Flag 14

- Elizabeth Andrews -

(The moment spurs me into cupping her cheek and my eyes trail down to her lips. She stands completely still.

I brush strands of her hair behind her ear, leaning in a little closer...)

I can't stop thinking about it.

And we've never really brought it up either.

Our faces were only a few centimeters apart. I could feel her tensed breath hit mine as she stood completely still. We held each other's stares lingeringly as we drowned in each other's eyes. The room felt heated. Her long delicate eyelashes, her enchanting auburn eyes that had blended with the colors of caramel and honey, her dark brown hair, parted to the side, had shown natural waves that to me were breathtakingly beautiful. Her hair was loose, messy, unruly yet it flowed like a waterfall.

She looked perfect.

(I almost kissed her,) thinking to myself with gritted teeth, intense emotions weaving sheer panic and pain, intoxicating yet it enthralls me. Amber's effect on me is unreal. The thoughts of her takes me on a whirlwind of emotions, a battle against mind, heart and body, where the heart reigns victorious. Chaotic and terrifying but the trouble isn't so troubling.

With her, I don't mind the danger.

I'd deal with all kinds of danger if it meant I get to be with her for a lifetime 'cause if you ask me what I want out of my future, my answer would be her. It would always be her.

My phone lets out a tone, indicating that a new message has been received.

Chris: Hey.

Christian Valdez is my ex's best friend. I met him through my ex of course, and we practically became friends. Even after the break-up, we still remained close.

Chris: It's about Dawn.

Dawn Pinfield, the first girl I've ever loved and the first girl who ripped my heart out. She called it off without a proper closure. It hurt but I'm over it. It's already been 4 months and those "4 months" were basically, a long time ago. My feelings for her have already been overthrown by someone else.

Lizzie: What about her?

Chris: I know you guys already ended but she needs you.

Lizzie: But she has you.

Lizzie: And she was the one who called it off by ghosting me.

Chris: She had a reason.

Chris: You do know her situation right?

Chris: Her parents are kind of arranging her with someone and she can't handle the pressure.

Chris: She ended things when her mom started noticing the subtle hints.

Lizzie: hints of what?

Chris: Well, you know, you and her.

Chris: But I assure you, she never wanted to end things like that.

Chris: I'm trying my best to comfort her you know.

Chris: I just want her to smile like the way she did with you.

Chris: Her happiness has a name and it isn't mine, it's yours, I'm not asking you to be with her again, and whether you get back together or not, that isn't my choice.

Lizzie: It's kinda hard tho.

Chris: I get where you're coming from but she needs someone right now and that someone happens to be you, well, you know, as cliché as it seems to be, she needs you.

Lizzie: Fine. I'll try.

Chris: Thanks.

I can't really find a way to describe whatever it is I'm feeling right now. Amber takes over both my heart and mind but sometimes, you never really forget about someone you fell hard for. Even when there isn't a single trace of romantic attraction left anymore, you never completely forget the fact that you actually fell for this person.

Dawn wasn't at all, bad. I wouldn't regret anything we had. I just wish it didn't end like that.

(Lizzie: Dawwwwwwwwwn.

Dawn: wait. kinda busy sorry. i'll chat you later.

Minutes and hours have passed, and I'm still waiting for her reply. Her later's turned to tomorrow's and tomorrow's turned to weeks. She always disappears in the middle of every conversation and each time she comes back, it's an entirely different topic, completely unrelated to wherever we left off. I guess that's why she forgets about all the important details. Sometimes, we'd even have the same conversation over and over but she fails to even notice.

Lizzie: Dawn. you mad?

Dawn: i'm not mad.

Soon, weeks turn to months and all of the sudden, months turned to never.

We eventually just stopped.

The texts, phone calls, the conversations, simple hello's stopped as well, without saying "goodbye", but I guess being ghosted technically means goodbye.)

One moment, you're special and the next day, you're nothing.

(We walked through the same hallways few days after and not even a single glance taken.)

I pause for a moment as scenes of the past floods through my head.

(I see her laughing with a few of her friends.

"Dawn! that's so funny," a girl with glasses laughs loudly.

Another girl lets out a chuckle, "What happened after?"

"Well...," she says. I could hear her voice fade as she heads somewhere else with her friends.

Just like that, we were back to strangers.)

I shake my head to wake me up from deep thought.

She wasn't that bad, right?

It's all in the past now. I've gotten to a place where those thoughts don't really affect me as much anymore. Although they used to tear me apart, I could say that I'm fine now.

A few messages wouldn't hurt, right?

If she's really that broken right now, and feels that I'm the only one who could fix her, everything should be fine.

I can try to save her.

I can try to save her.

I can try to save her as a friend.

Lizzie: Hey. I heard. from Chris.

Lizzie: How are you holding up?

Dawn: i'm just all over the place right now.

Our conversation seems to flow smoothly.

Lizzie: Feel better now?

Dawn: yes. thank you.

Lizzie: Glad to have helped.

Dawn: i missed this.

Dawn: i miss us.

I stare at her message, wide-eyed. I catch a deep sigh. I pause for a moment and think to myself.

(Is it bad that I don't?)