Ch93. Ino is...

"Ino?" Hinata hummed in a pondering fashion, giving the question proper consideration before she giggled. "Ino is a chihuahua. Always barking and trying to make herself look bigger than she is."

Ren snickered, "Oh, I don't think she would agree with you."

He could actually see it, though. If Ino heard Hinata right now, her ranting, aka barking, would be legendary.

"I am sure she wouldn't." Hinata mirthfully rolled her eyes. "If you asked the bimbo, she would try claiming to be something way cooler."

"Right." Ren nodded. "She would probably say something ridiculous like she is a lion or something." He gave Hinata a teasing grin and pawed his hand at her in imitation of her previous gesture. "Rawr."

Hinata mock gasped before giving Ren a pout. "That's rich, coming from a hamster." She said in a mock peeved tone.

Hearing her, Ren's mind froze for a second before he registered what she said and couldn't help but exclaim, "A hamster!?"

He was no hamster!

"Yeah. Small, cute, and cuddly, what else could you be?" Hinata quickly nodded her head several times with a fake, overly innocent look.

Ren deadpanned at her in return and spoke, "You got it wrong. You are totally an alpaca. Just spitting the facts left and right."

"What is an alpaca?" Hinata blinked in confusion.

Of course, as a good teacher, Ren just had to show her. He cast a genjutsu and made an illusion of a buck-toothed alpaca appear in the middle of the room, chewing on some grass.

Furrowing her eyebrows, Hinata looked at the alpaca before slowly turning her head back to Ren, looking distinctly unamused. "Really? That's how you see me?" She flatly asked before looking at the alpaca again.

But the alpaca was ready, and the second Hinata's face was fully turned toward it, it raised its head and looked Hinata into her eyes... before spitting straight in the girl's face, causing her to reel back from shock.

"That is an alpaca." Ren gleefully exclaimed as Hinata's hand instinctively reached toward her face to wipe the spin away, but Ren had just ended the genjutsu, and the illusion vanished, leaving Hinata's face spotless.

Exasperatedly shaking her head, Hinata tried to hide her amusement so she could give Ren a stern, reproachful look, but on her, it just looked adorable, making it very hard for Ren to feel chastised.

"Is that how you treat your healer?" Hinata eventually said when Ren didn't look even a bit apologetic.

"Well, a lion would be able to deal with a simple alpaca, so..." Ren shrugged in a 'what can you do' kind of way and gave Hinata a small, fake humble smile.

"Fuck you." Hinata swatted at Ren's shoulder in return with an annoyed huff.

"You wish." Ren caught Hinata's hand and brought it toward his lips before kissing its back, making Hinata ruefully sigh.

"Not until you are fit." She said sadly. "That's really disheartening. I was looking forward to it when you returned from the mission. But you just had to ruin it by getting attacked, didn't you?"

"Totally not my fault." Ren protested under Hinata's disappointed gaze, which made him feel oddly defensive.

"..." Knowing it was working, Hinata continued to silently stare at Ren, making him squirm for a few seconds until he decided it was time for a change in topic.

"So, anyways, where is Ino?" He asked, averting his eyes away from Hinata while inwardly grumbling. That was as smooth as Naruto's brain.

"She took the blonde woman to the basement and is mind-walking her right now to see why Kumo tried to kill you." Hinata casually said, and Ren groaned.

"... Be a dear and go tell her to be gentle. I don't want Samui to get an aneurysm in the coming hours because Ino is overly zealous and overdoes it." He exasperatedly requested, earning a suspicious look from Hinata.

"Samui, huh?" She idly asked, but her eyes betrayed her distaste. "Already on a first-name basis with her?"

Ren blinked... Oh, that was precious. She was jealous!

Well, to be fair, both Ino and Hinata knew he wasn't one to take prisoners. So, him taking Samui with him probably weirded them out.

Not to mention the fact that Samui was indeed an extremely attractive woman.

The reasons why he took Samui were varied. She could have the info he sought. She was a canon character he found gorgeous. She was a female. He wanted her for Ino's practice...

He could name many more.

But in all honesty, it was a mix of several things, and Ren wouldn't be able to give a straight answer even if he had to tell the truth. It wouldn't change the fact that he did grab her.

That said, he really didn't have any nefarious thoughts or plans for Samui in mind when it happened. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision.

And deep down, he was already regretting it because he had no idea what to do with her in the future.

He could just kill her, but... yeah. Despite everything, he did have a fondness for canon characters. It was a natural part of him as a fan of the Naruto anime. Even living in this world for decades did not destroy that.

Just killing her outside of the battle felt somewhat... cheap? Disheartening? Ren didn't know. He kinda didn't want to do that.

He decided that he would leave these problems to the future Ren and focused on the here and now.

Pushing his worries away, Ren chuckled in amusement at Hinata's reaction and decided to calm any wild ideas she might have conceived in her head. "Samui has a bingo book entry. She did not exactly introduce herself before trying to kill me." He rolled his eyes at Hinata, whose cheeks became red.

But she quickly shook off her embarrassment and shrugged before standing up. "Whatever you say. Your healing is done. I did all I could. I am going to make sure that this 'Samui' is properly disabled and won't get a chance to run away if she wakes up, then."

"Hinata." Ren gave her a look.

"And I guess I will tell Ino to not overdo it, too." She childishly pouted, making Ren chuckle and reassuringly squeeze her hand before letting go of it.

"Good. I think Samui will make for a great practice target for Ino's mental techniques. But she needs to be alive for that."

"Oh." Hinata stilled for a second before humming. "That's cold."

"... Was that a pun on her name?" Ren tilted his head in surprise.

And Hinata beamed at him. "Yes. Was it any good?" She gave him an expectant expression, making him feel a bit guilty as he waved his hand in a so-so motion.

"Eh, I'd give it six out of ten."

It was more like three out of ten but there was a reason why people say to never piss off a white mage. And Hinata did just finish healing him.

"Fair enough." Hinata said, happy with Ren's assessment. "Say, wouldn't keeping this Samui for Ino's practice create trouble with Kumo for us?"

"Not really? They most likely think she is dead." Ren explained. "And besides, Kumo will be trying to kill me after this anyway. It is not as if returning her would earn me some brownie points that would ensure we can kiss and make up."

Not after he killed Darui, who pretty much held a similar position in Kumo as Kakashi did in Konoha. Well, sort of. The man was the Fourth Raikage's right hand man, the disciple of the renowned Third Raikage, the only user of the black lightning in Kumo, and pretty much the ninja with the biggest potential to become the Fifth Raikage in the future. Considering his position, A might have even been grooming him for it already.

There would be no offer for a make-up hug and forgiveness from Kumo's side.

If somebody killed Kurotsuchi, Onoki would not let it go.

If somebody killed Asuma, Hiruzen would not let it go.

If somebody killed Temari, Rasa would not give a shit, but that is beside the point.

In the same vein, Ren knew that A was not going to let this go. This thing between him and Kumo was not over. Not by a long shot.

"I guess giving Samui a medical accident would be a mercy, then. Alright. I get it. I'll make sure she survives." With that, Hinata left the room, leaving Ren to stare at the door with a weirded-out look.

"That girl." He exasperatedly snorted. "Not even a proper ninja, and yet already so vicious."

She was usually such a sweetheart. Of all the things that could bring viciousness out of her, it was jealousy?

... Should he tell Hiashi?

Maybe the man would try to get her a new stepmom, creating some juicy drama inside the Hyuga clan?