Chapter 16: Journal

"Jiana Chavez and Lucas Narvaez? Are they at it now?!" A girl who had the audacity to shout it at the while place said.

I didn't mind it and so did Lucas because his eyes are focused on my sketchpad while he's busy preparing his food.

I faked a cough and closed my journal and placed it on top of my sketchpad, blocking whatever he's looking at.

Upon that move, he lifted his eyes on mine and I quickly recomposed myself. I actually want to eat my nuggets but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Leaving is a choice too. But I'd rather not. Even though my feet is itching and urging me to.

I looked around the cafe and saw people staring at us. I also looked for some vacant seats and saw that there are many of them.

I cleared my throat and asked him, "Why are you here?"

He raised his eyebrow at me and took a bite on his lunch.

"Eating," he said with his 'duh' expression.

I watched him with my irritated expression. Why does he talk so rude, anyways?

But then out of the blue, he casually took a piece of his chicken nugget and presented to me with his waving hands.

My face heated and avoided my face from his hand.

"W-what?" I said.

"You want this, right?" he waved his hand again, as if forcing me to eat the piece of food he's holding.

I held his hands and forced it down because people's stares right now is getting hotter by the minute.

"Y-yes, but I have mi—" I was cut off when he waved his hands with the nugget again on my face.

I snatched it once again and pinned it on the table but he has more strength so he managed to fight back and repositioned his hands.

I sighed. I looked around and even saw some girls crying while obviously watching us. Seriously? That's his effect on girls?

You've got to be kidding me.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked.

"You want this, right? Here," he once again waved his hand so I had no choice but to oblige on his persistence.

I took a small bite on his nugget. As I chewed on it, I can't help but to be conscious since he was staring at me too much.

It only took a while for him to continue eating.

I sighed for the nth time and just chose to get back to drawing. I kept on looking back at him to make sure I wasn't catching his attention.

I erased the part where the empty seat infront of me and drew him there.

It wasn't long after I finished the sketch and details.

I leaned on the backrest of my chair and made my sketchpad stand and angled it on the edge of the chair. I didn't even noticed that I was smiling until another piece of nugget appeared on my face.

I put my sketchpad down and sighed. "Seriously, why are you doing this?" I asked.

Just like last time, he waved the nugget infront of me and the stupid me bit on it. I even blushed when he ate the rest of it.

"You know, Lucas, if you're just forcing yourself to 'be friendly with me', then you don't really have to do this." I added.

"But this is what I want to do," he said casually.

"But why?"

"Because I want to," he shrugged and cleaned his tray as soon as he was finished eating. His eyes then met mine. I was the one who looked away first since his was too heavy to take.

Without presence of mind, I placed my sketchpad at the table. I only realized what I did when his eyes dropped to it and smirked.

I immediately covered my sketch of him with my hands. But I know it's too late. He already saw it.

"I looke handsome in there," he cockily said.

Without knowing what to do and say, I excused myself. I stood up and with shaking hands, I cleaned my mess on the table.

I glanced at him who is now smiling from ear to ear.

Because I was in a hurry, my journal fell and it slipped near Lucas' feet. I quickly attempted to get it but he got it first. He opened it and read what's inside. His smile went bigger than ever.

A moment later, he stood up. He towered over me and I refused to look at his face and because he's way too taller than me even with my heeled shoes, my line of vision is just his shoulders.

"Roses are red

Violets are blue

Happiness in two,

For me and for you" he read as he played on my journal.

I had goosebumps on his deep, hoarse voice and the poem he just read out loud. My eyes widened.

He just read my poem!

I immediately raised my hand to get a hild of my journal when he raised it above him, where I could not possibly reach.

I tiptoed and attempted to get it but there's no use. I can't even reace half of his arm. And he took advantage of it.

Without putting his arms down, he opened my journal again and read one poem he found.

"maybe the moon can't

have the sun

was the reason why she

loved him so.

You be the sun

And I'll be the moon;

I'd be watching your

light shining through

And when the night comes

I'll shine the light back to you."

My cheeks turned bright red. Seriously?! Out of all my poems in that journal, why would he read the one about him?

My heart thumped loudly. I don't know why but I feel like he'll know sooner or later that that poem was about him. Or am I just too guilty? Of course he wouldn't assume! He's too assuming if that's the case.

My tears are forming at the corner of my eye out of frustration. And I also know for a fact that many people are watching us because I could feel it.

"Lucas, give me the fucking journal," I frustratedly said. He didn't gave up, though and so do I.

He turned the page and read another one again.

"I told the stars about us

How your eyes explored mine

I told the stars about us

How my ocean mind became wild

I told the stars about us

How you knocked the doors of my heart

Until I finally let you—"

He was cut off by himself when he started laughing. My chest clenched because of his reaction. Why is he laughing? What's so funny about it?

I felt humiliated. I feel like my writing skill wasn't enough and it will only make peopl cringe and laugh. Like Lucas' reaction.

I can't take it. Fuck, I hated being this weak. That's just the case, Jiana, and you're already on the verge of crying?

I started having doubts and regrets about myself. I actually wanted to give him one when the right time comes but Imm afraid I won't be anble to because of him.

He kept on laughing that's why he wasn't able to see my reaction. I took a step backwards. I scanned and observed him if he's soon to stop laughing but before I see it, a ter dropped.

I don't want for them ti see it so I immediately turned my back against him and started running away, not minding about the things I left in the cafeteria. Even my journal.

I'm so good at running away and I hated it.