Go @round

I know she sees the band on my finger

But I'm not going to let her act like I exist now

Like I am some importance to her life all of a sudden

I know she is thinking I'm engaged

And I know she has million questions

She has that dumb look on her face

She wants to know

But she doesn't ask

She just assuming In that head of hers

So I let her sit there in pity

As we are finalizing the last bit of our project

I get my stuff together

See you in class on Friday

"What's wrong Star"

I looked at Ash and walked away.

We had our finals in the class

I texted ash a couple times over the break

Breaking my heart each time

I finally ran into her at a store

She walked up and said, "hello"

I was stunned but kept my cool.

I looked at Ash with a cold look and walked away.

Ash said, " oh yeah you can say hi. You can text me but now that we are in person

you can't do nothing.

My  heart is ripping in two

I look Ash dead in the eye

tears in eyes.

keep pretending I don't exist.

It looks a hell of a lot better on you then me.

And i walked away leaving Ash standing in disbelief

Everything in me is falling apart I get in my car

I see Anna in the parking lot

And she sees ash calling my name

There yelling

But I don't care

I don't want to feel this way anymore

When I get back to my dorm

Chance is sitting on my bed

Why didn't you tell me

My diary is in his hand

You read my diary

My secrets

" yeah cause you wouldn't talk to me anymore"

I had my reasons Chance

"Did you cheat on me"

No Chance I didn't

I walked every time I had that urge

I got my self together and came home to you

Chance has this weird look on his face

He looks behind me

Ash what in the hell are you doing here

Chance walks towards  Ash I get between them

And if there was any choice I made bad it was this one

Chances arm wraps around me

And before I know it I am flung

Into both the edge of my bed and the wall

This pain comes rushing up my spine

My toes are tingly

I'm feeling super nauseous

Ash grabs my hand

Everything we learned this semester she is walking through

Chance is yelling for help

He runs out the door

That was the last time I saw Chance

Before everything went black

I wake up I'm feeling super sick

And for the oddest moment in my life I can hear Zoe

"Hey pretty girl take care of my girl

She will be lost without you by her side"

I woke up to saying don't go yet Zoe

And then I hear

Ashes voice

My mum is talking to you

Please wake up Star

Please wake up

And just like that everything is black

I can hear voices coming and going

I can hear shuffling feet

I can feel her hand tightening

I can hear her cries

"Baby dill please come back to please don't leave me here all alone

I can't live with out you

My eyes open

And  there is the best sight of life

Ash is holding my hand

She looks like she hasn't slept for weeks

She looks like she is still wearing same clothes from that night

How long have a been out

For two weeks

But you came back to me

My mum made sure of it

You kept calling her name

I held on to you