Flag 15

Elizabeth Andrews

(Dawn: I missed this

Dawn: I miss us)

When you grow close enough to someone, you start hearing their voice even over text.

"I miss us."

Dawn's voice seems to echo its way through my thoughts but all I feel is sympathy maybe because she ran out of all the things I liked her for. After being ghosted for the past few months, I couldn't see her as the person I loved back then. I only saw her as the person who broke me and it took me several weeks to find myself again but I'm over it. I guess, feelings really do fade when people change, especially when they change for the worse.

Dawn: Liz. i really miss you.

I take a deep sigh.

No amount of "I miss you's" is gonna change how I feel.

- Amber Hills -

I head back to my room, immediately after dinner. I fall onto the covers of my bed.

My eyes shoot towards the ceiling replaying that moment in her bedroom. As usual, all my thoughts look like her.

(Arms wrap over me, giving me a warm, heartfelt embrace. Her body presses closer and tighter and I could feel her hot breath tickling my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I could also feel the thuds caused by her heart through my back.

"Liz, you know I have to go, right?" I say.

"Stay," she whispers to my ear, in a voice so soft yet it causes an electrifying wave of emotions to flow over me, turning my body completely still. I could feel my heart match hers as if it holds onto her heartbeats.

"At least, stay for a little longer", she pleads.

I turn to face her, and she stares at me deeply. It's as if she's reading the lines of my soul. Her cheeks, in deep red and her eyes, blue as the sky, blue as the ocean on a bright summer day.)

And I watched as those eyes move to look down on my lips. Shortly after, her eyes met mine again. We held each other's gaze with want and longing. Before I knew it, she inched a little closer.

Everything she did in that moment had me breathless and I stood completely frozen.

I'm drowning into her depths again but I'm burning as thinking of that specific moment heats up my cheeks. The feel of her skin and the scenes of the things she did in that room still runs through my mind.

I think she's fallen nearly as far as I have which brings a sense of relief but it's also scary. It's terrifying, really.

Have you ever looked at someone and think, "I'm going to hurt you?"

Well...

(I'm going to hurt her.)

That.

That's how I feel.

It's these indescribable feelings of confusion about whether or not I should keep this going.

I like her.

I really do. That, I'm sure.

(But do I see us actually being together?)

I've honestly never thought of it. I guess I've been trying to convince myself that we're nothing more than just friends too much, that it led me into not thinking of that at all.

My thoughts are messy. My heart, heavy, it hurts. It hurts but it's not that same pleasurable pain I used to feel from the moment I dove right into her anymore.

It's different.

Somehow, it just hurts without the feelings of excitement.

(Am I starting to lose the thrill?)

I shake my head and reach out to my phone. I grab the earphones on my desk, plugging it in to distract myself. I shut my eyes slowly and wait till sleep overtakes my body.

- Elizabeth Andrews -

Lizzie: You'll be ok.. Dawn.. I know you will

(What the hell did I get myself into?)

After a long thread of messages, she finally sends a "goodnight," claiming she's well enough to go to sleep.

I check the time and it's roughly past 12 AM and my thoughts are all over the place. I turn the lights off and watch as the stars on the ceiling start to flicker just as they did that night.

(In this dimly lit room, she watches the stars that flicker hints of yellow lights and as those sunshine-colored glimmers hit her eyes, streaks of honey and caramel blends in with auburn. They spark fires inside of me.

"I like the stars, they make me feel less lonely", I softly muster. I never liked the darkness and I feared to be alone.

"I don't like the dark, that's why I kept them up there".

"Does the dark scare you?", she asks as she turns to meet my gaze.

I take a deep sigh, "It does scare me, I hate the idea of not being able to see things".

"Are you scared right now?", she asks in a tone, gentle and comforting.

I feel my heart pounding so hard, I could hear its every beat. I look down with my hand on my chest.

I feel arms wrap over me. A hand pulls me in a little closer by my waist. My heart is pounding. With our foreheads pressed together and our eyes locked, she says, "Hey," our faces only a few inches apart. I could hear the sound of her breathing.

"I'm here," she says.)

And I wish you still were.

I yawn and I could feel my eyes getting heavier each time a second passes. I lay the blanket over me and give in to eventually, fall asleep.