Chapter 3

I pass through the door and enter the back of the kitchen, I look over the counter tops and skim the room for an empty wine bottle on the counter tops but there isn't, unusual, I walk through the door of the kitchen and walk into the opening of the living room that's dark and stone cold, I press the light switch but nothing happens, the room remains dark so I make my way to the staircase and hike my way to the top, my blood suddenly turns cold In my veins from uncertainty, running through my whole body, the quietness of the house makes my heart pound in my chest and I reach the entrance of my mum's room and I rest my palm on the handle of the closed door, my hand rests on it for a few seconds adjusting itself to the shape of it, I look forward, terrified to open the door, the hairs on my arms raise and goosebumps appear on my skin and suddenly I'm freezing, my whole body turns to ice but before I change my mind I lunge the door open and.

The rooms quite but the airs Lukewarm, hot breath, a carved shape of a body lies on the double bed and I can see the light trying to pull itself through the binds giving the whole room minimum visibility, I make my way towards the body and the missing wine bottles are found In front of my feet so I pick them up and put them on the side of the desk, I lean my body towards the bed, the smell of sweat and alcohol fills my senses a smell that I have learnt to become familiar with, I pull the covers back and my mum lays still like a stone. "mum" I say quietly, a loud and crackly voice says "what ?", my whole body relaxes the tension that filled my body leave through a deep relieved sigh, " though I was dead did ya ?" she says, with a deep harsh tone I reply " no", I did but I don't want her to know that. She coughs and groans lifting her body so her backrests the headboard of the bed "Can't get rid of me that easily, will you go get some Lecky and gas? , take my card, I haven't been to the bank to draw some money out, ta" she says like everything's normal, "okay" I reply knowing that she hasn't left the house all day and I don't have enough energy to argue about it, I make my way downstairs and grab the money and the keys from the kitchen side and leave slightly slamming the door behind me, I head towards the Corner shop and think about what just happened, my mums been like that ever since dad went missing, she doesn't move unless she has too and basically she only moves if she needs a bottle of wine or a pack of cigs, I try to get her to go to the doctors but she won't, every time I ask her she refuses and tells me she's fine, we don't talk about dad whenever I mention it to mum she either tells me she doesn't want to talk about it or she starts crying and telling me how great dad was. I sometimes ask her why she is like she is and she tells me that she thinks she has anxiety and gets really scared all the time and I know she's not lying because I saw it with my own eyes, I asked her to come to the shop with me once and she actually said yes, when we got there and had got everything we needed we headed to pay, she told me she was worried so I turned to her and told her everything was going to be alright and I grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly. we got to the till and the shopkeeper scanned all the items and told my mum the price , I looked up to her and her face had turned bright red and I started to see sweat forming on her face, she took her credit card out and entered her pin and as soon as the machine pinged I looked up to a screen that said card declined , heat raised through my body and I could feel the heat coming to my face , I heard a loud cry coming from next to me , mum , she cried and told the shop keeper she couldn't afford the items and it wasn't her fault, she looked at me with tears filling her eyes and her face pure red, I gripped her hand and squeezed it as hard as I could and at the exact same time we turned to the shop keeper and I felt a warm drop of water rolling down my face , I bit my lip and carried on staring at the shop keeper, the tall white man look down at the items and back to us , he took a deep sight said we could have them for free because he felt sorry for us so we quickly bagged the items and left and both shouted thankyou as we left the store , the embarrassment I felt was taking over my brain but I knew I had to put it to the back of my mind and carried on walking in pure silence. As soon as we got home and put the items on the kitchen side my mum cuddle up on the sofa and cried but told her that it was okay, she told me that the benefits had stopped coming through and she needed to sort it out but she couldn't face it and that's why we couldn't afford the items at the shop and I said to just ring them up so I dug my hand into my pocket and passed her my old cracked phone that dad got me when I was 9, she dialled the number and before she pressed call she wiped the tears from her face and looked towards me and smiled creasing the edges of her cheeks, I smiled back and she looked back to the phone and finally pressed call.

I get back to the house after coming from the shop with the topped up electric and gas and went and put them on as soon as it came on a light-filled my eyes and the room lit up, I turned my head and the boiler next to me made a loud clunk. I walked over to the kitchen side and grabbed a mug from the cupboard and placed it on the countertop, after making a cup of tea and putting 3 sugars in I walked up the stairs and placed it on the bedside table next to my mum. "ta" she groans, I leave the room and shout "I'm going to my room" as I shut the door behind me. I walk across the landing and enter my room, I scan the room, I look at that the walls are half painted and miss coloured from years of neglect, my bed that stands in the corner of the room witch was given down to me by my auntie, I move my eyes the bedside table that has a missing draw and a lamp that isn't used anymore because of its broken light bulb, I look over the wardrobe that stays mostly empty due to the lack of clothes that is within it I walk over to the bed and chuck my body onto it, I lie looking up to the roof and reminds me of the dream that I had, I follow the cracks across the room and before I know it everything goes dark.