Eros

Hi, I'm Eros, a twenty year old boy.

A few months ago I found out that a girl I dated a long time ago had had an accident, this girl's name is Valentina.

Valentina is the most beautiful girl I have ever met, and I have dated her, even though we have only dated once in the past.

I met Valentina through a dating application, I didn't plan on going out with her, I just wanted to experiment.

I just wanted to experience what life must be like when we start dating, but in a virtual way. We only went out once, because every time I asked her to meet me she ignored my messages, changed the subject or simply said she couldn't.

In spite of everything, I was falling in love, I couldn't help it, she was everything I was looking for in a woman, she was even everything I was missing.

One day, she told me how confused she was, that she didn't know if she was looking for something serious or not. To be honest, when I met her, I started to want something serious. I understood her, I understood that she was not looking for anything, but in my mind there was only one idea: could it be that she is in love with someone else?

For a moment I felt sad, but I decided to show her that I understood her and could accept what she was telling me.

She told me that she didn't talk to anyone as she did to me, I told her that I didn't either.

We agreed that we were fine like that, with no title to what we had.

After that, things started to get cold, we started talking less and less, it wasn't the same as before, things started to change; I told her that we couldn't go on like this, that we had to go out, but she kept ignoring my messages.

She answered me every time she wanted to or remembered me.

One day we had a very strong fight; I remember telling her that I didn't want her to play with me anymore, to be honest, which is what she wanted with me.

She played the victim.

We stopped talking for a while.

After several days of not talking, she wrote to me.

- We can't go on like this, sorry, I don't know why I act the way I do, we always fight over my jealousy and I feel that hurts you, I don't know if we should stop everything. - he wrote.

- Don't you want to try, don't you want to start from scratch? - I wrote, I didn't want to lose it.

- It's okay - she said.

I thought that this would make everything better, that we could start to know each other seriously, because, she didn't let herself be known, she was very reserved, but no.

We fought again over her jealousy, this time I was already angry, so I stopped talking to her.

A few months had passed and I felt that I missed her, I wrote to her again, told her everything I felt and she asked me to be friends.

How can you be friends with the person you love, how can you be friends with the girl you met to be something else?

I was devastated.

I decided to tell her that yes, we would be friends.

She wrote to me every three or four days, answered some story of mine that she published, or, she simply wanted to talk to me, but it was too quick to initiate a friendship.

At first, I didn't feel like answering, but then I did.

Then I noticed that when I stopped caring about her, she had eliminated or blocked me. Maybe she had been hurt by my indifference or maybe I was dating someone, but I decided that everything about her should stop caring.

A good time passed and I guess she was focused on her projects, just as I was on mine.

One day I got a call.

It was Antonella, Valentina's best friend.

- Alo?, Eros?, is that you? - said Antonella.

- Yes, it's me, who is this? - I answered seriously.

- Hello, this is Antonella, Valentina's friend - she answered.

- What's wrong, if you call me to talk about it, the truth is uncomfortable for me - I answered dryly.

- I'm sorry to interrupt you, but... - she couldn't complete the sentence.

- But...? - I said.

- (whispers were heard)

- Hello, but what, can you answer? - I asked, upset.

- Did something happen? - I added desperately.

- Valentina had an accident, she's in the hospital. - she managed to answer.

- Was that it, did she ask you to call me? - I answered.

- If you come, I'll explain - said Antonella, trying to get me to go to the hospital.

- Pass me the address - I answered reluctantly.

Antonella dictated the address and after a while I arrived.

The first thing I did when I arrived at the hospital was to ask about the room where Valentina Griffson was, I was told she was in room 402, so I went in search of an elevator.

Once in the room I met a girl, she was Antonella.

Antonella explained to me about the accident, apparently Valentina didn't remember anything, well, apparently she only remembered my name.

I felt strange and confused at the same time, it had been a long time since I had seen Valentina, much less talked to her.

Everything seemed strange to me, at first I thought it was a bad joke, but in the end it was true.

The days passed and I would go to the hospital to visit Valentina, try to get her to remember her life, or something, but I couldn't. She asked me to stop trying, to press her memory because it wouldn't work, so I stopped.

She was discharged.

She still didn't remember anything, and there was nothing I could do.

We would go out very often, I would pick her up from her college, and we would go for walks.

I think I was falling in love with her for the second time.

Now I had the opportunity to get to know her, to see her face more often, to have more contact with her.

I can't believe I'm falling in love again with the person who once broke my heart. Life is definitely turning around.

There were some days that I went to Valen's work, because her parents didn't want her to be alone, and since she trusted me, they asked me to go.

On those days I went to pick her up from work, I met Ricardo. I don't like that guy, I feel that he is a bad influence on Valen; and yes, I was jealous to see him around her.

One of those days, it seems, Ricardo had mentioned to Valentina that they were going out, and she hesitated and asked me if that was true.

- After we stopped talking I have no idea who you were going out with - I answered her question in a cold way.

Of course she didn't understand what was going on, she didn't know if I had asked an inappropriate question or not; it was, but, she didn't know my feelings

After several days of dating, she asked me a question that left me speechless at first.

- How can you have so much control over me? - she asked, confused and embarrassed.

Why did she ask that, does she feel something, should I tell her about us?

- There's something I haven't told you - I answered.

- What is it? - she asked intrigued.

- You and I - I couldn't complete the sentence.

- We, were we going out? - she asked.

- Yes - that's all I could answer.

