Dear Diary.

Dear Diary,

It's been awhile now huh dear diary? well 3 weeks to be exact and it is safe to say that my wounds are fully healed and I resumed my daily duties as Ladybug roughly around 2 weeks ago. Nowadays I could manage our bakery in a much more efficient way, especially when it comes to my schoolwork and studies and I forgot how much of a hassle it was.

When I came back to my daily patrols as ladybug I was supposed to meet up with Chat Noir. I began to wonder what his reactions were gonna be when he finds out his lady has finally returned, I was fully prepared for the romantic cliches and flirty tropes he does and just the thought of it gets me irritated. But, unexpectedly that wasn't the case.

On that day when I met up with Chat for the first time in 3 weeks, his greeting was odd. There were no cheesy, romantic puns, no hand kissing gestures like he always does, no flowers to give, not any form of signal to indicate any romantic feelings towards me. I would like to say that it was a huge relief knowing that his romantic shenanigans are over and thanks to that we could actually fight akumas without any distractions but for as long as I have known him.

He has always loved Ladybug.

I have become so accustomed to his natural charms that I never really thought of what it would have been like if he stopped showing affections to me. Nevertheless I am 100% okay with this outcome, besides I have always thought of him as a cherished partner anyway. Nothing has really changed much and that is the way I liked it.

And due to some other circumstances, after me and Chat has finished with our nightly patrols I have to go straight home as soon as possible because of reasons.

Another thing to note diary is my relationship with Adrien. Alya has noted that my speaking manner has changed drastically with him. She says that I don't trip on myself and stutter as much. I have not noticed it much but I guess I was being less clumsy around him but that's not what's so strange about. My heart doesn't beat as fast as I come into contact with him, I don't feel heated by his presence, I don't feel stiff when he approaches me, or even feel think about him as much. Actually whenever me and Adrien ever interact with each other I feel.

Relaxed.

Sooner or later I've started to take down the posters of him I had around my room realizing how ridiculous it was and the fact that I have now accompanied at night so that was to avoid further embarrassment. All in all I would like to feel like I still have this major crush on him but if I'm being honest diary.. I just don't know anymore. He is caring, nice, sweet, handsome, and a overly talented person. There was no reason why I didn' fall for this guy, but there was also no reason as to why I no longer feel this towards him either.

What if I was not just meant for him? I still do not fully understand my feelings. Do I like him or not? I still don't get it.

Now that I have gone through the good news dear diary, let me tell you about the bad ones that have been thrusted upon me. Because of said circumstances that I put myself through a couple weeks back I have this constant ache in my back that just will not go away, this nuisance I can't seem to shake off. Well diary, let me just say that lady luck has not been by my side because now adding more to my responsibilities I have one more thing to take care off. A flirtatious, cocky, egotistical, punny stray cat that I found one night. Yes dear diary this person has forcibly been in the main spotlight of my nights ever since the accident and I cannot shake him off me. Why it is no other than my stupid kitty.

Chat Noir.

Ever since that night where he voluntarily offered to take me home and helped treat my wounds, I gave him permission to come visit me at nights whenever he wants as compensation for his help. Back then I guess you could say I felt some form of pity towards him because from the way he acted when he showed his genuine emotions, Just looking at his eyes I thought that his eyes were not as shining as brightly as before when he was full of energy. I sensed an aura...of no aura.

On the first night he came over, he told a little portion of his civilian life. How he had to uphold this figure set forcibly by his strict father. Chat told me because of all the responsibility and reputation being forced upon him, at one point he could not take it anymore. From that point on I sensed a small feeling of loneliness from him.

That was why he loves being Chat Noir. A figure free of responsibilities, free of stress, free of the chains he was bound to him by his controlling father. Chat Noir was a persona that offered him the ability of free will. As he talked more about his life as a hero I could faintly remember the eyes he had. Unlike the dimmed green eyes he had because of the loneliness, his eyes were shining brighter, as bright as a green emerald.

As the weekly nights went on, Chat continued to come over to my place. Whether it was to observe me working on my fashion designs or help me with my homework. He has always been accompanying me till nights end whether he needed to leave because of his miraculous running out of time or if I fell asleep, he was always here with me. Other than Tikki, him being here I never felt alone and honestly it was a nice feeling.

Often, if not most of the time he would come over and knock on my hatch for permission to come in, almost like a stray cat. We would talk, eat snacks, watch movies, play video games, and overall just enjoy each other's company. I became more accustomed with him coming over at nights that I started just leaving the hatch unlocked expecting him to come over.

Back then, there was a time where I found it irritating for him coming over but after a few nights and learning more about him beyond just being Ladybug's partner. It became something I actually looked forward to. In fact, the night when he comes over slowly became one of the things I was most excited for throughout the days.

Chat is a very kind person. When the times count he cares and he worries. Putting aside his flirtatious attitude I learned to counteract it with a couple snarky comments and his bearable puns. Chat cares alot about people. On the second night Chat approached slowly to me and placed one of his hands next to my waist, to one of my bruises. He found out that my wounds were getting worse despite me denying all those accusations.

For some reason Chat could see through my lies and deceit so easily. He saw through the fake smile I put upfront, tore down the walls I put up, and denies my claim of being "okay." For some reason Chat managed to see through the masquerade of being fine and bring out the side of me in need. I never took it for him to be so observant of people but he showed genuine care for someone he happens to come across one night. He helped treat my wounds and that was probably the closest I let someone get to me and I felt feelings I never understood.

My heart was racing, I could tell my body was heating up, and I felt like if I moved a slight inch I would have broken down right there in embarrassment. His glove caressing my back, it felt soft and gentle and just thinking back on it, thinking back to anytime where Chat was in the picture, where he does anything at all. Anything that has to do with him. I feel weird and my heart aches. I would think of him everyday.

And I don't understand why.

This feeling diary, I don't know what to think of it. Chat is a very close friend to Ladybug and me and I would do anything for him and so will he for me. But the nights, the hours on end conversation we have, the more we open up with each other. Chat soon began to become something special to me. I don't know what to call this. This feeling I have been having...should it be something you should have with a friend or was it meant to signify something more?

Anyway I won't dwell too much into it yet because I could hear a couple tapping up on my balcony so I expect a stray kitty might be prowling around. Anyway I'll come back to you later about this.

Until next time dear diary.