of what he said and I was surprised because of his stretch

"You know maybe I'm the one who replaces your heart, yieee" he said while he's teasing me

I smiled because of his joke. The laugh of mine that I really missed, and I realize that he's cute wait? No! Erase! Erase! Erase!

"Omg? You are laughing and smiling now! Oh my? Am I dreaming? I made her smile finally! To an cold-hearted dramatic queen who owns the resort Miss Ashley! Oh my goodness what a achievement Dominique, I'm so proud"

He was really amazed at himself and he was moving around and it was obvious to him that he was happy that he made me smile. I don't know why I smiled but I need to be serious again. So I immediately returned to my normal expression

"Oh wait! As I said you were beautiful when you smiled"

"Stop it Dominique, your joke was annoying"

"What if I don't want to?"

"It's up to you Dominique! I'll go back now bye"

I left with no expression on my face so when I turned my back on him I smiled again and shook my head

"You're crazy..."

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I went up to Kenzo's unit to invite him to eat outside but when I was in front of his unit I saw the door was a bit pitiful and then it was a bit noisy inside, so I peeked a little and then I was surprised by what I saw

They were drinking with his friends while they were playing cards and then the others gathered and it was obvious that there were doing something wrong and I saw Kenzo who was topless and surrounded by about 4 men who were also topless. I did not expect what I saw right now specially when he use vape and then he kissed a man. I literally my world stopped, then I saw his girls friends playing with my gifts to him. So little by little I started to cry, he had such a side that I don't know and why I do not seem special in this part. I tried to call Kenzo and I saw his phone ringing in case he agreed to take care of me. His friends looked at the phone

"Bro, Ashley is calling" his friend said in front of him

"What?! Seriously?" he asked

"Yes bro, now what?"

"Just ignored it, just continue playing"

"That's why I love you baby" the guys said next to him and kissed him on the cheek so the gay man shivered

I called again but this time he turned off the cellphone and I slammed the door shut making sure that everyone would be surprised at the same time running down into the parking lot and running out quickly. I drive safely and I'm sure that no one really caught me

I kept quiet when I got home and then I threw all my pillows on the wall and cried hard

"You are really a fool Ashley! You are a fool!"

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I left my room at 8:00 am to eat when Dominique came up to me in the cafeteria

"It's good and you woke up early! By the way good morning Ashley"

I sat down in front of him and I wondered why there is so much food on the table

"Is there a celebration? a birthday? Why so much food here today?"

"Ashley, I just want to make you fat, no just kidding! Please decide through this, I know those are your favorites and I cooked them with love"

I was impressed by what he did

"Wow, I didn't know you were good at cooking"

"Excuse me, I took Culinary Arts in college, but sad to say I didn't finished yet"

"It's a pity, why didn't you finish?"

"Financially"

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that"

"Don't think about that, the important thing is we need to eat, so you can taste it"

First I tasted the Lasagna and that is my favorite of all. When I tasted it... I looked at him and I felt my heart disappearing that cause of fun, that I did not realize that I was smiling

"Is it delicious?! Ashley seems to be smiling again!"

I was fed a lot as well as other dishes I tried if it was delicious. I was even happier and I remembered his dishes with my father

When I was full, I looked at Dominique and I was surprise that I saw without food on his plate and he just looked at me while smiling

"Oh why don't you eat?"

He was still staring while smiling so I was able to hold his head as well as his neck to see if it was hot or not

"You don't have a fever, do I have dirt on my face?"

He took a tissue and then wiped the side of my lip so I was able to hold his hand to take the tissue

"Oh thank you!"

He still doesn't speak, he just stares and smiles so I can feel a bit nervous in my stomach. Is this butterflies in my stomach?

"Dominique? Trend to speak, why haven't you eaten yet?"

"Nothing..."

"Seriously?" I said

"I'm glad you enjoyed the food"

I scratched my back and then I smiled

"Oh okay thank you Mister"

I wondered again

"But I was happier when I saw you happy while eating"

Wait? Why do I feel my cheeks getting hot? Oh no, this can't be. Am I crazy?

"You know if you're not just gay, I think you have a crush on me" I said

"Maybe if I'll be straight again or maybe not and if you're the only one who'll I have crush to, well why not? It's possible then"

I heard my workers teasing me here so I grabbed my head again and then bowed

"Dominique... you look like a fool! If that case I'll take you serious... I'll go back now okay bye!" I stood up and left

"Thanks for the food!" I shouted while smiling without looking at him and then returned to my room

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While I was reading the book suddenly someone texted me

- - - - -

From: Linda

Ma'am we have a problem.

- - - - -

I got up and went to our meeting area. When I arrived I saw the faces of my troubled employees

"What's the problem?" I sat in my swivel chair

"Ma'am, isn't there a birthday party later right? Our singer who requested by the debutant will not be able to come, the problem is that we have say yes to our guest for the singer to perform, so we don't know what to do" Linda said

"Mrs. Reyes said the debutant is want to be thrilled, she want the special guest a singer specially has a love team, we don't know how we will solve it"

I saw Erik whispering on the side so I looked up

"Is there any problem?"

