Chapter 5

I shut my door with so much force that the glass of water on my nightstand shakes a little.I stand pacing around tugging my hair on what just happened,my brother really got under my skin today.I feel adrenaline flow throw my veins and I take the glass of water and throw it directly to the wall making it shatter into pieces some water spilling on me but that doesn't take away the dread to beat something up or break anything.I run to the pile of books at the table and throw all of them down my laptop being one of them,great my fifty page assay that's supposed to be reported by next week is all gone,rage builts up one after another and I push the night lamp off my nightstand with so much force it falls with no hesitation, "fuck you" I spat at it thinking it might hear and pace once again.

Whats wrong with me? Why did I just talk like that to my brother? We have never talked to each other like this before and it was a low blow mentioning my father in all of this.I turn around kicking the bed with so much force that I felt my toes burn out of pain,a small cry leaves my lips and I sit on my bed massaging my toes,great even the bed is so much stronger than me.

The face of my brother pops up in my mind remembering the rage,anger and hurt laced with it, what did I do? Couldn't he just mind his own business, is it a must he meddles with everything I do.I can't just sit back watching him control my life,I just can't but something rings in my mind 'he will hurt you' that can be the reason why I exploded like that knowing it might be the truth.

Jax is known as the hottest boy in camparse but what's behind is just well known,he dates and hurts girls hearts.He has never been serious with any girl and that just scares me,I just let him fuck me as if I have known him my whole life without a second thought.Whats wrong with me? I have never slept with a boy just like that until he shows me his worth it.I can imagine the breaking news going all over the camparse right now, 'THE SLUT KATER MENDES JUST SLEPT WITH JAX CRUISE, ANOTHER VICTIM WHO JUST FELL FOR HIS CHARMS'

Just great I will be the talk of the week.I hear my door being opened and I see Cam peeping at the mess I made,I ignore her and continue rubbing my toes.She sits next to me jumping over the scarrated glasses and books,she looks at my leg removing it from my grasp, "its just gonner swell, apply some cream and it will be better" she says inspecting the leg and I just roll my eyes muttering a thanks. We stay in silence me ignoring her presence but my mouth itching to say something but what? "Just speak out your mind,am here for you" she says breaking the silence and I finally look at her.

"What is there to say? Mmmh that I just treated my brother like shit minutes ago just for a stranger" I say chuckling but you can sense it doesn't have a single humour in it. "Yes go on,I want you to vent your anger now before its too late" she comforts me and I look at her with saddness all the anger in me vanishing. "Oh Cam I feel like the most terrible person in the world because of how I just treated my brother.We have never had such a big argument for a trivial matter,I don't know what got into me" I say truthfully hanging my head in shame.

"Then go talk to him,say your sorry because he just looks shit like you" she says smiling a little and I give her a sad smile."What do you think about me? About me sleeping with Jax?" I ask her wanting to hear her point of view,we all know she is the smartest between the two of us,her wanting to be a doctor one day and also she looks things in a different way. "Do you really want to know what am thinking?" She questions and I nod, "well its true that Jax is really hot, nobody can be able to refuse him with his charms that's what people say and I don't blame you,its not at all my right to tell you what to do but I must say be careful with him you have heard the rumoars about him about women but again maybe those are just rumoars and not real" she says and before I can say anything she continues.

"I have no right to judge someone by people's point of view,you might find its wrong to what you think.Maybe that's in the past like all the stories go, people change maybe he will change,maybe he was never like that,that we don't know but you can find out" she finally finishes and its my turn to speak, "so are you implaying I give him a chance?" I question her and I see her hesitate a little, "well that's what am not and I am saying,I really don't know what is right here but be careful I don't want to mend your broken pieces of your heart" she says repeating the same words I told her and I laugh a little.

"Well Jax is gone saying something like he feels his intrudging here" she snorts and rolls her eyes, "you don't like him don't you?" I ask her and she sighs, "I would be lying if I said I do like him,something about him just turns me off.Its hard to read what he's feeling but that's me right always observent" she says giggling and I shrug it off,she always have this thing of knowing what people feel I think its a gift.

