Life Sucks When You Fuck Things Up

[ JASON ]

After a few moments after my boy gave Stefano the drugs, a news came on television and it was a shocker - Boss is dead. That swift of a juncture of time I felt it in a strange manner; In a way it made me feel sick. But that, what I have seen, is just the world that I am in. The world of illegal drugs. It was kind of disturbing to the point I forgot this was my normal day-to-day imagery. Sudden deaths; nothing but the detriment of doing this illegal stuff in my hood.

As I heard the news, I felt really alarmed that maybe, one of my boys did it. Or someone had him framed up with my delivery boy. I almost panicked, thinking if that's the case then we have to move out somewhere, immediately.

Or maybe I'm having things overthought. But who could kill him? I don't even know where to start interrogating my men about this. I'm sure everyone of them have seen this already.

Right. I was overthinking. Betrayal isn't new when it comes to this black market. I know there is something going on. I stood up and I got back to my senses, feeling normal, in a sudden. The effect of drugs, it just went away.

As my dealer came home and reported the successful transaction, I interrogated him on phone about what happened and it surprised me when he said he doesn't know anything about it. I let him turn the TV on and he shuddered in shock. He said he didn't do it. At first I was skeptic to believe him but as soon as I heard his voice emitting a tone that he actually had no idea, I was convinced. Plus, I know Jeremy would not kill anyone. He's very much uncapable of doing this. He just deals drugs to have money for his family. He's never been involved in the bigger, darker side of this.

There is something going on.

I picked up the phone and called one of my trusted colleagues in this business - Jacqueline. She is on her fifties now, but you know she does the work fine. She always gets away with this because of her age.

I met Jacqueline one day, when she was just walking out in the rain, with no money and food on her. I thought she was a beggar so I gave her money from my pockets and she immediately grabbed it. It was weird how she smelled the money that came out of my pockets like she is addicted to it; like it was a drug or something.

I was thinking of leaving her alone because she seemed crazy, but then, She cried after smelling the money and I was a bit uneasy about it. She's being so emotional with the little amount of money that I gave her.

I asked her after that uncanny moment, "Are you okay?" and she just gave me this nod and smile that feels like longing. With my curiosity, I stopped by to ask her about what she's feeling and the story went on. Until I figured out, she was also a drug addict with nowhere else to go. It actually felt like a sudden connection, in a sense I know that this woman whom I was talking to, is somehow just like me. She lost her husband and her only child because of drugs - just like how I lost the love of my life because of it.

After that moment of realization, I asked her to be one of my dealers. I know it wasn't a bad idea after all. At her age, she can definitely get away with it that easy because she's almost a senior citizen and is kind of old to be in jail.

We agreed of things, and as she said it, I got her back to her feet again.

Jacqueline is one of my colleagues near Stefano's residence. She lives near the crime scene and I know she can give me some important details about what's going on.

Ringing, I sighed heavily. This time I know she can check what's currently happening at Stefano's house and give me some details about the commotion. There's something going on and I have to figure out who killed boss.

I can sense that whoever did it, is just within my vicinity.

As the ringing went short, a voice answered the phone. "Jason, hi. Have you heard the news?" Jacqueline responded with a raging voice.

"Yeah. That's why I called. We need to know who did this." I suddenly felt agitated.

"Alright. Do you think one of our men did it?"

"My gut says so. Now, Jac, you have to go there and get me some details about what's happening. Be aware of the place, if there are suspicious people within it. He might be there, hiding somewhere."

"Right. Copy that."

She sounded fearless upon hanging up.

***

[ BECCA ]

The news became a sudden tragedy. Stefano was dead. My rapist was dead. Sitting next to Bryan, I don't know what to feel. My heart is screaming relief but the other extending sympathy to his son. My ex boyfriend.

The truth, it feels relieving. In a sense I could roam around cites now without this strange feeling coming in and out of me. That feeling when you know there's someone out there free even if he's capable of something worse than what I've seen on TV. Knowing that he's dead, it satiated me quite a bit. But at the back of my mind, I can actually feel like there is so much going on. I mean, who killed him? I actually think one of those women he also raped aside from me could have done it.

It was quite satiating now that he's dead, I know -- but it gives me chills at the same time. I was just thinking about him suffering in jail for the rest of his life. But now that he's dead, Things are just starting to get me puzzled.

"So.. uh, he's dead?" Gina went on asking.

"Well, it seems like you actually don't need my help here.." Stephanie composed herself and was about to go out of the room. She held the knobs and went on speaking, "Have a nice day ahead, everyone. You know, this is his karma. He's a rapist after all."

We looked at her with our face still in shock. It's like, the universe is with us. and Stephanie, she went out after, shutting the door before us.

"Uh.. so.. yeah. that's the news then. I -- I'm gonna buy us some food."

Gina hurriedly stood up and made her way out of the room next to Stephanie. I was just about to stop her but I didn't. She walked awkwardly fast. I froze quite a bit upon trying. And now I am with Bryan -- left in a hospital room.

Us, alone. Together.

It feels awkward in a sense I know Stefano is still Bryan's dad. This will be hard for him. knowing his anxieties and all that. Right now, his face exudes a lot of this feeling like he didn't see this coming. He's a little shock of the news but he's trying to hide it. He never panicked. He remained on his position without saying anything after the breaking news interrupted Brooklyn Nine Nine. I honestly want to ask him if he's okay but I feel like it will make him feel vulnerable. Like, I know if I will talk about it, it will come to his head and think about it on repeat.

His dad is dead - but, who did it?

"Uhh yeah, Umh Bryan, you know I am currently thinking ab-"

"Who do you think did it?"

I was about to ask him about how I dumped him at The Parfait. That will be a great distraction for his thoughts. But as I am about to, he interrupted with a question that I cannot even answer.

I gulped.

I don't want to talk about it. I have no idea. Four of us here including me, Gina and Stephanie - are the people I know for sure who could have done this but it's not us. Neither of us did it. We are the only ones affiliated to Stefano, and are actually the ones who knew about this morbid thing that he's up to. If there is someone else who actually killed him, I don't have anyone in my mind.

"Who - who did it? Like, who killed him?" I stammered upon clarifying.

"Yeah.. I am just, who would kill my dad? It was fast, Becca. I don't have any idea who did this."

The look upon his face is a bit confusing; in a sense I cannot determine whether he is sad about it, or just want to know answers.

"To be honest, I also am in shock. I don't know who can kill him. You know, I could have done it."

He's now staring at me like he's accusing me.

"Not that I did it, really. I mean, I might be really angry at him but I didn't kill him.. I'm here with you. I-- I don't know who else would."

I don't know what he is thinking of but.. he's looking at me like he's thinking really deep of it.