Chapter 2: Death is Pain

Despite the thick sheet of hopelessness in the air, the paramedics worked continuously to try to save Julia's life. It was futile and it pained Julia to watch, but no one else knew that.

After a few minutes, the EMTs arrived at the hospital. Julia's body was rushed to a room, quickly followed by a doctor.

Julia's mother was sitting in the waiting room. She had fought with the nurses to stay in the hospital room, but lost, having to sit elsewhere.

The look on her face alone made Julia simultaneously wish she hadn't followed the ambulance and glad she did. She wanted to be able to comfort her mom, but that obviously wasn't happening. It pained her to know that she was hurting the people she loved.

Her mother's face was obscured in pain, her eyes fixated on a floor tile, though she wasn't really seeing it. The blank, glassy look in her eyes made it clear she was holding back tears.

But the worst thing Julia saw in her mother's face was hope. She believed it would be okay, that her daughter would live and breathe again. And knowing that the truth would break her, Julia cried. She knew her pain was nothing compared to her mom's, and that hurt too. Julia could barely imagine how she would feel when she knew all of this was pointless.

It might damn near kill her. And it was because of Julia.

A nurse walked out of the room and Julia's mother quickly got to her feet. The hope in her eyes was stronger now, even with the grave look on the nurse's face.

"Miss," The nurse began. She looked close to tears as well, though she was pushing away her emotions for mother's sake. "Please follow me."

Julia walked--or floated--behind them, walking into a secluded corner of the waiting room in a somber, eerie parade.

"Miss, you have a husband, correct? Is he coming?" The nurse asked, sitting them both down in two chairs facing each other.

"He's on business…he isnt coming." She looked away from the nurse, already staring to accept what hadn't yet been confirmed.

The nurse attempted eye contact, failing. "Your daughter had another seizure, we diagnosed her with epilepsy. Unfortunately, we couldn't save her. She's dead."

Every drop of hopefulness drained out of Julia's mother's face as the nurse gave her the news.

"No…she's just…she isn't…you have to be wrong—" she cut herself off, wiping away the tears rolling down her face and neck. "You can just use the metal…defibrillator thing, right? It'll make her heart beat again and she'll be fine?"

"The defibrillator was used, but her body wasn't responding. She fell during a seizure and hit her head, cracking it." The nurse watched with pained eyes as the mother broke down in front of her.

Julia could hardly stand this. It was torture, watching her mom react to her death. Why hadn't she died and gone to heaven? Or even just disappeared into nothingness? Why had she become an invisible figure, forced to watch the torment she created? Was there a purpose to this or was she to stumble around aimlessly until everyone else became ghosts as well?

She was yanked out of her spiraling thoughts when a stabbing pain bit through her wrist. As if her whole arm was on fire.

The pain was searing through her lower arm. She didn't know she could feel as a ghost, but maybe this was different. It definitely felt different, worse than anything Julia had ever felt. Almost as if it was as much mental as it was physical.

She stumbled around the hospital room, almost numb from the intensity of the ache in her arm.

Through the muffled fog of pain, Julia realized the source was her soulmark. The yellow letters blazed brighter that she had ever seen them, and the font looked almost peeling, as if ready to fall off her skin. As she walked around the room, the burning increased or decreased based on where she stood.

She walked closer to the window in a sort of daze, mind clouded with the thought of a release of the pain. Opening the window, she climbed out and tumbled onto the ground. The fall was multiple stories and probably would have hurt her more had she been alive and already preoccupied with finding the source of her pain. She was sure she'd have continued toward decrease of pain even if the drop was twenty stories.

After walking for almost five hours, Julia reached a house. Though rundown and caked with dirt, it was pretty. Blue shudders stood out against the peeling yellow paint and a small silver car sat in the crumbling driveway.

The relief she felt at that moment was indescribable. Her soulmark was virtually painless, and she could tell it would be completely ache free in just a few short strides.

She walked up to the door, ready to knock, then remembered she was a ghost and no one would hear her even if she could touch the door. She inhaled deeply, anxious as to what waited inside the house and why she had to go through that agony to get to it.

Exhaling, she walked through the wall and into a dimly lit living room. A small television sat directly across from her and a couch to her right. The walls were a soft blue wallpaper, matching the fuzzy carpet.

Following the lessening of pain, Julia turned into the hallway lined with framed family photos. She didn't spend much time looking at them, or anything for that matter. She made her way to a door with a picture of a pink teddy bear taped to it.

She walked into the room and immediately realized why she was led here.

There, crying softly on the plush bed, sat her soulmate.