- Why didn't you mention this before? - she answered, even more intrigued than before.

- I didn't think it was necessary, it wasn't the point - I said.

- Maybe for you it's not important, but for me it is, I need to remember - she said.

- I'm sorry, but that wasn't a pleasant memory for me, it's not like everything we're going through right now. - I responded regretfully for the way I had spoken to him before.

I had already suffered too much for her but I still loved her, I was falling in love again, that's something I couldn't help. She was making me fall in love.

- Can you tell me about the time we were dating? - she asked.

- Are you sure? - I answered, hoping that she wouldn't want to.

- Yes, I want to know what I was like with you - she said.

- Well, we dated for a few months actually, but all virtually, we only saw each other once. To me you were a very quiet girl, very reserved, you didn't open up to tell me anything personal like you do now; I also know that if you tell me your things now it's because you only remember my name and don't trust others... - I started by saying.

I didn't know how she would react to what I'm telling her, because that would be the harsh reality.

Continuing...

- I always told you how much I loved you, how much I was dying to see you again, and obviously, you avoided those comments of mine; every image of love I sent you was just something 'nice' and that was it. You didn't reciprocate my feelings towards you, I felt I was the only one between the two of us who was falling in love. I also know that you don't remember the time when you told me that you only wanted to be my friend, even though I asked you to formalize it; you told me that being from different universities ruined everything, that you didn't want me to be unfaithful to you, I told you that I would be incapable of being unfaithful to you, that if I didn't want anything to do with you I would let you know and that we wouldn't try anymore, but you didn't believe me, you closed yourself in your thoughts and left me with a broken heart. I had left all my feelings uncovered, I felt hurt, I felt betrayed, disappointed that the girl I was in love with told me no, it was the worst moment of my life; I went into depression, sadness inhabited my being, I could not eat, I could not get sleep at night, I only thought about how you could have hurt me so much, at what moment had all this gone to waste, it is something I still cannot understand, because only you know the answer.

You didn't know how moved I was by your 'I love you', every time you said 'I love you' I began to notice it as an over-valued word from you, as something you said to everyone, that you didn't take it seriously; the first time you said 'my love' I was moved, but later I noticed that it was also something else that was over-valued.

You know something, for me those phrases have a lot of value, it's not something that I can say easily, it's something that I must feel deeply, I feel that you, by telling me so lightly, provoked me to get excited about you, and that... that was very bad of you.

You weren't aware of my feelings, it's like you never cared and you just wanted to meet someone to go out with, kiss them and that's it. Let me inform you that, I am not like that, I am not someone you can spend time with and the next day leave aside; I am someone who takes things seriously, I loved you, and a lot, and you never knew how to value that. That's what I get for not telling you things clearly from the beginning. After all, you kept writing to me, I no longer understood why, I mean, I know you asked me to be friends but how do you expect to be friends with the girl you met to be more than just friends, how do you expect me to respond to you like before, if nothing was like before, how could I follow a conversation between us, if every time I responded to you trying to be your friend, you did not respond again? It was impossible for me to engage in a conversation with a person who was not interested.

I always wanted to ask you, why did you talk to me again, was it to find out if I had already forgotten you, to find out if I was already in a formal relationship? Those are the doubts you left in me.

You, my dear Valentina, you squeezed all my feelings like a fresh orange to make soda.

Maybe this is very sincere and very direct, but it is something I never had the chance to tell you, until now.

They say that the worst punishment that a human being in love can do is to be indifferent, and being indifferent to you made you eliminate me from your contacts again, yes, I realized that you did it, just as every time you felt jealous, the 'you' that you don't remember must have been hurt by my indifference, because if so, it means that before you had the accident, you were still thinking about me; that idea is not of my displeasure, because, who falls in love, does not forget easily, and you Valentina, you are not easy to forget.

I would give everything for us to try again, for you to fall in love with me again, or for you to fall in love with me this time, of course, if you want to try. Because now that if we go out, now that if you see me more often, you won't be able to escape from me - he said, leaning against the wall of the street we were passing by - I know that if we go out and you fall in love, you won't be able to resist the heat of my body when I want to hug you or when you want to try to escape from what you would start to feel". - I said firmly, throwing away everything I had hidden in my heart.

There was a moment of silence, she was silent, thinking.

I looked at her and thought, is it possible that someone falls in love with the same person twice, is it possible that the new "she" is making me fall in love?

Suddenly I heard a...

- Let's go out - she said in a whisper.

- Are you sure you won't regret it later, that you won't leave me again? - I asked her very fearfully.

- Take a chance on me, because remember, I don't remember anything. - He could hardly say.

- Well, let's go out on a date, tomorrow at 8 p.m. I'll be at your door - I said enthusiastically.

It was the first time that she asked me out, what nerves.

My heart was starting to love her again.

We continued walking.

My heart began to beat very strongly when I was near her, and even more so when I risked holding her hand.

Things were changing, it was like starting from scratch, as if we knew each other again, as if we had a chance to change what happened to us and remember this new history.

She was starting to show interest in me, something I had never done before.

I think that deep down I appreciate the accident that happened to her, I don't take away how horrible it must have been for her family, but, for me it's the best, I think that she and I are destined to be together.

I know it's rash to talk about destiny, but things happen for a reason.

Life often takes unexpected turns, and this is the proof of that. I thought that we would never see each other again or talk, that our lives would never cross again, but, here we are, together again.