accettazione

TWO YEARS LATER...

I couldn't cope with everything that had happened, so I created a stronger version of myself in my head. Crudus Homocida. Technically, I was forced to. She ripped out whenever I couldn't deal with something. And then, it went out of control where I couldn't control her. At certain times, she would just pop out of nowhere. My memories resurfaced, and I remember everything about what had happened. But she's a part of me now. I accepted it, even though I wish she wouldn't be. I don't know what or who to blame. Myself ? My uncle ? Or my mind ? Who made me into this person I am now ? Everything. Every single thing that I had experienced made me like this. "Wake up Ayala ! " A prison guard banged on my cell door, holding a plate. "Morning to you too, sweetpea." I yawned. After the incident, I was caught and thrown into jail. Not that I mind though. I literally had no place to stay and no one to care for, so why not stay in prison when you have free food and a place for shelter ? "You have a visitor. Finish your breakfast and guard Richard will bring you to see her." I frowned, "Shocker. Are you sure she's my visitor ?" The guard nodded and left without another word. I gobbled up my breakfast and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I look horrible. My hair lost the usual silky smooth texture, it was dry and cakey. My eyes were tinted red, swollen and puffy due to insomnia. Nightmares and hallucinations kept haunting me. I stayed up all night shivering in a corner, trying to block out Crudus Homocida, another me. My lips were bruised and cut from the constant fights that broke out with other prisoners. I was a mess. I ruffled my hair a few times, twisting it to a bun and signaled Richard that I am ready. He brought me to another room and stood behind me. I sat down and waited impatiently. The click of high-heels echoed through the room. "Hello Kils. Did you miss me ?" OH. HELL. NO. I jolted my head up so fast that my neck almost cracked. "YOU ! How dare you show your face here ? YOU MURDERED MY SISTER ! YOU KILLED SAGE ! My only sister ! You bi-" I stood up and screamed, slammed my fist on the glass partition. It was the only thing that was stopping me from killing her now. Richard came behind me and grabbed both of my arms, forcing them behind and putting handcuffs on me. "Calm down Kils, honey." My mother crossed her legs elegantly and looked at me with amusement in her eyes, like I was some kind of animal and she was in the zoo watching some show. "Don't you DARE tell me to calm down ! My name is Akïla, not Kils. You're lucky that I am in cuffs, or else you'll be six feet underground now. Speak, bitch. What is your purpose ?" I spatted, my chest heaving up and down. Control yourself Akïla. Don't let her pop out. You are stronger than this. I took a shaky breath and pressed my lips into a thin line, trying to push down my emotions. Anger. "I'm disappointed that you're disrespecting your own mother, Kils. I came here with an offer. Either you come and work for your father and I, then you can be released from prison immediately. You did quite a number on your uncle. Or you can spend the rest of your life rotting in this shit- hole." I scoffed, "And why can I leave the prison early ?"

My mother laughed, "Oh daughter, you're so innocent. A little money won't hurt, Kils." I lunged forward, "Call me Kils one more time, and I'll rip your throat out, I swear." She cleared her throat and scooted her seat further from me, "What's your choice then ? Akïla ?" I wanted to blurt out a nasty comeback or a savage "No" to my mother, but a sentence kept bugging me, making the words stuck at my throat. "You are no better than your parents... The Ayalas, we are killers...you need to embrace the fact..." Yes, my parents killed Sage, my dear sister, so what ? Didn't I murder my uncle in cold blood ? In the end of the day, it doesn't matter. I am the daughter of two infamous assassins, and I'm no better than them. Why not just give up and digest the fact ? Just like I accepted Crudus Homocida is a part of me. In fact, she did many goods to me. She protected me from any harm. She stood up for myself when I was weak and timid. She was my guardian angel. Embrace it Akïla. What else can you do anyways ? [ Crudus Homocida ] "Now that's a good girl, Akïla..." I exhaled deeply and faced my mother, "I accept your offer."