Nightmare dressed like a dream

Her whole body stopped there, she gazes below at her daughter hugging her thighs tightly.

Leave her? Sara was startled by what she said, does she think of her father like that. It was all her fault.

"Do you think you would be happy? No, you are cursed. You are predestined to have a cursed life and bring bad luck to your close ones." Those words again ran her ears.

No matter how much she ran, it will never leave. She was more cowardly than anyone else and also selfish and greedy.

First, she took her father's life, then her mother, and even made Michael a living corpse, and made her daughter grow without a father even if she has the most loving father who doesn't even know about her existence.

Why is she like that? Why does she only hurt people close to her? The knife fell from her hand on the cold hard floor making a sharp noise.

Ami looked towards the floor where the knife fell and then looked up at her mother's face curiously.

"Momma, are you hurt?" She innocently questions out of blue after seeing tears falling down her cheeks.

"Huh?" Sara finally got back to her senses, she didn't even realize she was crying, until she heard her daughter's query.

"No, Momma is strong, she is…" she couldn't continue her sentence as if words were stuck in her throat, she wanted to say she was not fine, she was in pain, so much pain that she feels like dying but she can't.

She can't…

She broke down into tears, and plopped on the floor, looking at her daughter's eyes.

"Sorry, mommy is sorry." She mumbled in between her sobbing. Sorry, that was just the only thing she could say to her.

"Mommy, don't cry," Ami whined on seeing her mother's crying, she rubbed her mother's cheek.

Sara didn't know what to say, she was so lucky to have a daughter like her but how unlucky her daughter was, to have her as a mother. She could only be guilty for her, for Michael and everyone. She doesn't deserve anyone. She should be alone but her selfishness and greed brought jinx to everyone she cared about.

She didn't even dare to look at her daughter's eyes and tell her the truth, how ruthless and evil she was.

"Ami…" she mustered up the courage to look at her eyes but instantly regretted it. That bright amber reminded her of Michael, she forgot that she has those same pairs of amber eyes as her father.

'Will you forgive after knowing the truth?' She wanted to question her but she stood still, afraid that she would leave her, and hated her like her father. She will never be able to accept the truth.

"Nothing, go wash your hand, dinner will be ready." Sara shook her head and got up. She can't tell her daughter now, it was not the right time to do that. She was still young to know that.

"Okay, Mommy." She nodded and ran towards the bathroom but stopped midway and dash back.

"Mommy" Ami called out her mommy and made a gesture for her mother to lower her body.

Sara had no idea but she crouches on the floor. Suddenly, Ami gave a peck on her cheeks.

"Don't cry mommy, you don't look pretty while crying." Saying that she ran away towards the bathroom.

Sara couldn't stop herself from smiling. She was really sweet and cute. How can she be the daughter of someone like her? It was an ill-fated destiny they got, that all are tied to each other with thread that brings only suffering. Should she laugh or cry on this ill-fated destiny of theirs?

~~~

It was dusk till Michael finished his work, he looked out of the window. Sara's face came into her mind and the earlier encounter. He laid back at his chair and looked up at the ceiling.

"She still looks so enchanting." He mumbled under her breath. He sighed, he was such a loser. He still can't forget her and move on with his life. He still missed her and want to go back to her even after what she did to him. That scar was still at his back, but he was thinking of forgiving her. Even earlier when she kissed him, his heart pounced hardly. He wanted time to stop then and there and feel her warmth that he missed all these years.

He took out the chain he was wearing around his neck. Two wedding bands were hanging on it. He holds those ring and caressed them, their name was still caressed beneath the surface of the band.

'S&M' it could be seen clearly.

The day they broke apart, he brought those for both of them. He wanted to give her a real wedding but there was no relationship to take it to the next step.

It was just a nightmare dressed like a dream, a beautiful dream that no one would want to wake up from it but after waking up from it you just want to go back to sleep and continue dreaming but you can't because once you get up you can never dream it again. You can just cry and regret that you work up from it.