Is it Death?

After seeing Augustine in that state, I began to torture myself. Yet again, for not doing anything. What if I could have made it to that hospital after hearing the news? Would I be able to make a difference? Maybe Augustine wouldn't have to suffer alone? Perhaps if I was there, I could have aided him, and Augustine wouldn't have to be damaged that much.

However, I was weak. I was clearly more helpless than any of those men, and what do I think I would be able to do when I arrived? Those thoughts kept on repeating for a whole month, but I didn't have anyone to share about my frustration. Xavier had to leave because of what happened, but what did I do?