The Proposal

"Thank God! I left work early". Hindi naman ako masaya sa pag-uwi pero first time ko in a long time makaramdam ng excitement, iyong tipong nakakakaba. Nasa harap na ako ng pintuan ng apartment ko nang nagdalawang isip akong kumatok na buksan ang pinto o papasok using my keys. I finally decided to knock after imagining all sorts of things. "Eto pala ang feeling kapag may naghihintay sa akin sa pag-uwi" bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko sa mga pinag-iisip ko. As if may naghihintay talaga sa akin sa loob. I don't even know if Matthew is still there. "Okay din naman if walang tao sa loob," pinagaan ko ang loob ko. I knocked three times and waited. More or less, five seconds ang lumipas bago may bumukas sa pinto.

"Hi," Nakangising bati ni Matthew sa akin. Suot-suot niya ang inilatag kong paired sleeping blouse and PJs na kulay pink ko sa small table sa tabi ng sofa kaninang umaga. Ito lang kasi ang possible na kasya sa kanya. Kahit na nakasuot siya ng pink, bakas parin ang nakaka-aliw niyang masculine aura. And, this even made my heart skips a beat.

"Hi," Bati ko naman agad. "Aaah- kumain ka na?" dumaan ako sa bandang kanan niya making sure na hindi ako makasagi sa kanya. "Sorry ha… wala kasi akong damit dito na panglalaki" dire-diretso akong nagtungo sa bedroom ko. Ngunit, bago tuluyang pumasok, liningon ko siya at nakasunod pala siya sa akin na nakangisi parin.

"I prepared something for dinner…"

"Bihis lng ako ha, see you sa kitchen.." dali-dali akong pumasok sa kuwarto ko.

"Sure."

Thirty seconds nakasandal lang ako sa pintuan and nakanganga, asking myself, "What am I doing?" May lalaki sa apartment ko and worst is we share the same clothes. I throw my hand bag on my bed; shake my hands and throw myself on my bed and flutter my legs just to make myself calm. So, ngayon lang talaga nag-sink in sa akin na I was literally brought a man here.

"Audrey?" I panicked when I hear Matthew calls me.

"Y-es… Wait!"

I wore my usual outfit na PJs at loose t-shirt. I don't mind wearing these clothes because I felt comfortable and conservative. I slowly opened my bedroom door but Matthew is not outside. So, pumunta ako sa kitchen and na-surprised that everything is set up and that we are actually ready to eat.

"Wow", I whispered in my amazement looking at four kinds of fried dishes hotdog, bacon, longanisa and tocino, eto lng talaga ang mga pagkain na meron ako. I caught Matthew staring at me.

"What do you think?" his dimples float out from his cheeks as he smiled proudly sabay galaw pataas ng makapal niyang kilay.

Last night he utters his words in English. Natawa lng ako kagabi akala ko nag-iEnglish lng kasi lasing. Pero ngayon nakakagulat kasi his accent and choice ng words parang foreigner. Dapat pala nag-English ako kagabi.

"Yeah, it has been a long time since someone cooked for me," I make sure that my English has the slightest American accent.

"Good to hear. Shall we eat?"

"Yes, sure"

"I like your apartment. This kitchen-dining combination makes one live comfortably," seriously nakaka-turn on ng accent niya.

"My father gave this apartment as a gift. He's the one who pays this place until now…" I blurted such shameful part of my life.

"ahhh, your father really cares for you…" we started to eat silently.

"Yeah… Every parent does, actually," I am not sure if I am smiling or grinning at this time.

"And, Audrey, I literally cooked all your frozen foods that left in your refrigerator. I checked the expiry dates and most of them will expire this week. I bet you lived here in "instant."

Nagulat ako sa remark niya hindi dahil inubos niyang niluto, kumg hindi dahil sa sinabi niyang "instant."

"Aaah, I mean yes, probably I'm busy at work… thank you ha. At least hindi nasayang," hindi ako makatingin sa kanya dahil nahihiya talaga ako knowing na someone knows how I live. Ang totoo kasi, pagpiprito lang talaga ang alam ko sa pagluluto.

"I plan to stay here…" he smiled.

"What?!" I did not even swallow my spoon of food properly as I stand up.

"I am sorry I thought I'll be a little help," he wears excitement in his eyes.

"I-I mean ahhh-. I think there's a misunderstanding," I am embarrass.

"I know… I must not say this; you know the idea of staying here for a month may be a way to pay you for saving me."

"Well, you don't need to worry. I volunteered so I do not expect in return. I left a note to make sure you are okay if you leave. I just want to talk to you. That's the reason why I told you to stay," ipinaliwanag ko sa kanya yung tama kung rason pero ramdam ko ang konting pagkakahinayang if in case na aalis siya talaga.

"I'm so sorry…" more on disappointment ang narinig ko sa kanya at hindi paghingi ng sorry.

We continue to eat silently. For like a minute or two I caught myself staring at him. Up to this moment I still could not believe that my high school crush is in my place. Matthew did not change a lot. As for his physical appearance he just matured a little bit. Twelve years have passed and he is still the Matthew I knew. His smile and his gaze are the things, for me that stand out.

"Matthew…" I make sure not to meet his gaze.

"Audrey…"

I hesitated but blurted out my words.

"When we are in high school did you know that I liked you?" I am twenty-seven already and I think I will not to lose anything if I ask.

"I did not know… but I knew that I have liked you…"

Andrew's voice reverberated in my ears. My heartbeat runs even more rapidly and felt my own cheeks getting hot.

"Really?" I coughed and controlled myself not to overreact.

"I knew that I have liked you" these were the words that I heard when I closed my eyes. Now I am lying in bed thinking how he might look at me while eating because until we finished the dinner we both ran out of words to speak. We fixed the dishes together and separated our ways. I went to my bed room and Matthew went to the sofa. I told him that we will talk about him staying here tomorrow. Sa totoo lang isang hiwaga ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Iyong parang nagising ako sa matagal na pagkatulong. Iyong parang aabot ang ngiti ko hanggang sa tainga. Natulog ako sa kakaisip ng mga nangyayari. " '…I have liked you' napakasarap pakinggan," nawari ko bago tuluyang matulog.