Jakarta, Indonesia

I glanced at the clock on my left wrist, exactly at 1300. Hmmm... That means I have to wait another 1 hour and 20 minutes to be able to take off and soon take me away from Jakarta, the city where I spent my adolescence and childhood. My college, the city where all the bitterness of my life began.

Today I will embark on my long journey around the world, satisfying the adventurous desire within me as well as erasing all my pain that I felt during the past year. I'm claustrophobic enough to stay in this city. This town took everything I had. Mom, Hein and also Papa.

This year was so tiring for me, as if it drained all of my energy to grow. I lost the only core relative I had, my father left me forever, to be precise three months ago, and as the only child in the family, resulted in me being alone.

Previously, I also had to experience a bitter story in my love life which ran aground a month after the departure of my father.

Somehow everything I held in my hands just crumbled away. I felt like my world had completely collapsed without a handle, and left me alone.

I must be lost...

I have to go...

I don't want to be in this city any longer...

Every corner of the city just makes me hurt...

Hein, he's the only man I've ever been close to, I've known him since the first day of high school. From the moment I first set foot in this city, he was the figure who accompanied me for seven years in Jakarta, and he was also my first love.

Seven years isn't a short period for any relationship, and during the seven years he was the only person I could trust, he's a boyfriend, friend, and also brother to me. I sacrificed many things just for the sake of him.

Jade Marry William is the name my parents gave me, I am half Australian, Indoesian. Australian from my father, and Indonesian from my mother.

My father is a businessman who manages oil drilling in Kalimantan, because of my father's job I had to go through 'home schooling' until I finished junior high school.

My childhood was beautiful, our family was very harmonious, and as an only child I got abundant full love from my parents.

My dad was a calm character, who didn't talk much, is wise and full of love, while Mom was a smart, strong, independent woman but very soft hearted.

Entering high school, I chose to stay in Jakarta and learned to live a social life that so far had been lacking.

Well, at the age of 16, I didn't even have friends, I didn't know how to hang out, share or interact with others.

Papa enrolled me in one of the best high schools in Jakarta. I still remember the first day of school clearly.

I was shy, naive, geeky and even looked tacky compared to my peers who were metropolitan products with their designer clothing. Compared to my clumsy style, I didn't dare to look at other people.

Sometimes I also mispronounced a few words and spoke different to the accent of people who live in a metropolitan city, which pushed me farther away from the crowd of others.

Glasses that are very old are always loyally perched on top of my nose, clothes that are too large, and hair tied up without a care, completed with a look of innocence and insecurity.

I always smile remembering that moment, and in short...

Hein was like a knight who saved me from all the banter and glances from my peers.

At that time, Hein was my senior in high school, a very loved school basketball star, the top basketball scorer who made the school proud.

Hein is also the person responsible for introducing me to many things about Jakarta, and transformed me from an ugly duckling to a fashionable princess.

Actually, Hein came from a simple family, living with a mother who sells rice and a grandfather. They occupied a small house in the otista cawang area of ​​East Jakarta, which is quite far from our school. His father left them and lived with another woman when he was seven years old. His talent and outstanding achievements led him to get a scholarship at a prestigious high school in South Jakarta.

Maple Glory International School is the name of the school where we met, a prestigious school where most students came from the upper classes, children of officials, expatriates, high achieving students, with a very high level of social competition.

Hein's protection and affection made me fall in love and depend on him completely. The first six months of school, I lost my mom, because of the pain she suffered, at the age of fifteen I had to lose the only figure who had been taking care of me with great love, my angel and my true friend.

Mom left me forever, and my knight named Hein is the one who was the most instrumental in restoring my happiness. After my mother left I had to live alone in the wilderness of Jakarta. Papa couldn't accompany me, he had to always be in Kalimantan and could only visit me once a month making Hein the only gem in my life.

Everything depended on Hein's control. Our life is a symbiosis of mutualism, where I needed it, and on the contrary I helped him. I supported the financial life of Hein's family, the best care for his grandfather who was starting to suffer from poor health. The repairs to their restaurant which was already worn out for his mother, and our lifestyles as a pair of trendy youths.

I don't even care I presented a nissan sportscar on Hein's birthday.

Love is blind.

On my seventeenth birthday I gave the one thing that was very precious to me, with Hein! With all my innocence I gave up the most precious thing for Hein 'virginity' in the hope that Hein would be tied to me forever.

I was the fool.

I was caught in the wrong life. And we lived like husband and wife from a very young age.

