For My Sanity

After a serious round of discussion, Evelyn sat down in Alexander's car with a defeated face.

"What's with that face of yours? Smile, you are sitting with one of the richest people in town." Alexander smirked.

"No, thank you," Evelyn gazed at Alexander with a stupid expression. "If I am not mistaken. I am also one of the richest people here."

"That is true, but no one had ever gotten me as their driver." Alexander smiled at Evelyn before looking forward and continued, "I can be your exclusive driver in the future."

Evelyn understood the meaning of Alexander's words. Her neck was covered in pink, but she ignored it.

It was okay to be distracted for a bit, but she had to establish herself firmly before she decides to have a relationship.

"Not yet" Evelyn's voice trembled.

"Then, when?" Alexander asked without eating a second.

Evelyn turned her head to look outside the window. Her mind was in chaos.

"I don't know."

Alexander stretched his hand to ruffle Evelyn's hair, "I will wait."

Alexander's words started Evelyn. It was hard to think that a person like Alexander would say such words so easily.

Evelyn studied Alexander with wide eyes. She was contemplating. How can a person be so straightforward?

On the other hand, Alexander was full of confidence. He had made up his mind now. He wanted Evelyn alone. No one else but her. Even if he had to wait for a century, he would. Evelyn had become a crucial part of his life.

'Did he know what he was saying?' Evelyn wanted to know so many things. Her pupils shrank with the thoughts filling her mind.

Alexander did not understand what Evelyn was thinking about, but he still waited for her.

No matter if Evelyn was unsure about him or she did not trust him. Alexander wanted to make her believe him. He wanted Evelyn to trust him. He wanted to be a strong pillar standing beside her where she can lean on whenever she needed.

"Can I ask you something?" Evelyn asked in a small voice, bringing Alexander back from his thoughts.

Alexander had a bad feeling about the possible question Evelyn might ask.

"Hmm." Alexander nodded his head after many thoughts.

"Do you still like Layla?" Evely asked in a gloomy tone.

The mood turned dark. An awkward silence soon replaced the relaxing environment.

Evelyn wished the question had not left her mouth, but before she had time to regret it, further Alexander spoke.

"Shouldn't the question be 'What is my relation with Layla?'" Alexander asked Evelyn. His fingers turned pale with the mere thought of what Evelyn's little brain was thinking.

Alexander was right. Rather than believing what everyone thought, she should have first asked what was more important.

After the brief silence in self-reflection, Evelyn asked, "The underlying meaning is still the same."

"That is true." Alexander stopped the car near the park. He was looking straight outside the window aimlessly.

People were roaming around. Many couples walked around, laughing in a happy environment. Many children were playing amongst themselves.

Alexander's eyes passed through them one by one. He could see his past among them. Playing carelessly in the park.

Once Kyle was hurt while playing ball. His peach-like eyes were overflowing with droplets. No matter how hard Alexander and Clara tried, it was all in vain. At last, they had to buy ice-cream for Kyle to make him happy.

A smile formed on Alexander's face unknowingly. Memories of the past were too precious to damage.

Alexander could see their childhood shadows in the playground at that moment. They have grown up and had hardly any time to meet over the years. But now everything differed from the past. Their firm foundation was now shattered into pieces.

Alexander's face turned clouded. The transformation was too sudden for Evelyn to contemplate.

"Can I be honest with you?" Alexander turned to look at Evelyn, whose eyes were fixed on his face.

Evelyn was silent. She looked at Alexander for a very long, "I expect the same."

"I had liked her in the past," Alexander continued. "At least that was what I thought."

He breathed before continuing, "But as the time passed, I realized that I only fancied her free spirit, her innovative thinking, her contrary views."

"I liked her surface characteristics."

Evelyn was quiet and did not interrupt in between. She understood it was hard for a man to express his vulnerability as it was for women. The feeling of weakness that comes with such a revelation was tremendous.

Evelyn admired Alexander for this. He was taking steps to make her feel secure, which won her heart.

"I always thought that Layla was unaware of how I felt, but she knew. Layla did not stop me, and I thought I had a chance. She was different." Alexander's voice was turning into a whisper.

The light in Alexander's eyes was starting to dim as he was emersed in his thoughts.

"At least that was what I thought." Alexander came back to his senses.

Evelyn paid attention to Alexander's changing expressions. She waited patiently for Alexander to continue.

"When Layla choose Kyle, I was unhappy. It was the same time when Clara was heartbroken as well. The very same day." Alexander chucked, "I thought my love for Layla was so strong then. But when I saw Clara's reaction to the situation, I realized I did not love Layla at all."

"I was drawn towards the new behaviors that she showed her way to think and react was so refreshing at that time that I was pulled towards her. But soon, I realized that it was a momentary joy."

"I was not intoxicated by her. I soon realized, her way of thinking can never work with my rearing. Sooner or later, we were bound to crash."

"I only had a crush on her. I never loved her" Alexander laughed at his foolishness.

Alexander subsequently observed Evelyn. There was no hatred in her eyes. She looked at him as she always did.

Alexander could not help himself, he coupled Evelyn's face with one hand. Her face rested on Alexander's palm.

"The person I am intoxicated with is you." Alexander gazed straight at Evelyn.

"I thought you and Dave had something. I even contemplated giving you up when I thought about Dave still being in love with you. How hard could it be? I gave up Layla for Kyle. I can surely do this. Or so I thought." Alexander continued.

Evelyn was listening attentively. Her ears were turning red as her eyes enlarged by Alexander's words.

"But it was hard. I could not bring myself to do it."

"I wanted to destroy Dave so that you have only one choice left. Me." Alexander rubbed his thumb over Evelyn's cheeks.

Her silk was soft like running milk. The tenderness was addictive.

"Even in the future, if you had any other options, I would eliminate it from your life. I want your eyes to be on me. Alone."

"I know my thinking is crazy, and you need time to process it, but it is the only truth I know."

"I need you as much as I want you." Alexander was overbearing with his choice of words. "For my sanity."

The last words were spoken in a whisper. Evelyn blinked her eyes in confusion. Did she hear it right?