Chapter 3: Connor

The shiny tears reflected off her dark skin, making their way down her face and neck.

She wore a white T-Shirt and fluffy pink skirt with light pink pantyhose.

Her heart ached to see Lillian in this state. She wanted to wipe the tears off her face and kiss her forehead and cuddle her until she couldn't remember why she was sad.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans. Julia was stuck watching powerlessly as her soulmate sobbed. She couldn't comfort her or even tell her that she was there. Lillian would never know.

Almost unconsciously, she stepped forward, reaching a pale hand out toward the girl. She cupped Lillian's face in her hand, two fingers attempting to wipe away tears they couldn't touch.

Lillian looked up, staring straight at Julia. Wait, no. Through Julia. At the bedroom door that slowly opened, revealing a short woman. Her long dark brown hair matched Lillian's, along with the shape of her face. The woman was obviously her mother.

"Darling, do you need anything? Dad is making spaghetti and meatballs if you want any," she said, worry carved into her face.

"No, thank you." Lillian's voice was beautiful and soft. It matched her personality—from what Julia has gathered—perfectly.

"You need to eat. I know you're going through a very hard time right now, but you can't disregard basic needs." Her mother walked over to her, through Julia, and gave her daughter a hug. "I wish so much that this didn't happen, but it did. And you have every right to be upset, but you can't push away your well-being in the process."

Lillian nodded, looking up at her through fear filled eyes. Julia felt a prick in her chest, a longing to be the one to give this girl the comfort she needed—and received. More that that, though, she also felt glad that Lillian had someone who could be there for her, even if she couldn't. Even if she caused her pain.

-

"Lillian, honey. Wake up." Lillian immediately recognized the pestering voice as her mother's. "Time for school."

"Noooo…" she mumbled, attempting to ignore the hands shaking her and stream of blinding light assaulting her eyes.

"I know you don't want to, but the principal said you couldn't afford to miss another day of school. Especially not after the impromptu boycott last week."

"It wasn't my idea," Lillian argued, but stood up out of bed anyway. Usually, she was a morning person, but the loss of her soulmate was weighing heavily on her—and her sleep patterns. She barely slept last night, staying up wondering.

She glanced at the clock, 6:30. Her mother must have let her sleep in, either that or she just took a while to wake up.

Lillian quickly got dressed, putting on a pink long sleeve sweater and jean shorts with heart stitching over the pockets-- her favorite outfit. Maybe wearing it would get her day started with something happy, ease her into a better mood.

When she walked out of her room, she felt a bag drop into her arms. Her mother stood at the end of the hallway, giving her a small encouraging smile. Her usual crisp white dress shirt and black pants were replaced with a casual T-shirt and jeans, both winkled.

She sniffed softly, as if she'd been crying, before she spoke, "Darling, the bus will be here any minute. I'm sure Connor is wondering where you are. You didn't text him, did you? Maybe catching up will take your mind off of her."

Lillian nodded, glancing out the front window at the bus stop across the street. Alone and looking anxious, stood her best friend of almost four years.

They had met freshman year on the bus, both being nervous 14 year old's on a bus mostly full of rowdy seniors. Being some of the youngest flocked them together, sitting in the same seat.

Looking back, she had realized that the seniors weren't nearly as bad as some of them she knew now.

She walked toward the door before being engulfed in a tight hug. After a few seconds, she leaned into her mother's arms, welcoming the comfort.

Her mother kissed her forehead, pushing her away at arms length. "I love you. Try to have a good day at school."

"Love you too."

And with that she was outside, making her way across the street to her friend. When he noticed her walking toward him, his face lit up with a smile, which was unusual as he almost always wore a frown.

" I didn't think you were coming today. Are you okay? You weren't answering any of my texts so I was worried." His talked faster than a most other people did, but she didn't mind. Once you got used to the rapid speed of questions and answers and comments, it wasn't a problem.

She waited for a pause between the fast paced questions before cutting in, "My..." She took in a deep breath. "My soulmate died. I saw my soulmark fade at the café."

By now, she was holding back tears. Somehow, saying it out loud made it seem so much more real, like it wasn't completely confirmed until she announced it to someone.

She was glad it hadn't been like that with her mother, just held up her tear covered arm, showing the empty spot where the blue letters used to rest, now empty and her mother went into full comfort mode. "I'm sorry I didn't answer your texts."

She glanced up at Connor's face, seeing the sadness that now filled it. She didn't want him to be upset because he always tried to fix things, and she didn't think this could be fixed.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "I can't believe you're going to school, I would have stayed home."

"You also didn't go to the choir boycott. Mom's still on my case about that." She gave a humorless chuckle. "I shouldn't have gone either. It was a stupid decision."

Connor looked like he was about to say something when the bus pulled up beside them, and he seemed to think better of it.

They made their way through the isle to the back of the bus, passing other students scattered in ages and seat, all lost in their own worlds, not paying any attention to the sullen boy and girl walking beside them.

When they found an empty seat, Connor looked at her again. "I really am very sorry. You seem to be a lot more put together than I would be if Angie died. I admire you for that."

She smiled. "Thanks. I guess I'm a lot more put together than I thought I would be too. It's probably shock, it'll wear off and I'll be screaming at the teachers by fourth period."

He laughed. "If anyone raged at school the day after their soulmate died, it would be you." His face turned serious again. "But, really, its not good to hold this in. You can't possibly be this calm mentally."

She was silent for a moment before a single tear dripped down her cheek. She wiped it away and looked up at her best friend. "You're right."

And that was when she broke. Every thought and emotion she had been dialing back for her mother was let out. Connor listened with a pained look in his eyes and held her in a hug until the bus came to a stop at the school.