"So what's up with you and Zayn?" I ask her and she starts playing with her fingers, "he didn't fuck you right?" I ask her harshly ready to get in another argument with my dear brother ."No I wouldn't give my virginity to a crush" she says faster denying what I asked, "but we did cuddle and kiss for a while" she says shly locking some of her hair behind her ear. "Wow I never thought he would have some self control in him" I mutter running my hand through my hair, "well his not the same as you think he is" she says standing up from my bed and I feel guiltly for what I said to him,"if you want to talk to him,his in the living room" she says closing the door.

I sigh in defeat and wake up making my way to him,I see his back to me and I go closer sitting opposite to him, "am sorry for I said" I say breaking the uncomfortable silence and wait to see any reaction from him but he doesn't move. "Did you hear me? I said am sorry,I don't know what got into me that I talked so rudely to you.You know that I have never wanted to hurt you" I say squating near him so that we can be on the same level and wrap my hands around his which are holding his head,he looks up and relieve washes through me seeing his peaceful green-grey eyes bore into my brown ones.

"Am sorry too,I shouldn't have vented my anger to you" he says cupping my face and I hug him tightly, "its just I don't trust that asshole" he says and I look at him confused, "but I thought his your bestfriend?" I ask him and he corrects me, "was,until he fucked the living shit out of you" he mutters and I give him an accussing look. "Kater you don't know him as well as I do,all he does is use women then heartbreak them and I don't want him to do that to you" he says taking my face in his hands and I shrug him off.

I stand up and cross my hands on my chest, "isn't that what you do Zayn? You play with girls and just leave them?" I question him and guilt crosses his faces. "Yes that's true,that's what I used to do but have changed" he defends himself and my eyes zeros to him, "what changed that if I may ask?" I question him and he looks away.I snort knowing his old habit will never change, "its Cam" he says out of nowhere and I look at him shocked as if my ears are deceiving me.

"You must be joking,we have known her like our whole lives and you say she is the one who changed you?" I ask him not believing one bit of his story, "I know it looks like a joke but even me am not understanding what's wrong with me that I never noticed her all this time" he says rubbing his back of his neck and I know his sincere in this.I sit next to him ready to hear what he has to say because this includes my bestfriend too. "She has always been there for me when I needed her, when we would have a big fight that would shake us both just like this one,she would make me think straight,tell me what is right and wrong.You know I have always known I liked her but I couldn't just man up and tell her what I felt because I would see it as a piece of shit that's why I cover it up by going around fucking who ever I see with a shirt, you as an exception but when I see her dating or become close with another guy I could get pissed off and just go sleep with someone and leave them,I didn't know why I felt that way" he says looking into my eyes and running his hand through his auburn hair.

"Then what made you want her?" I ask him curiously and a smile tugs on his lips, "the way she looked so beautiful last night,in her red dress that showed out her beautiful legs and that reminds me I didn't like how you were wearing last night or right now" he says looking at me and I roll my eyes, "so as I was saying when I saw her last night its like an angel had fallen with her beautiful shinny brown locks.In my eyes nobody compared to her and I couldn't stand the pervates that where looking at her, make it both of you,I couldn't stand it" he says gritting his teeth his smile vanishing.

"Just get to the point" I say impatiently rolling my eyes for his protectiveness, "well when I first kissed her all my nuts went crazy,I felt wonderful that I can't even describe,peaceful and desire that I have never felt for anyone else that's when it registered.." he says and I finish for him, "you love her" I say utterly shocked that my brother is in love,I never thought that will ever happen.He nods his head in confirmation, "I have never felt this way sis and for once I don't want sex from a woman I want her love" he says holding my hands and I see honesty and love flooding his eyes.I feel my heart swell from happiness and joy knowing for once he has made the right decision, "am so happy for you Zayn,I can't believe this is happening right now" I sqeaul happly jumping up and down.

"Calm down woman,your happy as if its you you have fallen in love" he says chuckling, "it doesn't matter who has fallen in love but this is wonderful,its like a miracle.You know I had lost all my hopes in you" I say jokingly and he just shakes his head. "But you have to promise,you won't tell her anything that have told you" he says sternly and I look at him confused, "but why? She has to know she has an admirer" I tell him and he shakes his head, "no,I want her to see the real me first before someone goes runnning to her that I love her" he say and I nod my head in understanding.

