Chapter 11 A Accidental day off.

I was in my bed sleeping my head off then I woke up. Normally I would get up straight away and get ready for school. But this morning I was not well. I got up and I walked downstairs. There was a note on the bench I said. "Morning bubba! I know you were not feeling well, you rest up. I hope you feel better - mum". xoxoxo". I smiled normally I can't feel my parents affection often. not since my dearest grandmother died it left a effect on me for most of my life.

after the funeral happened. I was not able to ever feel love again. due to greif and hurt. Not only that, over time I had soon grown to fear it. But that's for another chapter.. I put the note somewhere safe, and then I had breakfast and went upstairs. Instead of going on my phone like I normally do. I decided to take a break and read for the day. I know I complaine because I'm always alone. if it was on week days I would understand. Because my parents had to work. but on weekends..

it hurts me to know that my mom and dad just want to be with eachother and not me. Why can't they ask me if I would like to hang out with them?. It hurt me so bad. they think that because they are adults they always have to be. but they don't. Not in my eyes. I could see a world with kids and adults playing together with families and friends. Can't grown ups see that they do have a choice to grow up or not?.

In my mind. The way I see this. Adults need to start thinking, "It's not about the age that matters. but it's the desicion we choose to make when you want to be a kid is what matters". I just wish that adults will see someday that things for them don't have to be this way. Things could be different.. then Maybe adults will see that children are not a burden or a waste of time.

I put the heater on. Got on my Bed. And started to read While listening to "Don't cry for me". by Jason Derulo. i read the book as I listened to the sound of the gituar and the voice of the singer...

I don't know what my Purpose in this world is.

but I know it's something big...