Then they pushed Erik and obviously wanted a suggestion from me

"I would like to suggest something" said Erik

"What is it?" I asked

"I suggest that Dominique will be a performer tonight, after all, he's our resort singer like he will be the substitute for tonight"

"Linda, they need a male singer?"

"Yes ma'am"

"Can he be act straight for tonight?"

They looked at me and nodding

"Yes ma'am"

"Who will be the partner with him?"

I looked at them all as they were all looking at me so I was a bit taken a back

"What?" I asked

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Please all welcome Shawn Alvarez"

I heard a lot of applause and teasing but I wonder why they go so far as if they really saw an actor right now

I wear a maroon dress with a make up on and I have an hair extension with heels. Aside from having to show myself as an owner to our guest? But who really choose to serenade on gay stage? I hope Dominique won't choose me, because it's embarrassing. My employees are forcing me to volunteer and I really don't want to. But it depends on what the outcome will be

"Hi everyone! Yes I am Shawn Alvarez, what I will do for tonight hmm I will choose a girl and then I will serenade here on stage"

They shouting again so I was surprised because he seemed to be well-known as a celebrity so I got into catering to check the dishes

"This song is for the woman I can choose who I can consider superhero of my life"

I notice his masculine appearance and the way he speak. He is wearing a pink polo, black pants, black shoes, and his hair is very wax. Oh well I can really say his presence is really a cool

Dominique stood up and searched for who he would block on stage and then he went down

I stared at him as if he were not a seaweed in my eyes. He seems to be a Prince who got lost here in my palace that I should be the only one here

I was surprised, I was the one who was approached, so there were a lot of people talking and the spotlight was with the two of us. I was surprised of what he did... He even gave me a piece of rose and then winked. And what do you expect? Nothing? Of course, all of the guest are shaking even my employees too

He pulled me to the stage and made me sit on his seat and then he looked at me again so I couldn't help but to smile and I wanted to believe what he was doing while singing

He made me stand up and he held my hand then I was facing him while he's singing. So the whole party room was full of noise and I saw the debutant was thrilled

He turned me around and hugged me as we both waved like a true lovers. He turned to me then he hugged me and I felt him squeezing my waist gently and kissed me on the head. Wait, why do I feel that way? Why do I feel nervous on my stomach? Am I really nervous? This is driving me crazy!

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From: Atty. Romeo

Ms. De Castro, yes he is a celebrity. Not only is he famous like other that you've known and he's not already accept his project and he wants to go on vacation first. He is a comedian and bread winner of a family and grand winner of a singing contest. He has 3 siblings and he is the second youngest. He is single and he was also a stand up comedian in 2 comedy bars for 10 years before he entered the showbiz. He has been in showbiz for 2 years and only a few people know him and now he is protecting himself where he is now so he only did it for show earlier. He's a genius actually. He also helps charities, he loves children, he helps children who are orphaned and have cancer. He also helped and survived cancer and he strongly motivates children

- - - - -

To: Atty. Romeo

Is that all attorney?

- - - - -

From: Atty. Romeo

Yes, as of now ma'am I still knowing some other info

- - - - -

To: Atty. Romeo

Past love life?

- - - - -

From: Atty. Romeo

Oh there's a girl interested in Mr. Alvarez past love life... Hmm...

- - - - -

To: Atty. Romeo

Argh nevermind Attorney. By the way thank you!

- - - - -

I turned off my phone and went out of my room and saw that I was deep in thought in the cottage so I thought of going next

"The depth of what we're thinking right now huh? Is there a problem?"

He sat down next to me and then I saw him smile and straighten up

"You know that I'm an actor?" He asked

"Not really"

"So, you don't really know me?"

"No, I'm sorry, I don't like watching television"

"I understand"

"Why are you here? You shouldn't here" I said

"Actually I'm waiting for something and someone at this resort"

"Oh what is it?"

"She is a very special someone in my life and it looks like I have a reason to return to showbiz"

"Wow good luck then"

"I'm luckier than she thinks, because she colored my sad life again"

Why am I suddenly sad? This is Ashley like idiot right now everybody

"When are you coming back?"

"Maybe next 2 weeks"

I nodded and then looked at the beach

"When will you come back home?"

"When my depression is gone already"

He smiled

"I'm so happy for you"

"Why?"

"Because you're going back to normal, slowly, like you're having a good feeling than we first met"

I smiled and was surprised of what he did. He stroked my face while his face was serious

"You should always like that, always remember you look better when you smile"

He smiled and then he sniffed, so I backed away immediatley like a idiot just in case when he try to kissed me. My precious lips reserved it for my fiancé

"If you're not gay I'll think that you are really straight! You making me more crazier"

He laughed and he was cute in that part that cause of he lost his eyes and his dimples came out even more

"Do you want me to be straight?"

"Don't be! Just be who you are it's fine with me"

"Maybe you want it, then I'll be your boyfriend"

"Oh wow Dominique, you have the strength thought you could, please stop"

I was surprised when he came closer to me and stroked my arm and then he arranged my hair at the same time his mouth was close to my ear

"Maybe you want to give me our eldest?" He whispered

I was terrified and I freaked out. I immediately got up to leave the cottage

"Dominique! You're so scary! Don't come near me! Don't you dare to touch me!"