Heinard Mahendrata is the full name of Hein, a sweet guy with Indonesian-Chinese from Kudus a city in central Java. A well-built man with a 185cm body posture, yellow skin, and a face above average. Hein's smile and words were very subtle, making every woman easily fall in love with him.

He looked almost perfect.

Everyone who meets Hein suspected that he came from a rich IndoChinese family, because of his achievements and demeanor that tended to be high class and orderly. Everything about Hein was supported by myself, as the daughter of the owner of 'WILLIAM DRILLING', its very easy for me to give Hein what he wants.

Including paying for a vacation to NYC just to watch the NBA.

My longing for family made me dedicate myself completely to the Hein family, every week after worship there would be a celebration of eating and dining at luxurious restaurants as a family, sometimes we vacationed together to neighboring countries, or to the island of Bali with eight or ten of Hein's relatives joining us.

Hein was a basketball star adored by many girls, our romance life is always filled with arguments triggered by my intense jealousy. I fell on my knees in front of Hein so much that I had a relationship that was actually unnatural.

After the day Hein took my virginity, he slowly began to change. He began to be more demanding. He asked me to buy him goods and collections that had hefty price tags. His overprotective attitude made me unable to mingle with others, and always disappeared when I needed help.

Eventually, I caught Hein playing with fire behind me, Yes! Hein had betrayed me.

He dated several women without my knowledge, I even caught them checking-in at a hotel with another woman when I followed him one time.

Sadly, I couldn't do anything about it, couldn't even knock on the door where they were staying together, I just left crying. Helpless and stupid, and this happened again and again.

I'm a coward!

The highlight of our breakup, was because Hein had to take responsibility for impregnating a girl he had slept with.

I fell apart.

My tears had no time to dry off my face, because shortly after I lost my father. I then had to swallow the bitter pill about the fact that Hein married his mistress.

Alone...

Quiet...

Injured...

Ping...

The ringing and vibrating notification of my phone in my shirt pocket made me wake up from my thoughts. I reached for it and immediately answered the cellphone ring with enthusiasm after reading the name on the cellphone screen.

Natalie Calling.

"Hey, where are you? Have you left? Are you safe?" Said Natalie on the phone.

"Hello, beautiful. I'm at the airport now. I'll be boarding the plane soon. I'll tell you when I'm on the plane."

"Okay, be careful on the road, God bless you", said Natalie.

Connection lost.

There was a slight ripple of peace in the corner of my heart, after talking to Natalie. The joy enveloped me when there are people who still remembered me in this world.

Without friends, without parents, without friends, let alone lovers.

Natalie is my only cousin. She's the daughter of my late mother's sister, the only sister I can still contact. Physically, I rarely meet Natalie. She was born and raised in Manado, a young pastor, two years younger than me. [this year I'm twenty-four years old] The last meeting with Natalie was three months ago, when I returned to Manado to take care of papa's funeral who wanted to be buried beside mom.

After ten years of never seeing each other, it seemed like I found comfort in Natalie. She strengthened me a lot and gave me encouragement to keep smiling throughout my life, even though the fact is that the pain is still there.

Natalie is a cheerful, religious girl. She has a very dominant spirit of kindness, so someone who isn't good at socializing found it took time for me to get along with her and share my sadness. I smiled at the phone thinking about her.

My trip this time is going to be a long vacation without an itenary. I don't know how long, or where it will end, but I know I just want to see a lot, get to know, and study the world out there.

I want to go...

The years I passed seemed like they were only in a small box with a limited understanding. Yep!

I want to go on an adventure.

I'm not too old for that, I want to know myself more and more, to learn a lot in this wide world.

I may not know where it will end and when.

I left all the businesses that I had started for three years in Jakarta, I had already arranged for them, to allow me to work online.

I want to dissappear...

I gasped with excitment as the call for boarding was called over the intercom. I immediately stood up, tidied my clothes, and walked slowly to the queue of the entrance.

I was on the Turkish Airlines plane, which was taking me to Istanbul, the city where I will first start my journey.

It never occurred to me to visit Turkey before. To me it feels like there's nothing that catches my attention there, so this is my first trip to visit it, and see what's really there.

I chose the city of Turkey at random, when I unconsciously read a pile of articles written about Turkey and its history, at least this is a strategic place, where the only area in the world that's built on two different continents, Asia and Europe.

A country in the Middle East region known for its rich history and culture, as well as its natural uniqueness, that's what I read in a magazine article.

I sit comfortably in my business class cabin, hoping to fall asleep on the long 9 hour trip to Turkey.

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