"But that's not the real issue here" he states and looks at me seriously, "if you can change he will change" I state shrugging hopping its true, "but that's hard for me to believe,him changing.He never stays with one girl for long" he says and I nibble on my lip, "but even me I never thought you would change" I state and he shakes his head, "but has he really told you what he wants?" He questions and I stay silent, "he hasn't right? And that's what am afraid of.You will always be my little sister Kater,whether you like it or not and I will always protect you" he says caressing my cheeks and brings me to his chest,he sees the sadness strirring in me and he tells me something I never thought he would say.

"Okey,I will give him a chance but if he lets a single tear fall on your cheek,I will kill him" he states and a smile crips out on my lips, "really?" I ask happily hugging him, "don't make me take it back" he jokes and I punch his shoulder playfully, "thank you" I squeak and he smiles a little, "I hope I have made the right decision" he says rubbing my arm and we hear Cam coming to our direction,I hope she hasn't heard what we said.She looks at us for a moment and she smiles, "looks like your back to your old selves" she jokes skipping to the kitchen and takes out a chocolet from the cabinet.

I guess she hasn't heard anything. "Well I better go,I have work to finish" Zayn says waking up, "what work?" I ask him confused, "well am working at a construction site with my friends help and I get paid well" he winks at me and I huff, "you never told me you started working" I whine at him and he chuckled, "well now you know" he says and turns to Cam, "I will see you later then" he tells her and she just nods,he hesitates for minute before he pecks her cheeks and she turns beetroot red, "oh yeah and I will see you later" I shout making them stop there lovy dovy stuff and I go to the kitchen.

"Bye sis and be careful" and with that his gone to his well paid work even me I want to work,I huff in annoyance, "now whats wrong?" Cam asks rolling her eyes taking a bite from the chocolate bar,I snatch it from and take a bite of it, "hey that was mine" she whines and I finish it faster before she can take it back."Too bad" I say showing her the paper and she huffs, "all I asked is if there is something wrong and you do this" she whines gesturing to the paper and I roll my eyes.

I turn to the kitchen's cabinets and give her the remaining one to shut her whinning, "so has Zayn accepted your relationship with Jax?" She asks and I nod, "yep now let me see if Jax can win me over" I hum taking some water, "I hope not" she muttrrs to herself thinking I won't hear but have heard. "Come help me arrange my room,I did some disarrangements in there" I plead to her giving her puppy eyes and she sighs in defeat, "okey only if you will buy me more chocolates" she says and I promise her.

^^^^^

I walk to the gym my mind being elsewhere and I bump into something hard and warm, "ouch can you watch where your walking" I blame the person who I just bump into rubbing my sore forehead, "I think its you that was not looking where you were going" I hear the familiar deep voice and look up to see a grinning Jax.

"Yeah I still think you should have moved" I tell him taking my bag that has fallen off my shoulder and turn back to him, "um sorry for leaving like that the other day" he says rubbing his neck and I just nod, "don't sweat, its alright but I haven't seen you in a while" I tell knowing it has been like three days since the argument we had with my brother. "Yeah well I had some family issues I had to attend" he says and I nod.

"Hope everything is fine" I say and he smiles, "your so sweet and yes everything is fine.Um can we talk somewhere more quiet?" He asks and that when I notice his sweaty chest,I blush a little knowing am checking him out, "sure where do you wanna talk?" I squeak and he smirks, "lets go to that corner,there aren't a lot of people there" he says gesturing to the farthest corner of the gym and we head there.

"So what did you want to talk about?" I question him and he caresses my cheek while his other hand has caged me between us, "you look beautiful" he says out of nowhere and inhales deeply, "and you smell wonderful" he says and I look at him a little confused, "thanks" I mutter and he lets go of me sitting on the bench opposite to me.

"Kater you know that I like you right?" He asks and I nod, "you told me that the last time we saw each other" I clarify, "right but I like you a lot,I have never felt this way but I know your brother is against what I feel for you" he says sadly and I take his arms, "he was against from the start but his okey with it right now" I tell him and he looks in my eyes, "really he doesn't have a problem?" He questions surprised, "yep his okey but I want to know one thing" I tell him and he looks at me waiting for me to continue, "what do you want from me Jax?" I ask him sternly and he hesitates a little before he speaks.