He laughed hard because of my reaction and I felt like I was blushing with embarrassment

"Eh why are you blushing?! It means... Oh my do you want?!"

My eyes widened and I looked at him and I was getting annoyed

"Do you want a baby? Let's go here, let's start here"

"WAAAAAAAAAHHHH STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!"

He approached me so I immediately ran away and I seemed to want to vomit what he was saying and really raised all the hair on my body until we reached the beach and I looked for a wood and I saw next to the life guard seat so I took it immediately and pointed at him so he stopped and raised his hand

"Oh girl" he whispered

"I will never approach gay people!"

"Hey! Ashley I'm just kidding!"

"No! Just stay there and don't come near me, you will really disappear early I'm telling you"

"Girl! I still don't want to die here and seriously, I still have many dreams that I want to fulfill. I still want to get married! What are you... I'm just joking about and hello I have high respect for women! Believe me I do swear to God! Just relax, I'm sorry"

I could see the sincerity in his eyes but I made sure he was telling the truth

"Are you sure?!" I asked

"I promise, I was joking! My goodness Ashley I can't do that because I respect you and I don't want to die, and I don't want your parents get mad when you come back and you are already pregnant! I still respect you okay? I thought you wouldn't take it serious, and hello I'm gaaaaay! I'm sorry" he said

"So put that down please" he added

I saw in his expression that he was afraid of what would happen next. So I immediately let go of the wood I hold and I turned my back on him while walking

I felt someone hold my hand so I looked at who...

"Ashley right?"

"Kevin?"

"Yes baby it's me!"

I hugged him and we finally met my best friend since college

"Babyyyyyy! You're so handsome!"

"Do you have chocolate with me" he said

I just smiled and he pinched me. So I squeezed his cheek

"How did you know that I was here?"

"Secret"

I clung to his arm and pulled him into the resort without knowing where Dom was

"It's good that you found me"

"Of course, you know I will never leave you, you are always in my heart"

"Oh lovely! Welcome to my paradise"

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"Hey!" Kenzo said

Kenzo and I are in a Chinese Restaurant and I do want to touch him and I am waiting for him to say something to me so I just smile at him all the time

"Is there a problem?" He added

I shook my head and smiled

"Just tired" I replied

He just stared at me and then I just ate my meal

"Tell me .. What's the problem?"

"Nothing"

"I know you"

"You already know that there is a problem then you will ask even more, you look like a idiot" I said then I smiled

He rested deeply then he would have held my hand I suddenly avoided it

"Leave me alone" I said then looked at him which caused him to be surprised

"What did you say?" He asked

"Leave me already"

"But why?"

"Why?! You'll gonna leave me then, just leave me now, don't prolong it"

He tugged at her hair and straightened up

"Relax... Don't rush to—"

"I think Kenzo, I already know the ending of our story"

"Hey wait le—"

"I know everything"

"What do you mean?"

"Kenzo, let's not fool around here, I can clearly see with my two eyes and my ears can hear how excited you are for that man, that's why you keep ignoring my calls because you are busy with the man you were covering! Am I too harsh? Oh I'm sorry but that's the fact, if you still want a man in your life in your heart, you can leave me, let's end this" I said

"Don't use a woman if you want change, don't marry a woman if you are still love a man, and don't use me as your barbie doll that you can throw me anytime and anywhere" I added

Kenzo cried and then begged me

"You will leave me too, won't you right? That's why agreed you to leave, I am serious" I added

"Ashley please..."

"You don't want to leave?"

He shook his head and begged me

"If you don't want to leave, then I will leave, and I will never come back anymore, thank you for everything Kenzo, you make me realize that you need to love yourself more than others that who are worthless"

I got up and left him alone

- - - - -

To: Mom

We're done already.

- - - - -

When I got in my car I can't help but to cry. Like there's no tomorrow. I feel the pain inside me, I want to drive safely but I know to myself that I can't

This is the start of my sadness in my heart and in my mind. I was overwhelmed with sadness in my body. I don't know what to do, I don't what will happen next

When I get feel better, I went home. When I got home, my mother immediately greeted me with a worried look on her face

"What happened?"

"This is you want right? To destroy my happiness"

"Ashley, that's not what you think! That's why I don't like him it's because—"

"Because he's gay?! I know mom, you want me to find some guy who suits me which is straight man that doesn't have balls!"

"Ashley..."

"Just leave me alone mom, I'm tired"

I went up to the bedroom. When I closed the door, I lay down on my bed and continued crying. I thought he was the man for me, I hoped we would be two until the end. I thought the two of us would have a real relationship. I though we're will be a real lovers

I just cried and cried until I fell asleep. If I had a dream, I hope I would not wake up. Maybe I can still be happy here and not here in reality. I'm getting tired! Very tired! I don't want to live in this world. I don't think I want to be happy so the world deprives me of everything

There is no happy ending in my life. From now on, I will be numb. I will not pay attention to others. I will lose please everyone. I do not want to be hurt again

I don't want to fall in love again, never ever again. I'm really sure of it...