Flag 13
- Amber Hills -
She's calm now. We step out of my car and she leads me inside her home, then to her bedroom. I'm fixing up my duffel bag, the weekend's basically over and today's the day I head back home.
She sits silently on the edge of her bed.
- Elizabeth Andrews -
(Ugh, I hate bad dreams.)
But if it meant getting her to hold me like that again, then maybe I'd deal with bad dreams every single day if it meant I got to keep her.
I found myself clinging onto the sleeves of her sweater as I struggled to grasp for air. My heart was practically gunning.
"Please stay," is what I said when I forced my eyes open. She looked at me, eyebrows, slanted and pupils, dilated. I could sense the shock that washed over her in that moment. She didn't really say anything but she held me. She just held me in her arms. My head rested on her shoulder and I could feel my breaths gradually composing themselves as she effortlessly saved me through her gentle and affectionate touches and actions.
She's my comfort, my security.
...and I really do want her to stay.
In that dream, she left and it felt so real 'cause I knew it was possible. It was possible that she could leave and never come back. She has every right to walk out of my life and that scares me.
(And what the hell am I supposed to do if she decides to walk away?)
She stands up and I walk towards her.
- Amber Hills -
Arms wrap over me, giving me a warm, heartfelt embrace. Her body presses closer and tighter and I could feel her hot breath tickling my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I could also feel the thuds caused by her heart through my back.
Is her heart actually beating for me?
No.
It can't.
It shouldn't.
Mind over heart.
Mind over heart.
"Liz, you know I have to go, right?" I say.
"Stay," she whispers to my ear, in a voice so soft yet it causes an electrifying wave of emotions to flow over me, turning my body completely still. I could feel my heart match hers as if it holds onto her heartbeats. My heartstrings are ringing out, setting the tone to the beat of her drum as they move in synchrony.
I'm in sync with her right now.
Mind over heart.
Mind over heart.
Mind over heart.
"At least, stay for a little longer," she pleads. She's impulsively invading my thoughts with a mix of pure panic and excitement.
Why do you do this to me?
"Thanks," she says.
"For what?" I ask.
"For everything."
I turn to face her, and she stares at me deeply. It's as if she's reading the lines of my soul. Her cheeks, in deep red and her eyes, blue as the sky, blue as the ocean on a bright summer day.
Summer.
I'm moving this summer.
"Are you still bothered by that bad dream?" I ask to break this unresolved tension.
"A lil' bit."
"Well, you shouldn't be that bothered. Dreams are always forgotten," I reply.
I didn't mean to speak so dryly but I just can't keep going with the flow since I've decided not to take things further.
I've decided not to take things further even if my heart desperately screams her name.
"I'm sorry, I--it's just you know, I don't like this."
"Don't like what?" She asks. She steps back as her hands travel down to mine interlocking them instantly, looking at me with furrowed eyebrows, waiting for an answer.
"You look so sad right now, I don't like it."
- Elizabeth Andrews -
"You look so sad right now, I don't like it," she says.
"Hey, I'm calm now, okay?" I give her a smile reassuring that I'm definitely more collected.
The moment spurs me into cupping her cheek and my eyes trail down to her lips. She stands completely still.
No.
Stop.
Control yourself.
But she looks so perfect right now.
I brush strands of her hair behind her ear, leaning in a little closer, until our faces are only centimeters away.
Is this okay?
Damn, I kinda wanna know what her lips feel like.
"Liz--"
Her phone rings loudly, interrupting our moment. We both step back. She moves towards the nightstand, picking her phone up, her footsteps, heading downstairs to our living room.
"Hello?"
I take her duffel bag and proceed downstairs, walking passed her and place it on our couch for now.
She notices me and mouths a quiet "thank you" in between her phone call.
- Amber Hills -
"Hello?"
"Hey, where are you right now?"
"I'm at a friend's, well, Lizzie's place right now. What's up?"
"Well, I wanted to take you somewhere tonight... but I guess you'll want to rest now."
"Can I take you out on Monday?"
"Like after class?"
"Sure," I respond after only a few seconds.
"Great. See ya."
"Yeah, see you, Hayden."
I end the call and turn back to Lizzie, sitting on the couch.
"Well, I should get going now. Thanks for having me."
"No problem, thank YOU for coming over," she replies.
"I had a lot of fun, Amber."
We exchange sweet smiles, and share a hug that seems to linger, leaving traces over my body, traces that excite me.
She opens the door for me, I turn my heel to face outside. Sharing one last glance at her, "See you at school, Liz."
"Yeah, see you there."
She chuckles, "And have fun on your date," she says as she gives me a playful wink.
- Elizabeth Andrews -
I watch as she drives away. I head back inside, closing the door behind me. I head upstairs, back to my bedroom and collapse over my bedsheets.
I hear my phone vibrate on the nightstand. I sit myself up to reach and unlock it.
I received a message from Amber.
Amber: thanks a lot for today and yesterday.
And she disappears from the screen of my phone but she stays in my thoughts.